He paused, thinking about this, and finally decided not to push it. "Okay."
But he pushed me onto the couch, lying over me, still kissing with that same fierceness. His lips traveled down to my neck, and when the sharp points of his fangs brushed against my skin, I couldn't help an excited gasp.
He raised himself up, looking into my face with open surprise. For a moment, I could barely breathe, recalling that rush of pleasure that a vampire bite could fill me with, wondering what it'd be like to feel that while making out. Then the old taboos kicked in. Even if we didn't have sex, giving blood while we did this was still wrong, still dirty.
"Don't, " I warned.
"You want to. " His voice held excited wonder. "I can tell."
"No, I don't."
His eyes lit up. "You do. How-hey, have you done it before?"
«No,» I scoffed. "Of course not."
Those gorgeous blue eyes watched me, and I could see the wheels spinning behind them. Jesse might flirt a lot and have a big mouth, but he wasn't stupid.
"You act like you have. You got excited when I was by your neck."
"You're a good kisser, " I countered, though it wasn't entirely true. He drooled a little more than I would have preferred. "Don't you think everyone would know if I was giving blood?"
The realization seized him. "Unless you weren't doing it before you left. You did it while you were gone, didn't you? You fed Lisa."
"Of course not, " I repeated.
But he was on to something, and he knew it. "It was the only way. You didn't have feeders. Oh, man."
"She found some, " I lied. It was the same line we'd fed Natalie, the one she'd spread around and that no one-except Christian-had ever questioned. "Plenty of humans are into it."
«Sure,» he said with a smile. He leaned his mouth back to my neck.
"I'm not a blood whore, " I snapped, pulling away from him.
"But youwant to. You like it. All you dhamp girls do. " His teeth were on my skin again. Sharp. Wonderful.
I had a feeling hostility would only make things worse, so I defused the situation with teasing. "Stop it, " I said gently, running a fingertip over his lips. "I told you, I'm not like that. But if you want something to do with your mouth, I can give you some ideas."
Thatpeaked his interest. "Yeah? Like wha-?"
And that was when the door opened.
We sprang apart. I was ready to handle a fellow student or even possibly the matron. What I was not ready for was Dimitri.
He burst in the door like he'd expected to find us, and in that horrible moment, with him raging like a storm, I knew why Mason had called him a god. In the blink of an eye, he crossed the room and jerked Jesse up by his shirt, nearly holding the Moroi off the ground.
"What's your name? " barked Dimitri.
"J-Jesse, sir.Jesse Zeklos, sir."
"Mr. Zeklos, do you have permission to be in this part of the dorm?"
"No, sir."
"Do you know the rules about male and female interactions around here?"
"Yes, sir."
"Then I suggest you get out of here as fast as you can before I turn you over to someone who will punish you accordingly. If I ever see you like this again "-Dimitri pointed to where I cowered, half-dressed, on the couch- "Iwill be the one to punish you. And it will hurt.A lot. Do you understand?"
Jesseswallowed, eyes wide. None of the bravado he usually showed was there. I guess there was
«usually» and then there was being held in the grip of a really ripped, really tall, and really pissed-off Russian guy "Yes, sir!"
«Thengo.» Dimitri released him, and, if possible, Jesse got out of there faster than Dimitri had burst in.
My mentor then turned to me, a dangerous glint in his eyes. He didn't say anything, but the angry, disapproving message came through loud and clear.
And then it shifted.
It was almost like he'd been taken by surprise, like he'd never noticed me before. Had it been any other guy, I would have said he was checking me out. As it was, he was definitely studying me.Studying my face, my body. And I suddenly realized I was only in jeans and a bra-a black bra at that. I knew perfectly well that there weren't a lot of girls at this school who looked as good in a bra as I did. Even a guy like Dimitri, one who seemed so focused on duty and training and all of that, had to appreciate that. And, finally, I noticed that a hot flush was spreading over me, and that the look in his eyes was doing more to me than Jesse's kisses had. Dimitri was quiet and distant sometimes, but he also had a dedication and an intensity that I'd never seen in any other person. I wondered how that kind of power and strength translated into…well, sex. I wondered what it'd be like for him to touch me and-shit!
What was I thinking? Was I out of my mind? Embarrassed, I covered my feelings with attitude.
"You see something you like? " I asked.
"Get dressed."
The set of his mouth hardened, and whatever he'd just felt was gone. That fierceness sobered me up and made me forget about my own troubling reaction. I immediately pulled my shirt back on, uneasy at seeing his badass side.
"How'd you find me? You following me to make sure I don't run away?"
"Be quiet, " he snapped, leaning down so that we were at eye level. "A janitor saw you and reported it. Do you have any idea how stupid this was?"
"I know, I know, the whole probation thing, right?"
"Not just that. I'm talking about the stupidity of getting inthat kind of situation in the first place."
"I get inthat kind of situation all the time, Comrade. It's not a big deal. " Anger replaced my fear. I didn't like being treated like a child.
"Stop calling me that. You don't know even know what you're talking about."
"Sure I do. I had to do a report onRussia and the R.S.S.R. last year."
"U.S.S.R.And it is a big deal for a Moroi to be with a dhampir girl. They like to brag."
"So?"
"So? "he looked disgusted. "So don't you have any respect? Think about Lisa. You make yourself look cheap. You live up to what a lot of people already think about dhampir girls, and it reflects back on her. And me."
"Oh, I see. Is that what this is about? Am I hurting your big, bad male pride? Are you afraid I'll ruin your reputation?"
"My reputation is already made, Rose. I set my standards and lived up to them long ago. What you do with yours remains to be seen. " His voice hardened again. "Now get back to your room-if you can manage it without throwing yourself at someone else."
"Is that your subtle way of calling me a slut?"
"I hear the stories you guys tell. I've heard stories about you."
Ouch. I wanted to yell back that it was none of his business what I did with my body, but something about the anger and disappointment on his face made me falter. I didn't know what it was.
«Disappointing» someone like Kirova was a non-event, but Dimitri?…I remembered how proud I'd felt when he praised me the last few times in our practices. Seeing that disappear from him…well, it suddenly made me feel as cheap as he'd implied I was.
Something broke inside of me. Blinking back tears, I said, "Why is it wrong to…I don't know,have fun?
I'm seventeen, you know. I should be able to enjoy it."
"You're seventeen, and in less than a year, someone's life and death will be in your hands. " His voice still sounded firm, but there wasa gentleness there too. "If you were human or Moroi, you could have fun. You could do things other girls could."
"But you're saying I can't."
He glanced away, and his dark eyes went unfocused. He was thinking about something far away from here. "When I was seventeen, I met Ivan Zeklos. We weren't like you and Lisa, but we became friends, and he requested me as his guardian when I graduated. I was the top student in my school. I paid attention to everything in my classes, but in the end, it wasn't enough. That's how it is in this life. One slip, one distraction… " He sighed. "And it's too late."