Bart laughed. "Yeah, he even forgot to charge us."
Darcy winced. She hated the way vampires invaded people's minds. "So, everything went well?"
"Oh, yeah. Just great." Bernie shot Bart a knowing look.
"Okay." Darcy exhaled in relief. They weren't smirking at her. They must not realize she was the woman in the hot tub.
"Hello?" Lady Pamela called from the greenhouse entrance. "I was told to come here."
"Yes." Darcy took Lady Pamela through the greenhouse, explaining how the obstacle course worked. "Don't worry. I'll be close by with the cameramen."
She twisted her silk reticule in her hands. "Where will the other ladies be?"
"They'll be watching the whole thing on the servants' floor. We rigged up a direct feed to the television in the parlor. They'll see and hear everything."
"And when it's over, we decide which men to eliminate?"
"Yes, two men." Darcy led Lady Pamela to the stairwell. The cameramen followed. "You're the judge tonight. The other ladies will most likely follow your suggestions on who should leave."
Lady Pamela nodded thoughtfully. "I shall do my best to discover which ones are mortal, so we can rid ourselves of their horrid presence."
Darcy led her down one flight of stairs. "Your actual goal is to test them on good manners and speech."
"I understand. But obviously, it will be the mortals who possess bad manners and speech."
Darcy sighed. "Right." She exited onto the top floor of the penthouse. "Gregori brought the men upstairs to the billiards room. They're right here." She motioned to the room next door.
Bart and Bernie rushed in with their cameras.
Lady Pamela glided in and curtsied to the ten contestants. "How do you do?"
Darcy hovered by the door, watching. Some of the men bowed in return. She scanned the room 'til she spotted Adam. He stood quietly in a corner, next to Garth, regarding the other men with an intense look in his eyes. Anger? Had something upset him?
"Good evening," Gregori began. "Tonight, each of you will take a stroll through the greenhouse with Lady Pamela. You each drew a number from a hat. That number will determine the order for tonight's proceedings. Who has number one?"
One of the male Vamps stepped forward. "I do."
Gregori checked the Vamp's number. "Lady Pamela, your first escort is Roberto from Buenos Aires."
Lady Pamela curtsied. "Charmed."
Roberto escorted her toward the stairwell and opened the door for her. Bernie ran ahead to record the couple from the front. Darcy followed with the cameraman Bart. As they ascended the stairs, Lady Pamela dropped her handkerchief. Roberto picked it up and presented it to her with a bow. He made it through all the obstacles in the greenhouse without incident.
They returned to the billiards room for contestant number two. Otto of Düsseldorf was huge with the neck and shoulders of a professional linebacker. Darcy secretly thought of him as the Vamp on steroids. Obviously, he planned to spend eternity exercising his muscles. He successfully returned Lady Pamela's hanky when she dropped it. They proceeded into the greenhouse.
"Oh, my!" Lady Pamela stopped in front of the manmade mud puddle. "Whatever will we do?"
"Ya, dat is one big mud puddle." Otto had apparently forgotten to exercise the muscle in his head.
"Oh, dear. I would hate to soil my slippers." Lady Pamela looked helpless, which in her case didn't require any acting.
"Do not fret, fraulein. De Otto is here." He hefted her high into the air so suddenly that she squealed. "Ya, you like my big, bulging muscles, don't you?"
Darcy rolled her eyes.
Lady Pamela giggled.
Otto strode through the mud and continued down the path.
"Begging your pardon." Lady Pamela smiled coyly at him. "You can put me down now."
"Oh, you are light like de feather. De Otto forgot he was carrying you." He set her down. "De Otto is very strong." He flexed his biceps.
"Oh, my." Lady Pamela touched the tip of her finger on his bulging muscle. "That is impressive."
"All de ladies like de bulges." He winked at her. "Just vait till I get you into de Otto Zone."
Darcy covered her mouth to muffle any gagging noises. Otto successfully maneuvered all his bulges through the rest of the obstacle course and returned Lady Pamela to the billiards room.
Contestants four and five were Ahmed from Cairo and Pierre from Brussels. They both made it successfully through the course. Number six was Nicholas from Chicago, one of the mortals. He picked up Lady Pamela's hanky on cue. Then they approached the mud puddle. Nicholas whipped off his jacket and laid it over the puddle.
"Oh, how chivalrous." Lady Pamela watched approvingly.
"May I?" He lifted her in his arms, stepped onto his jacket, and skidded forward in the mud. His arms flailed. Lady Pamela flew into the air, screeching, then landed in the mud puddle with a great splat.
"Aagh!" She scrambled to her feet. "Look at me!" Her face and arms were speckled with mud.
Globs of mud drooled down her gown. "You clumsy oaf! This is horrid, simply horrid!"
Inwardly wincing, Darcy let Lady Pamela vent her rage for a good five minutes. After all, a little drama was good for the ratings. "Okay." She finally stepped in. "Pamela, why don't you go downstairs and change gowns so we can continue with the show?"
She sniffed. "That's Lady Pamela to you." She stalked off toward the stairwell.
"Nicholas, you might as well get changed, too." She handed him his muddy jacket.
His shoulders slumped. Mud dripped off his slacks and white dress shirt. "I'm not gonna win the million dollars, am I?"
"That will be decided by the judges." Darcy watched him trudge toward the stairs. As she waited for Lady Pamela to return, Darcy realized this would be the ideal time during the editing stage to insert Pamela's bio.
After thirty minutes, Lady Pamela returned to the billiards room, wearing a new gown. Contestant number seven was asked to step forward.
It was Adam.
CHAPTER 13
Austin had a good idea what was expected of him. Whether or not he wanted to do it was another question. He was tempted to act like a complete ass and get booted off the show. That would certainly alleviate the agony of being near Darcy. He could see her standing next to the cameraman.
He could hear her sweet voice. But he could never have her. She was dead.
He bowed his head to Lady Pamela. "Good evening."
She motioned toward the stairwell. "Will you take a turn with me?"
"Delighted," he grumbled. He lifted his arm so she could hook her cold, dead hand around his elbow.
They climbed the stairs. One cameraman stayed in front of them, while Darcy and the second cameraman trailed behind.
"Lovely weather we're having," Lady Pamela said in her snooty voice. "I simply adore a warm summer evening."
"Yes." Frustration swelled inside him. He was sick of this pretense. "But in the summer, the nights are too short."
"True. Winter nights do give us more time."
They had reached the landing on the stairs. Austin glanced back. Darcy was giving him a puzzled look. Too bad.
"Maybe you should travel to the southern hemisphere for the summer." He continued up the stairs.
"They're having their winter season now."
"Really?" Lady Pamela looked intrigued as she followed him. "You mean they're having longer nights down there?"
"Sure. Or you could go to Antarctica. The nights there are six months long. They say the penguins are very well dressed."
Lady Pamela giggled. "You silly man! No one lives in Antarctica." She dropped her hankie on the top landing. "Oh, dear."
Austin handed it to her and opened the stairwell door.