He looked away. "I can't."
"You can't feel it? Or you can't admit that you're the one causing me so much pain?"
He flinched. "I'm sorry." He ran toward the stairwell, but realized he couldn't face those other vampires yet. He slipped into the greenhouse so he could be alone. He sat on the bench and dropped his head into his hands. How could he admit he was causing Darcy pain? Dead people didn't feel pain. They didn't cry. They didn't look at you like you were breaking their heart.
Holy shit. How could he deal with this? If he admitted she was in pain, he would have to admit she was still alive. He'd have to deal with the fact that she was a vampire. And his job at the CIA was to terminate vampires.
What an unholy mess. If only he had known ahead of time. He could have hardened his heart, avoided seeing her. Ah, Sheesh. What a load of crap. Everyone had warned him she was a vampire.
She'd even tried to push him away, but he had refused to listen. This wasn't her fault. He had stubbornly ignored all the clues because his heart was already lost. Now, he had no choice but to face reality.
He was in love with a vampire.
Darcy closed the door to the pool house and leaned against it, trembling. She struggled to breathe.
Her knees wobbled, and she slid down the door to sit on the green all-weather carpet.
He'd hurt her. She must have actually fallen for him and his fast talk. Telling women what they wanted to hear. The bastard.
She'd been so pathetically easy. She'd been so cold, so lonesome, so miserable for the last four years that she'd latched on to the first man who had offered her warmth and love. Tears spilled over, and she brushed them away with growing anger. How dare he turn a one-eighty on her? Wasn't it just last night he had said any man would be stupid to let her go? Well, by his own standards, Adam was stupid. Good riddance.
She stood on shaky legs. She needed to get back to the show. It was her job, and she couldn't afford to lose it. But damn, her heart was under attack by a double-edged sword. How could she see him again, and how could she stand not to see him? He'd made her so-called life bearable again. For the last four years, she'd been forced to dwell in darkness. Only three slender rays of light—Gregori, Maggie, and Vanda—had kept her sane. Then, Adam had burst into her dark existence like a brilliant sun. He'd been the sun god, promising her warmth and life.
But it had only been a false echo that taunted her. She could never experience life again. She could never be with Adam. She'd known it all along. But still, she'd fallen for him. She'd wanted to believe that love could conquer all, that love was as sacred as Vanda claimed. Tears rolled down Darcy's face. She couldn't handle seeing him again so soon, so she went down the west end stairwell to the servants' floor.
The ladies were in the parlor, chatting. Lady Pamela was sipping hot Chocolood from a tea cup. On the TV, Darcy could see Gregori and the contestants in the billiard room. The cameramen were there, recording the men as they talked about the show.
"Are you all right?" Vanda watched Darcy with narrowed eyes.
"I'm fine," she lied, hoping it wasn't noticeable that she'd been crying. There was no way to check her appearance in a mirror, one of the minor drawbacks to being a vampire. Major drawbacks included losing her family, her savings, and her career in journalism. Hell, she'd lost her entire life because of this stupid, secret world. If Connor hadn't been so concerned about keeping their damned secret, he could have teleported her to a hospital instead of Roman Draganesti's house. She might have lived. But now, she would never know. It was too late.
"Are you ready to finish the obstacle course?" she asked Lady Pamela. "There are still three men who need to be tested."
"Must I?" Lady Pamela made a face. "I'm so dreadfully tired. And besides, I already know which men must be eliminated."
"So do we," Cora Lee piped in. "We have to get rid of that buffoon that dropped Lady Pamela in the mud."
The ladies all murmured in agreement.
"And we must be rid of the Moor," Maria Consuela announced.
"You mean Ahmed?" Lady Pamela asked. "He was perfectly well-mannered. And his speech was flawless."
"Not to mention he's very handsome," Vanda added.
"Indeed." Lady Pamela set down her tea cup. "The second man to go must be Antonio of Madrid. He had the most dreadful lisp."
"Of course he does!" Maria Consuela exclaimed. "He speaks perfect Castilian Spanish."
"Well, it sounds rather silly in English," Lady Pamela insisted. "The man told me I thmelled like a thweet red rothe."
Princess Joanna shuddered. "God forbid we should have a master who speaks like that."
Maria Consuela huffed. "Then when do I have a say in who is removed from the contest?"
"You'll get your turn," Darcy assured the Spanish vampire. "I have you down for judging qualifier number nine—strength." With a small jolt of surprise, Darcy realized that the same women who had felt uncomfortable making a decision the night before were now eager to have their say.
"Oh, look." Cora Lee pointed at the TV. "Who is that?"
When Darcy glanced at the television, her breath caught. One of the cameramen had gone to the roof and was aiming his camera through the glass panes of the greenhouse. Adam was sitting on the bench, hunched over, his head resting in his hands.
"I think it's Adam." Vanda gave Darcy a curious look.
Cora Lee sighed. "The poor man. He looks so sad."
Darcy swallowed. He looked absolutely miserable. That should have made her sad, but a small kernel of satisfaction curled in her heart. Yes! He was hurting, too. He really did care.
"You should have let me taste his blood," Lady Pamela grumbled. "I would have known in an instant if he was mortal or Vamp."
"He is one of us," Princess Joanna announced. "He must be. He was too knowledgeable about our nights."
"That was odd." Vanda exchanged a worried look with Darcy.
Darcy's throat went dry. She glanced again at the television. Adam was rubbing his forehead with his hand. Had he discovered their secret? Was that why he couldn't look at her or touch her all of a sudden?
"I agree." Maria Consuela said. "Adam must be a Vamp."
Darcy sighed. "Since you know which men to eliminate, let's go ahead with the orchid ceremony. Take two orchids from the fridge and meet us in the foyer in five minutes."
They agreed. Darcy took the elevator to the second floor of the penthouse and asked all the men to come to the foyer. She sent Gregori to fetch Adam and the second cameraman. She arranged the men in two lines on the grand staircase. Then, she quickly moved across the foyer so she could be far away when Adam arrived.
The five lady judges marched into the foyer, their heads held high. They formed a line under the huge chandelier.
"Gentlemen," Gregori announced, "two of you will be going home tonight. The limo is waiting downstairs. You'll know you're leaving when you receive a black orchid. Are you ready?"
As the men nodded, Bernie panned the camera over their faces.
"One more announcement before we begin," Gregori continued. "The amount of the prize money has just gone up. Now, the winner of The Sexiest Man on Earth will receive two million dollars."
The women gasped. Bart caught their reactions on his camera, while Bernie recorded the men's.
"Lady Pamela, you may begin." Gregori motioned for her to step forward.
She moved forward, holding two black orchids. "We look forward to furthering our acquaintance with those of you who will remain. Now, for the orchids." She took a deep breath. "Nicholas of Chicago."
Nicholas, dressed in a clean set of clothes, trudged down the stairs to accept the orchid. "Sorry I dropped you." He went back up the stairs and accepted condolences from the other men.