Margaret Millar
Vanish in an Instant
For My Loved Ones
MILL AND LINDA
1
Snow and soot sprinkled the concrete runways like salt and pepper. Twenty miles to the east Detroit was a city of smoke and lights. Twenty miles to the west the town of Arbana was not visible at all, but it was to the west that Mrs. Hamilton looked first as if she hoped to catch a miraculous glimpse of it.
On the observation ramp above the airfield she could see the faces of people waiting to board a plane or to meet someone or simply waiting and watching, because if they couldn’t go anywhere themselves, the next best thing was to watch someone else going. Under the glaring lights their faces appeared as similar as the rows of wax vegetables in the windows of the markets back home. She scanned the faces briefly, wondering if one of them belonged to her son-in-law, Paul. She wasn’t sure she would recognize him — in her mind he had never entirely taken shape as a person, he was just Virginia’s husband — or that he would recognize her.
“I certainly haven’t changed,” she said aloud, quite sharply.
Her companion turned with an air of surprise. She was a slim girl in her early twenties, rather pretty, though her fair hair and extremely light eyebrows gave her a frail and colorless appearance. Her eyes were deep blue and round, so that she always looked a little inquisitive, like a child to whom everything is new. “Did you say something, Mrs. Hamilton?”
“People don’t change very much in a year, unless it’s a bad year. And I haven’t really had a bad year until this... until now.”
The girl made a sympathetic sound, to which Mrs. Hamilton reacted stiffly. Mrs. Hamilton actively disliked and resented sympathy. In contrast to her plump small-boned body, her nature was brisk and vigorous. Holding her large black purse firmly under her arm she crossed the swept concrete apron toward the entrance to the terminal. As she passed the ramp she glanced up at the vegetable-faces once more.
“I don’t see Paul. Do you, Alice?”
“He might be waiting inside,” the girl said. “It’s cold.”
“I told you to be sure and buy a warm enough coat.”
“The coat’s warm enough. But the wind isn’t.”
“Californians get spoiled. For winter this is quite balmy.” But her own lips were blue-tinged, and her fingers inside the white doeskin gloves felt stiff as though they were in splints. “I didn’t ask him to meet me in my telegram. Well, we’ll take a taxi to Arbana. What time is it?”
“About nine.”
“Too late. They probably won’t let me see Virginia tonight.”
“Probably not.”
“I guess the... I guess they have visiting hours like a hospital.” She spoke the word they as if it had an explosive content and must be handled carefully.
There was a line-up at the luggage counter, and they took their places at the end of it. To Mrs. Hamilton, who was quick to sense atmosphere, the big room had an air of excitement gone stale, anticipation soured by reality.
Journey’s end, she thought. She felt stale and sour herself, and the feeling reminded her of Virginia; Virginia at Christmas time, the year she was eight. For weeks and weeks the child had dreamed of Christmas, and then on Christmas morning she had awakened and found that Christmas was only another day. There were presents, of course, but they weren’t, they never could be, as big and exciting and mysterious as the packages they came in. In the afternoon Virginia had wept, rocking herself back and forth in misery.
“I want my Christmas back again. I want my Christmas!” Mrs. Hamilton knew now that what Virginia had wanted back were the wild and wonderful hopes, the boxes unopened, the ribbons still in bows.
Soon, in two weeks, there would be a new Christmas. She wondered, grimly, if Virginia would weep for its return when it was gone.
“You must be tired,” Alice said. “Why don’t you sit down and let me wait in line?”
The response was crisp and immediate. “No, thanks. I refuse to be treated like an old lady, at my age.”
“Willett told me I was to be sure and look after you properly.”
“My son Willett was born to be an old maid. I have no illusions about my children. Never had any. I know that Virginia is temperamental. But that’s all. There’s no harm in her.” She rubbed her moist pallid forehead with a handkerchief. The room seemed unbearably hot, suddenly, and she was unbearably tired, but she felt impelled to go on talking. “The charge is false, preposterous. In a small town like Arbana the police are inefficient and probably corrupt. They’ve made an absurd mistake.”
She had spoken the same words a dozen times in the past dozen hours. They had, with repetition, gained force and speed like a runaway car going downhill, heading for a crash.
“Wait until you meet her, Alice. You’ll find out for yourself.”
“I’m sure I will.” Yet the more Mrs. Hamilton talked about Virginia, the more obscure Virginia became, hidden in a thicket of words like an unknown animal.
“I have no illusions,” the older woman repeated. “She is temperamental, even bad-tempered at times, but she’s incapable of injuring anyone deliberately.”
Alice murmured an indistinct but reassuring answer. She had become conscious, suddenly, of being a focus of attention. She turned and looked over Mrs. Hamilton’s shoulder toward the exit door. A man was standing near the door watching her. He was in his middle thirties, tall, a little slouched as if he worked too long at a desk, and a little hard-faced, as if he didn’t enjoy it. He wore a tweed topcoat that looked new, and a gray fedora and heavy brown English brogues.
“I think your son-in-law just came in.”
Mrs. Hamilton turned too, and glanced brightly at the man. “That’s not Paul. Too well-dressed. Paul always looks like someone in a soup line.”
“He seems to know you, by the way he stares.”
“Nonsense. Don’t be so modest. He’s staring at you. You’re a pretty girl.”
“I don’t feel pretty.”
“No woman feels pretty without a man. I used to feel pretty, though I never was, of course.”
It was true. She had never been pretty even as a girl. Her head was too large for her body and emphasized by thick brown hair that was now burning itself out like a grass-fire and showing streaks of ashes. “You must learn to pretend, Alice. After all, you’re not a schoolteacher any more. You’re a young woman of the world, you’re traveling, all sorts of exciting things can happen to you. Don’t you feel that?”
“No,” Alice said simply.
“Well, try.”
The man at the door had come to a decision. He crossed the room briskly, removing his hat as he walked.
“Mrs. Hamilton?”
Mrs. Hamilton faced him, a slight frown creasing the skin between her eyebrows. The encounter, whatever it meant, wasn’t in her plans. She had no time to waste or energy to squander on a stranger. She gripped her purse a little tighter as if the stranger had come to steal something from her.
“Yes, I’m Mrs. Hamilton.”
“My name is Eric Meecham. Dr. Barkeley sent me to meet you.”
“Oh. Well, how do you do?”
“How do you do?” He had a low-pitched voice with a faint rumble of impatience in it.
“You’re a friend of Paul’s?”
“No.”
“Then?”
“I’m a lawyer. I’ve been retained to represent your daughter.”
“Who hired you?”
“Dr. Barkeley.”
“In my wire I instructed him to wait until I arrived.”
Meecham returned her frown. “Well, he didn’t. He wanted me to try and get her out of jail right away.”