He puts down his beer and leans against the wall at the back of the patio. It’s a nice crowd, not too big, maybe twenty people or so. Friends and relatives. They try to get together a few times every year either before or just after the high season. People talk about family, their jobs, or the aggravation of summer visitors, but they rarely ask him about his work. He understands. People he’s close to know enough not to ask him to remember stuff he’d rather not talk about most of the time.
He looks again at Karen. She’s in animated discussion with one of Rollo’s neighbors.
She’s very beautiful and for the millionth time he wonders why she picked him. She could have had any guy. And if he’s so lucky, then he wonders why he was so attracted to Brigid. Or even weirder why he was attracted to the picture of Heidi when he knew she was very probably dead.
He tries not to think what he might have done if Brigid had really come on to him instead of just playing a role. He tries not to think of the guilt he might have created, and even now, knowing that she was playing a game to prove a point, he feels guilty for even having these thoughts. And he hadn’t even done anything. He shakes his head imperceptibly and reaches for the beer. He takes a sip then puts it back down. Too warm.
He leans back against the building and looks up at the top of trees on the edge of the property. He muses that while sex maybe a very strong drive, the actual act can never take too long. But guilt can last forever. He shudders. With him it would. Happy he’s never been unfaithful or even close.
Oh, there was the time shortly after their marriage when he answered a call about a possible prowler. He hadn’t been on the force very long and was working the eleven to seven Montauk shift one night when a late call came in about a prowler.
“Better get over there just to be sure,” said his dispatcher’s voice, with a film of lilt atop his normal crankiness.
It was a small cottage at the top of Tuthill Road up past the lobster store, but in January everything was flat-out quiet. Even the sound of his cruiser seemed to splinter the night. She answered the unlocked door, a fortyish woman with long straight black hair and an oversized nose on an otherwise average face. The only unordinary thing about her was a barely closed bathrobe.
“The noise came from in there,” she said, and pointed to a room behind her.
He moved ahead and found himself in a small bedroom. He moved to the window and checked that it was locked. It was.
“No problem here.”
When he turned she had one foot up and resting on the still-made bed, but her robe had become a bit undone. He had a clear view of her upper thigh and a dark patch beyond. Above her waist he had an even better glimpse of one rather large breast and an erect pink nipple. He took a deep breath, moved back through the front door, and didn’t turn around till he was halfway down the porch steps.
“Best keep that door locked,” was all he said, barely looking at her.
Even before he got into the cruiser, he felt his heart hammering away and the sweat on the back of his shirt. He reported in that everything was quiet. When dispatch answered, “You’ve done a real quick check,” amid background laughter. He knew he’d been had. Seems they set up all the rookies with this one nympho. But he laughed about it with them later and there’d never been anything close since then. And that was twelve years ago.
He’d been innocent then and he’s innocent now, but a seed of guilt still runs through his brain about the way his body reacted back there at Brigid’s house. He knows it’s stupid and if he told Karen, she’d probably laugh at him, but he still decides it’s better not to tell her. What’s the point? Someone once told him about a Playboy magazine article years ago where Jimmy Carter admitted that he’d lusted after other women in his heart, but never did anything. If a born-again guy like Carter can own up, then why is he so bothered? He wants the whole issue to go away. Maybe it will by next week when he has Brigid meet everyone involved. Then she’ll go back to Europe and the idea will crawl away. He remembers something else. No one’s gotten back to him about setting up a meeting with the good doctor Stern. He pulls a notepad from his pocket and jots down a reminder to call Bennett, who’s acting as liaison with NYPD.
He moves to the large tub of cold drink cans floating in icy water and chooses a Diet Coke. Just then Karen appears with two paper plates overflowing with steak, corn, and salad.
She gestures to one of the tables where he sees Kevin already busy biting into a burger between yapping with his cousins about whatever. A nice normal American weekend afternoon, he thinks and smiles at the simplicity of it all. In this little setting, they’re a million miles away from a missing, likely murdered, woman. It never ceases to amaze him how his work and its emphasis on the unexpected negative aspect of human nature runs so close and yet so far from ordinary behavior. Today’s optician could turn out to be tomorrow’s axe murderer. At least that’s the kind of issue they talked about at length in the criminal psychology course he’d once taken.
“You were deep in thought over there. Anything you want to share?” asks Karen.
“Just that I love you,” he says, meaning every word.
The next day he gets a call from Bennett.
“They can’t find Dr. Stern.”
Bennett’s voice seems hoarse, almost fragile. Wisdom hopes he hasn’t started smoking again.
“What’s that supposed to mean? Did they try the hospital?”
“That’s something else. Seems he’s been suspended. His performance had dropped off the charts in the past few months, and they must have felt he’d become a risk to patients. They certainly weren’t looking for a bunch of lawsuits down the road. Anyway, he hasn’t been in the hospital for well over a month.”
“Friends? Colleagues at the hospital? Family?”
“Nothing there either. He was a classic loner. Some of the other residents didn’t even know he was gone, but maybe they work such crazy hours that it’s not the kind of thing you notice right away.”
“Think someone scared him off?”
“Don’t see how unless the sister got in touch with him and told him to beat it.”
“That’s not possible. She doesn’t even know who he is.”
“You sure about that?”
“Hell, Brigid hated Heidi’s guts.”
“I asked if you were sure.”
Wisdom pauses a second before he affirms.
“Okay then. We’ll have to start looking and assume it’s just coincidence. When were you going to spring the fake Heidi?”
“This week, I hope. I’ve already lined up a meeting with Posner. Welbrook’s just about off the radar screen for now, so after Stern he’s the only one left, but all my money’s still on Stern.”
“That’s what I thought. Any chance of postponing until we’re sure everyone’s lined up?”
“Guess so. Don’t think Brigid’s going back for another two or three weeks.”
“Then let her know we might have to delay. In the meantime we’ll try to see if we can check into his background a bit more. He used to live upstate. That’s where he said he went on the day she disappeared. Remember. That’s when the mileage clocked the same as to East Hampton.”