“Not really, no.”
“I understand.” she responded with a tone that seemed caring enough if you used your imagination. “Emotions are difficult. Believe me, I know. I’ve never really had them. And having never had them, I never really saw the need. But everyone else seems very confused by them.”
“What’s it like?” Vivika asked. “What’s it like not liking anything?”
“Oh, I like plenty of things, dear.” Dragon Lady laughed strangely. “Granted, I may not like the things that you—or your friends, or even my coworkers—like, but I do get enjoyment out of my hobbies.”
“And what are your hobbies?” Vivika asked, before wishing she hadn’t.
“Oh, probably nothing that you would be interested in.”
“Oh.” Vivika said, secretly thankful that she had been spared an actual answer. It was probably something like pulling the legs off of insects, or people.
“I suppose my greatest hobby is people. I like figuring out what makes them tick.”
“I don’t want to know how you find that out.” Vivika said with a note of disgust.
“Oh, I’m sure Lena has told you all about that.” Dragon Lady half-laughed again. “But that’s only part of it—that’s only how I get the truth out of people when we really need to know every ounce of it. In truth, everyone is constantly lying. They might not know they are lying when they do it, but they are.”
“How do you mean?”
“Every time someone says anything to someone, they are saying three things. The first is what they are supposed to be saying: ‘How are you?’ for instance, or ‘I’m doing fine’; the sorts of things people are socially obliged to say. The second thing they say is what their body language communicates: whether or not they actually want to have that conversation, or whether or not they are wanting to have it with the person they are having it with.
“But the third thing they say is said through how they lace the rest of the conversation… subtle word-choices or changes in direction that give away what is really on their mind. For instance, you are trying to make conversation—that’s the lie. You don’t want to make conversation. Or more specifically, you don’t want to make it with me. Yet you persist in trying to. You are persisting in trying to because it’s socially required, and you know that I understand that—that’s the lie. The truth is, you are only trying to talk to me because I terrify you, and you are hoping that befriending me in any capacity will make me not want to hurt you. You are only using the social requirement of conversation as the excuse to do so.”
“I suppose that’s honest enough.” Vivika admitted, before asking, “Are you going to hurt me?”
“There’s the lie.” Dragon Lady responded. “You aren’t asking if I’m going to hurt you, because you don’t want to know. In truth, you have already decided that I won’t, because that’s the only outcome that your nervous-system will allow you to consider. The other lie is that sheepish tone you take. You don’t feel sheepish; you feel weak, powerless and unsure about the future. The truth is that you are trying to sound small and inconsequential, so that I won’t feel some sense of triumph if I do decide to hurt you… but will instead choose to enslave you, trading your capitulation for the promise of minimal harm.”
“So, you aren’t going to, then?”
“Again, another lie—you aren’t asking, you are confirming. You are trying to steer the conversation in a direction that confirms I won’t hurt you. The problem is, even if I say I won’t, that doesn’t mean I won’t. But that’s another lie you are trying to tell yourself, because that is—once again—the only outcome that your brain will allow you to consider. You logically know that I could change my mind… but you are lying to yourself in the hopes of finding temporary solace in the ludicrous proposition that I will be a woman of my word.
“For all you know, I might lull you into a false sense of security and then do terrible things to you later. You don’t know, and you never will know. The truth is that, until you are completely out of my clutches, you will forever wonder when I’m finally going to hurt you. The truth is that you will always live in fear of that, and the truth is that I enjoy that.”
“Why do you enjoy that?”
“There’s the lie—the question as to why I enjoy that.” Dragon Lady said. “You already know why I do, and you don’t care why I do. The real reason you ask me that is because you realize that it’s socially unacceptable for me to enjoy the things that I do, and you are hoping that by asking in the tone you used, I will somehow spontaneously come to grips with an understanding of how wrong it is.”
“So, everything I say is a lie?” Vivika responded, annoyed.
“That’s another lie—you don’t believe that everything you say is a lie at all. What you are actually saying is that you don’t like the direction the conversation is going, and you want me to know that.”
“You are incredibly difficult to talk to.” Vivika said, sitting back in her seat with her arms crossed.
“And that, my dear, is the first honest thing you have said to me this entire conversation.”
“Well, it’s true.”
“And that’s another lie!” Dragon Lady laughed. “You didn’t say that to confirm anything—you are saying that because you are hoping I will realize that it’s a bad thing. But it doesn’t negate anything else you have said. If I were you, I would recognize and appreciate that you are finally having a conversation with an honest person—someone that has no reason whatsoever to lie to you. I would use the rest of this conversation wisely, and try to get information that might actually be useful to you. Because you and I won’t be sitting in this booth for very long, and the next place that we go might be any number of places… some of them terrible.”
“Are you going to hurt me?” Vivika asked again, staring the Dragon Lady in the face.
“Yes,” she responded blankly. “I’m going to hurt you so very badly.”
The touring van pulled up outside of the venue and parked. It was a building much like the last, with a beat-up, brick-laid facade. Crumbling pillars were plastered with band flyers and beer labels, and the walls were covered in layers upon layers of graffiti. The windows were cracked with millions of pock-marks from god-knows-what smashing into them on particularly youthful weekends, and the ground was littered with cigarette-butts and the stomach contents of parties long since concluded. It all smelled atrocious, like teen spirit mixed with morning shame; yet Lena loved it. Oh, and the billboard that brightly displayed, “Tonight only! Madeline Dangerbunny and The Dead Weights!” certainly didn’t hurt. Although it did raise almost as many questions as it answered.
“I guess I’m somewhat at a loss.” Lena said as they both stepped out. “Did I just join a band?”
“Maybe you did and maybe you didn’t.” Patrick responded, apathetically. “Just do whatever the hell you people do, and stick around. I have business to attend to.”
“What sort of business is that?” she asked.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“Yes, as a matter of fact I would.” she replied impudently.
“As it so happens, I’m meeting with Matt. We are going to put some cards on the table and see who has the better hand.”
“What cards could you possibly have?” Lena scoffed.
“Oh, more cards than you might think—the least of which being Vivika.”
Lena stifled a response. There wasn’t a chance in hell he knew anything about the secrets she and Vivika shared, but it still irritated her all the same. She knew Patrick was just trying to get under her skin and, she knew that he was lying. Something about the way he said the things that he said belied his false confidence in the situation and his plans. She could see right through his false bravado now, and this made her want to press the issue even more.