Laughing weakly, he added, “Prostitutes generally do the trick for most diplomats, bodyguards, and aides, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. But I think you will find that powerful people can already buy sex. It’s the kind of sex they can’t readily get that they are truly looking for. And the more powerful they are, the stranger their fantasies end up being. I’ve seen some things that would make your blood curdle…”
“But Patrick, why did they… your coworkers… make you do that?”
“I don’t know, Lena.” he replied, with resignation, “I don’t know.”
“Well then, what…”
Lena was interrupted by the muffled sounds of a man screaming just outside the door of the suite, along with another man shouting, “Shut your mouth!” Just then, the front door slammed open, banging into the wall behind it with force. It was a much older man who was screaming bloody murder as he stumbled inside. Although perhaps ‘shoved’ may have more accurately described the situation. As the scene focused before Lena, she flushed with rage. There he was: Lord Piggy himself. He was escorted by Wart-face, who looked absolutely murderous. Lord Piggy was shove-marched into the room with his pants and underwear hanging around his ankles. With every waddling step, his personal parts wiggled and bounced. Somehow, he appeared even fatter unclothed and the sweat and indignant expression on his red face made the man look almost comical. Lena would have found him comical under other circumstances, but she was all too aware of what was likely in store for this pathetic disgrace of a man.
As she watched, Red-hat and Wart-face shoved Lord Piggy into one of the metal folding-chairs, forcing him down and roughly binding him with coarse rope.
“This is an outrage.” he shouted, “I am a senior diplomatic official of France. I demand to know…”
“You are a traitor to your country.” Dragon Lady said plainly, barely even looking in his direction from across the room. “You are a drunk, a boy-fucker, a conspirator and a rapist. You are no friend of France and you are no friend to the GDR. We have no reason to recognize you as anything more worthwhile.”
“When word gets out…” he threatened.
“When word gets out that you took a trip to East Germany simply to abuse young boys, you mean.” she interrupted, casually.
“I’m quite certain I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lord Piggy stated indignantly.
“Look,” Fancy-man broke in, “I’m just going to cut this short. It’s been a long night for a lot of us. And thanks to you, I have an agent that now needs medical attention. So, I’m going to make this easy.”
“I don’t have to listen to a word of this!” Lord Piggy shouted.
“You do, and you will.”
“You are nothing to me! I am a senior diplomatic official of the sovereign nation of France, and I demand that you release me this very instant! Or I…”
“Just give me two seconds.” Dragon Lady interrupted them both, as she grabbed a few items off a small desk nearby, before walking over to Lord Piggy. They looked like thick, sharp bobby-pins attached to long wires—wires that ran to an ominous looking box on the desk. Holding the wired bobby-pins in front of Lord Piggy’s face, she said mater-of-factly, “I’m going to attach these to your nipples. Then, I’m going to electrocute you for the rest of the night. I’m going to do this because you won’t shut up, and I’m sick of you interrupting.”
With this, she ripped open Lord Piggy’s shirt forcefully, grabbed one of the objects and began moving it towards his chest.
“No! You… you can’t! When the Ambassador hears…” he shouted. His protests were abruptly cut off, however, as Dragon Lady pinched one of his nipples and roughly threaded a bobby pin through. He shrieked in an octave so pathetic, Lena almost felt disgusted. Almost.
“Alright!” he cried out. “A-alright! I’m sorry! I’ll…” Dragon Lady ignored him as she grabbed the other nipple and threaded another bobby pin through. He shrieked again, although this time it seemed curiously higher-pitched.
“I’m going to start on a medium setting, I think.” she said in a sickeningly sweet voice, “We’ll give you fifteen minutes, then see how much we should turn it up.”
“I’m sorry! I apologize! Please… I apologize!” Lord Piggy began to cry.
“Anita,” Dragon Lady addressed one of the trashy ladies, “would you be a dear and flip the switch over there?”
“Please! I’ll do anything… anything, I swear it!”
“Anita, the switch.”
“No, damnit, please! Please.” Lord Piggy sobbed, crying like a baby.
“Are you going to shut up?” Red-hat cut in.
“Yes! Yes, I swear it!”
“Are you sure you swear it?”
“Yes, for God sake, I promise!!!”
“…because I’ve seen her work on someone for days, and I’ll be honest with you, once you leave here, back to that shithole you call home, I still have to work with her. And she’s going to be really upset with me if I take away her plaything.”
“Please don’t let her… please….” Lord Piggy, who had by now been reduced to a mewling sack of blubber, hyperventilated.
“Not one word.” Red-hat menaced. “Not one single damn word. If you interrupt any one of us, we’ll make sure it’s a long week for you. And those bobby pins can attach anywhere.” Red-hat punctuated this by taking a quick look down at Lord Piggy’s piggly offerings, “…anywhere.”
The look on Lord Piggy’s face combined with the wideness of his eyes, telling a story that the sounds he wanted to make couldn’t have done a better job at communicating. Lena was almost disappointed that he had so quickly silenced himself; not a hic, nor a sob… not anything.
Fancy-man took this opportunity to walk over to the desk and grab Dragon Lady’s fake tabloid cover. He then walked back over to Lord Piggy and stuck it in his face.
“This is you.” he said, pointing. “See over there on the bed? That’s the other guy.”
Patrick overheard this, and gave a half-hearted wave while exhaustedly shouting, “Up yours, buddy!”
Lord Piggy didn’t respond vocally. He simply looked at the paper. He examined it for almost an entire minute before closing his eyes. Moment by moment brought more realization to his countenance. Soon, he began nodding his head repeatedly in utter defeat and resignation. He knew he was caught. And he knew if he tried to lie his way out of it, he would suffer for it. So, he simply sat there, eyes closed, nodding his head up and down.
“Look over there.” Fancy-man said, pointing to the corner where the tired man in the unbuttoned polo sat typing away on one of the bulky computers. “We have audio of the entire encounter, and transcripts are being produced right now.” He then pointed to the desk, where Lord Piggy’s briefcase sat. “There, that’s your briefcase. We have the documents that were inside, thanks to your aide who decided to be otherwise occupied.”
Cackling, Dragon Lady began opening and closing an imaginary briefcase and taunting, “Stasi pricks! Stasi pricks!”, and Lord Piggy went a shade redder.
“Now,” Fancy-man continued, “You will agree to a relationship with our organization and become our perfect little French mole—you will go where we want you to go, say what we want you to say, and hold whatever opinion we tell you to have when we have one. You will spy for us, toe the line for us, and be our little whipping boy when we need you to be. Do this, and you will be richly rewarded with our silence. Don’t do this…” Fancy-man began tapping the page again, “And this won’t just get published… we’ll make sure your wife and children see. Do you understand?”