“On second thought, perhaps I would only bring it this far. I am rather exhausted after watching you.”
Lena felt a slight twinge of excitement as Hans crouched down next to her and wrapped her up in the jacket.
“Oh? So, after watching everything I was doing, you are the one who is tired?” Lena joked.
“Well yes, of course. You were just loafing around up there, goofing off while I did all the work of watching you!”
“You bastard!” Lena shrieked, as she smacked him playfully on the arm.
“Hey, you asked!” Hans yelled as he jumped up, dramatically rubbing his arm as if it would soon fall off.
As they continued, playfully bantering back and forth with verbal jabs, what had seemed to be idle flirting became… well, actual flirting. Over the past month, Hans and Lena had found that they had more than just a few things in common: both had terrible fathers, and both had sickly mothers. Both also almost had their ailing mothers removed to a state-assisted living house. This meant that both her and Hans almost ended up in a foster house. Since this was practically a death sentence in the GDR, both had decided to take care of their mothers as best they could and lie about how healthy they actually were. Truly, the only major difference between the two of them was that Hans’s father had made it across the wall (and never returned), whereas Lena’s had drunk himself to death. Both Hans and Lena had suffered immensely over their respective losses and both had found solace in the anger of Lena’s music.
Until recently, however, Lena had never developed anything more than a casual friendship with Hans, or anyone for that matter. She was a creature of solitude; essentially uncomfortable outside of her natural habitat, which men definitely were. Really, she never knew what to say with the opposite sex. Boys like Hans were just too rough and too loud. Sure, Lena was loud onstage, but most guys she knew were loud all the time. Maybe this was fine for other girls, but she was not one to be pushed and shoved about in some sort of undeveloped mating dance between morons. Lena had a ‘space’ about her and she wanted it intact when she was out and about. It was all so easy with Hans, though. He had such a natural, magnanimous charm. And that chin.
“So then, are you finished with your damn smoke yet?” Hans interrupted her musings.
“I was thinking of lighting another one, actually,” Lena stated brazenly.
“Well then, light me one as well!”
“But you don’t smoke Hans,” Lena said suspiciously. She had seen Hans attempt it before. Even the coughing fit that had ensued was adorable.
“Tonight, after that performance, I think I shall.”
Lena handed him a smoke after lighting it for him. He took one drag and failed miserably. Almost immediately his face turned all the colors of the rainbow as his eyes watered, cheeks puffed, and chest heaved. Realizing that his masculinity was now at stake, he attempted to take another. He leaned far back, splaying one arm behind, and held the smoke with the other as if brandishing some sort of weapon. Yet both drags ended equally as bad with Hans coughing and laughing, and Lena laughing right along with him.
“This… cough… this is really tasty… cough…”
“You don’t have to smoke it, you, big showoff,” Lena chastised.
“No, I… cough… I mean it. Really… cough… makes me feel… cough… alive!”
“Oh yes, so alive, I can tell by the coughing! Why are you still trying?!” By now, Lena was laughing uproariously as Hans doubled over, feigning an excruciating pain.
“Because it… cough… just feels so good in my hands!… cough… and the taste, Lena!”
“What? It tastes like what?”
“It tastes like… cough… grandparents…!”
“It tastes like what?!” Lena giggled.
“Yes, yes… it tastes like an old leather jacket that has been left out in the rain. It’s musty and dry at the same time, but all the parts that should be musty are dry and all the parts that should be dry are musty. Please… I must have more of this enchanting taste!”
Lena giggled, and Hans coughed. Despite the chill, the energy that he exuded warmed Lena’s body as well as her soul. He was so very nice and so very… just, very—in all the right ways. It was hard to describe. He was such an, ugh, boy; ridiculous and silly without any capacity for serious thought whatsoever. He was so ‘in the way’ (as all guys were) that his every movement was made to seem… just ugh! Hans was such a beautifully frustrating and charming creature. She couldn’t even imagine how girls were supposed to have animals like this tromping around the place, being bad at smoking cigarettes and trying to do it anyways.
Lena should have caught herself staring at him in such a way. But perhaps she was glad that she hadn’t, as Hans seemed to have picked up on her look. Almost nervously he returned it by sitting right back down next to her. Only this time he was much closer.
Familienkreis
“Help me! Someone please help me! I’m dying!”
The voice of Lena’s mother was crying out in a fevered timbre as Lena walked through the front door. Still, Lena didn’t speed her pace. It was like this every evening and had been for as long as she could remember. Besides, Lena was in too good a mood. The cries of her mother echoed throughout the apartment as Lena casually strolled into the living room and took a moment to compose herself. She needed just a tiny moment to herself before completely switching gears.
Her mother had always been odd. “Tainted,” Lena’s father had even called her in one drunken stupor years before, “tainted by the devil… that woman has lost her wits!” He would blame much of his drinking on her, although that was probably a lie. He had been an alcoholic since long before the age of drinking—long before Lena’s mother had deteriorated. Ever since Lena’s father had seen fit to drink himself to death, however, she had become much worse.
Dropping her coat and bookbag before walking into the small kitchen, she took a brief moment to put on some tea. The apartment was small—even by GDR standards—but it was well lived-in. It was styled with nearly-matching furniture, a few nice blue vases (with dying plants in them) and some pictures of the countryside that made the living room feel comfortable. The kitchen was also well-furnished with all the necessities, along with a precious few Western extras. It even had a few American imports that Lena had acquired during the infamous mad-dash sales that the entire neighborhood turned out too. She was hardly a chef, though, and most of the appliances sat collecting more dust than crumbs these days.
“Alright… it’s time,” she thought to herself. Trying to brush away the general annoyance, Lena turned on all the lights in the small apartment one by one. First the living room and then the hallway (so her mother could see her approaching) and then the bedroom so she wouldn’t be surprised by a face she didn’t recognize.
“Oh God… c-can… can someone… anyone h-help me?!” the frail voice called.
“You’re not dying, Mother.” Lena said in as calm a voice as she could manage, given her general frustration. “You are right here in our apartment. You are just fine. You only had a bad dream.”