“Patrick.” Vivika said plainly.
“What about him?” Lena said quickly, before thinking better of it. “How does she know… she knew Victor. She had no idea who Patrick was.”
“Patrick did this.”
“You don’t…” Lena stuttered, “you mean ‘Victor’?”
“No.” Vivika said angrily, “Not Victor. I mean Patrick. Fuck him and all his stupid spy shit. I’m sick of all the mind games, a-and… and all the intrigue, and… and all the everything. I’ve known Patrick forever, and it was always bad. Now it’s just worse, and…”
Oh, this was bad. This was very, very bad. Lena tried to fathom all of the terrible implications. Patrick couldn’t have… but he… he had done… but that wasn’t possible! Lena was the only one who knew the true identity of… but… and if it was true—which it obviously had to be—what did that mean? Everything had already changed after she had met with Grandfather. Everything had changed infinitely more now that she had arrived home to see Vivika. But now that the new reality of Patrick had dawned, it made it all dangerous, and scary, and sick, and confusing.
“I’m sick of lying to you, Lena.” Vivika sniffed, “I was sick of it long before we had even met. At first, it was fun. But then it wasn’t… and then we became friends… and now…”
“What are you talking about?” Lena said, startled. “What are you sick of? I’m confused.”
“It’s so complicated! Everything is so complicated!”
“Trust me, Vivika, I know how complicated things can get.”
“No, you don’t!” Vivika started crying once again. “You have no idea! You have no idea what it’s like having to keep so many secrets from so many people… having to lie to this person, and then lie to that person, only to find out that they already know. To have everyone holding everything over your head, and spying on you… to know that the world is so big, and so scary, and so awful in such horrible ways that no one can ever possibly understand…”
“Yes, I do,” Lena stated slowly, trying carefully to allude to things without saying them. “Trust me. I know what you are talking about.”
“How could you?!” Vivika said angrily, as she sat up, throwing the blanket off of herself. “Look at me, Lena! Look at my face! They will kill me if I talk.”
“They will kill me if I talk too, Vivika!” Lena said just as angrily.
“Who will kill you?!”
“I can’t tell you!”
“Why the hell not?!!”
“Well, why can’t you tell me?!!” Lena said, incredulously.
“Because I can’t!”
For minutes, the two stared at each other. This was absolutely ludicrous. Whatever the other had going on, well… it seemed to be awfully similar in complexity, regardless of whether or not it was similar in essence. Both had worked themselves into a corner, and neither could find the way out. But one thing was very clear: the second someone had done what he had done to Vivika, they had both been absolved of the requirement of silence. Still, they just stared at each other angrily, neither willing to make the first move.
“Do you remember back in West Berlin?” Lena finally started.
“What the hell of it?”
“You told me that when we were finally safe, and when we were able to be honest with each other… we would be.”
“Yes, of course I remember.”
“Well, it doesn’t look like that’s ever going to happen, now is it? I could be dead tonight. And from the looks of it, it doesn’t look like you are that much better off. So, we might as well come clean with each other, because we have to figure something out.”
“I…” Vivika started carefully, “I don’t know if I can trust you. I don’t think I can trust anyone anymore.”
“I can’t trust you either!” Lena laughed through the tears that were now openly streamed down her cheeks. “I know for a fact that I can’t trust you or anyone else. And I’m just about done giving a shit. If I can’t trust anyone in this world, than I might as well just trust you anyway and let the chips fall where they may. Because life isn’t worth living without trust, and if I have to pick one person to trust, it would be you… because you’re the only one I know who’s worse off than me.”
“Gee, thanks,” Vivika sniffed sarcastically, but she laughed all the same. “I guess I agree.”
“Vivika,” Lena started with far less hesitation than she expected, “I work for the HVA and the CIA.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“You did what?!” Grandfather howled at Patrick.
“I… I’m…” Patrick stuttered as he dodged a book flying at his head.
“Don’t dodge, you little ingrate!” he screamed as he picked up another one, “Don’t you ever dodge things I throw at you!”
The safe house was unnaturally disheveled as Patrick and Dragon Lady stood in front of the angry old man. Patrick’s Grandfather was well-known to be disorganized, preferring to keep any necessary information within stumbling reach. This, however, was just purely messy. He had obviously been up all night ransacking the place. He only did that when things were truly out of sorts—and the fact that he was now throwing things, well, Patrick had only seen this two other times. He knew it was just a foreshadowing of things to come, and it was all her fault—that grinning, psychopathic bitch who, for once, seemed somewhat afraid.
“Look, it’s…” Patrick attempted to appease the old man, before a travel guide hit him full in the face.
He dropped to the floor, covering the pain that began to gather right under his left eye. It hurt, but not nearly as bad as it was going to hurt in a few moments, and not nearly as bad as his life was about to hurt. As much as he hated his little HVA squad, he still hated disappointing Grandfather. And this wasn’t just disappointment, this was betrayal. This was a crime of the highest order with the wizened old man, just as it was with his beloved organization. And he didn’t know what the outcome of such a thing would be. He just knew it was going to be bad.
“You know why I throw things at you, don’t you?” Grandfather asked, desolately.
“Because I…” Patrick attempted to answer, before another travel guide hit him in the chest.
“Shut your mouth when I ask you rhetorical questions!”
“That didn’t sound very rhetorical.” Dragon Lady admitted.
“That is entirely beside the point, you evil bitch!” Grandfather yelled at her, “Why are you still here?”
“Because I’m the one who saw him.” she responded proudly, completely ignoring the fact that her case officer didn’t want her there.
“…and?!” Grandfather asked, annoyed.
“Well, I figured that you would want me here to confirm or deny anything he said.”
“Did you tell me everything?” Grandfather asked.
“Of course, I did.”
“Then if I already know everything you know, why would I need you here to help me make an assessment?”
“Well… because…” she said, and for once, Patrick thought he detected uncertainty in her voice.