Shaking my head in denial, I stressed to her, “But it was me, I was the one who—”
“Addison, he is your teacher. You are his student. I don’t care what you think you did. He should have said no, end of story.”
“No!” I cried out. She was making him sound like a monster. “That’s not the end of the story!”
Grayson spoke up. “Addison, please.”
“What?” I demanded, starting to feel my panic rise.
“She’s right,” he told me quietly, and it was as if someone had reached in and tore out my heart.
“Of course I am!” Miss Shrieve hissed, as if she felt she had to talk quietly or get in trouble for conspiracy.
“Not about everything,” he clarified. “But she is right that you are my student, and I should have waited. I should have waited for you.”
“Are you listening to yourself?” my coach asked in a way that implied he was insane. “Is this because of your father, Grayson? Were you…I don’t know, looking for comfort?”
Both of us remained silent as she grappled for a plausible excuse.
“Oh, I see. This has been going on longer than that.” She paused for a minute and then sucked in a quick breath. “Did you…” She trailed off and then tried again. “Addison...your lip...”
A murderous look crossed Grayson’s face. “God no, Helene! I’m not a fucking monster.”
Taken aback by Grayson’s outburst, it took me a minute to react, but it was time Miss Shrieve knew the whole truth. Since she thought she knew everything, at least I could exonerate him of this.
“My father hit me. That wasn’t the first time. It was just the first time he did it where you could see.”
For a moment, she seemed to soften and in slipped the one emotion I never handled well—pity. “Oh, Addison, why didn’t you tell someone?”
I turned to Grayson, who stood beside me looking utterly shell-shocked, and then I glanced back at her.
“I did.”
This was not going well. Fuck.
I could feel both pairs of eyes on me, and all I could think was—this is it, it’s all over.
“You told him? A man who’s been taking advantage of you?”
“No. It’s not like that,” Addison tried to defend, but it was no use.
Helene was only seeing this one way, and it was the way I should have seen it—black-and-white. For her, there was no immoral shade of grey.
“Yes, it is, Addison.” Looking back to me, she informed me in a voice full of disgust, “You have to understand, I’m going to report this.”
I rubbed my forehead, stressed, and then swallowed. Yes, I understood but fuck…
“One day.”
“What?” she snapped, and I didn’t dare look away as I begged for the first time in my life.
“Give me one day. I’ll turn myself in tomorrow.”
Her eyes darted to Addison, but I didn’t dare.
“Why?”
Trying to think of a good excuse, I clung to my dead father once again, and lied—that which is done out of love is always beyond good and evil. I understand.
Would he understand this? Were my thoughts good or evil? I didn’t know anymore.
“I need to finish clearing up some financial matters with my father’s estate. Sign some paperwork, get it squared away before whatever happens, happens.”
Relenting, she told me, “One day. That’s it. If I don’t see you here by 3 p.m. tomorrow, I’ll report you myself. And stay away from her, you hear me?” She took a step away and said, “Addison, come with me.”
I felt Addison’s hand brush my arm and I nodded. Yes…go with Helene. She’ll protect you from me.
Or was she protecting me from Addison? I didn’t know anymore.
I was starting to think that as wrong as we were for one another, we were also the only two people that were perfectly suited for the other.
“Don’t do this, not to protect me. You did nothing wrong,” she told me, her blue eyes full of tears.
That was the problem. I’d done everything wrong. As she moved farther away from me, I had nothing I could say to comfort her because no matter what she wanted, the wheels were in motion. Nothing could stop the inevitable from happening.
There was no escaping it—my crimes had finally caught up to my passion.
Present…
“She wouldn’t listen to me.”
The silence is smothering as tears blur my eyes, just like they did that day.
“Who, Helene?”
“Yes,” I whisper, remembering how I felt when she took me away from Grayson that afternoon. Helpless, heartbroken, and at the same time—furious.
“What would you have told her if you could?” Doc’s question pulls me from my memories.
“That it was my fault. That he didn’t want what happened.”
Doc shakes his head from side to side in disagreement. “But that’s a lie.” Again, the silence stretches between us. “Isn’t it Addy?”
I swallow and blink back my tears. “He didn’t even know he wanted it until I…”
“What, made him see you?” Doc suggests.
“Yes.”
“I’m pretty sure he’d tell you differently.”
“And how would you know?” I snap, my sadness beginning to overwhelm me and alter my mood to one of anger.
“I don’t. Not for certain. But why would a man—a sensible, seemingly good man—do what he did, unless he wanted to?”
“Stop talking in circles!” I yell, jumping up from my seat and balling my fists.
Sizing me up, Doc asks with infuriating calm. “Is that what I’m doing?”
“Yes!”
“No, Addy, I’m trying to make you see that it wasn’t your fault.”
“What?” I ask, this time laughing humorlessly.
“You once told me that you didn’t want to be pitied because of what everyone else thinks, but I’ve never been overly concerned with what everyone else thinks. Maybe…you should be pitied for what you think.”
I close my eyes, trying to block him out, but he continues.
“You think you’re alone because of what you did. No. Uh-uh. You’re alone because of what you didn’t do.”
Opening my eyes, I wait for whatever he is going to say.
“You didn’t walk away.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Past…
Tick, tick, tock.
One day. The more I thought about his words, the more disturbed I became.
One day and then what?
After Miss Shrieve walked me back to her office, she asked me a ton of questions, none of which I answered. Instead, I sat there thinking about Grayson.
Numb—I felt numb.
“When did this start, Addison?”
“How did he approach you?”
“What he did was wrong. He should never have gotten involved with you. Did he ever hurt you?”
“I need to call your parents.”
The last comment had my head snapping up and my eyes meeting hers.
“No, not yet,” I begged.
“Addy, I can’t—”
“You told him you’d give him a day,” I reminded her.