They gave me Doc.
Past…
I sat with Miss Shrieve as she dialed my mom’s number and pressed the phone to her ear, and before I even thought about it, I was up and reaching for the door.
I could hear her shouting my name as I sprinted down the hall toward the exit. I didn’t stop as I pulled my bag around and yanked out my keys.
I had no idea what I was doing as I jumped inside the car and started the engine. As I left the parking lot, I saw my coach come to a stop at the gate in my rearview mirror.
My blood was pumping with adrenaline as I weaved through the traffic in front of me.
I couldn’t let this happen. Not to him.
I had to tell him how sorry I was and tell him to go, to run. He needed to leave—now.
Making it to his house in record time, I got out of the car and ran to the front door, my breath coming fast as I pounded on it and waited.
I knew we didn’t have much time.
Miss Shrieve would’ve already called my parents by now—and possibly the principal at this point.
I rapped my knuckles on his door again, and heard the locks click and the handle turn. Standing back, I waited as he pulled the door open, and when he came into view, I couldn’t help but launch myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I didn’t realize I’d been holding my breath until his arms embraced me, and I exhaled in relief.
I touched his face, running the back of my hand down his jaw. “We need to leave.”
“What?” he asked, pulling away. “No, Addison. I can’t leave.”
“Yes, we both can. We can drive away. I can dye my hair. You could shave yours. Then we can ditch the truck somewhere and—”
“Addison. Addison,” he cut in, smoothing a hand down over my hair. “I can’t do that. Then what? We live on the run? No, I’ve done enough. I can’t do that to you.”
Loosening his hold, he stepped back and asked in a gentle, but firm tone, “What are you doing here? You heard Helene. You’re supposed to stay away from me and tomorrow I’m going to—”
“What? Turn yourself in? Go to jail? Do you know how ridiculous that is? I wanted this!”
Running his hands through his hair, Grayson spun away from me and cursed. “Fuck, Addison! It doesn’t matter! No one will care. It’s over! This…this is over!”
I bit down on my lip to keep back the cry that was threatening to break free. His words were harsh and cut deeper than any knife ever could.
“Turn around,” I implored.
“No.”
My eyes roamed over his powerful body and rested on his shoulders, as broad as ever. But this time, instead of offering strength and safety, they looked formidable, as if he was blocking me out. And he was.
“You should go.”
I grabbed his arm and jerked him around to face me. “Look at me!”
His eyes were glassy as he did what I asked, and seeing the emotion in them triggered my own tears to flow freely down my face.
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed, not knowing what else to say. “I’m so sorry.”
I did this. I destroyed this man.
His fingers trailed over my cheek and down under my chin. Tipping my face up to his, he pressed his mouth to mine and whispered, “I’m not.”
Sweet, she was so damn sweet as I touched my lips to hers, savoring the taste.
I cupped her cheeks and then slid my hands back into her soft hair as I deepened the kiss. She placed a palm on my chest, feeling the beat of my heart, and then she dug her fingers in.
I lifted my head, and she spoke the words I’d heard for the first time several weeks ago. “Meet me?”
Searching her eyes, I shook my head and she brought a finger to my lips.
“Please don’t let this be it. It can’t be. Meet me at Daniel’s. I’ll wait, Grayson—I’ll wait for you.”
I knew there was no way I could deny her—I nodded.
Somehow, some way, I would get to her.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Past…
That afternoon proved to be a lesson in torture.
After returning home, my parents sat me down and pretended to care, and they did that by asking a lot of uncomfortable and demeaning questions. They’d also done the one thing I wished they hadn’t—they had called Doc to be a part of their charade.
“Addison…” my mother began as she sat back on the couch. She smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles from her cream skirt and folded her hands in her lap. “Addison, we are trying to understand what happened with this…this teacher, Mr. McKendrick.”
Just hearing her say his name in a way that said she was repulsed made me want to spit nasty, ugly words at her. Instead, I lowered my eyes and refused to answer.
If they wanted answers, they’d get nothing from me.
As far as they were concerned, Mr. McKendrick existed only as my teacher.
“Addison—” my father started.
“Don’t,” I snapped. I had no problem cutting him off. How dare my loving father question me and my motives or Grayson’s for that matter?
Realizing that they were getting nowhere, Doc scooted to the edge of the couch and in a gentle voice said, “Addy?”
My eyes flicked to his and, again, I said nothing.
“It’s okay, Addy. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
I wish that were true, but the fact was, I’d done everything wrong.
Why couldn’t anyone see that?
Blame belonged to no one except me. This was entirely my fault.
Present…
Tomorrow is the day of my exam.
Sitting on my bed, I look around the small room that’s become my home these past thirty days and wonder how I will feel when I step outside the front doors.
No one has come to visit me while I’ve been here at Pine Groves—no one except Doc.
My mother signed me over and then left me here to heal, or more likely, to disappear. Either way, she’d made it more than clear she didn’t want to see me until I would no longer be an embarrassment to the family.
That won’t be a problem because I have no desire to ever see her again. I wonder how she feels in that big house all on her own since my father was booked and sent away for his abuse.
All of this stemmed from decisions she failed to make, like protecting her daughter from a father with a drinking problem and a strong arm.
I look at the photo on the wall and notice the edges beginning to curl. Every day it’s becoming a little more worn and broken, even as I’m getting stronger.
Soon, I’ll be strong enough to face whatever comes my way because in two days I will be free to start over.
Past…
I pulled the truck into the parking lot of the cemetery and looked at the time. In ten minutes it would be midnight.
Turning off the headlights, I took the keys from the ignition and bent down to rest my forehead on the steering wheel. I clutched it so tight I thought it would break, but all it did was provide something for me to hang onto as I started to fall apart.
The thought of them questioning me tomorrow over the nature of my relationship with Addison made me feel sick to my stomach. Yet, I knew it wasn’t the relationship but the lie I would tell them to cover it up that made me feel that way.
The disappointment I felt was only superseded by the fact that I believed my actions were justified.