The tension broke with a chuckle that went around the room, and they went back to studying Cal’s planned itinerary. Cal kept his expression light, but the mention of Catherine sent him into what was now a familiar thought spiral. He kept thinking about finding her in the archives, about the odd look on her face, confusion mixed with fear mixed with a strong sense of guilt. Guilt about what?
“Why does Nate get a pass on some of the experiments?” Kowalski looked up from the initial version of the schedule Cal had put together. She didn’t sound put out, just genuinely curious. “I don’t see him listed as often as the rest of us.”
“Perks of being the FAO’s best friend.” Nate grinned and nudged Cal with his foot.
“Come on, seriously?” Navarro still wasn’t good at recognizing a joke.
Commander Duffy spoke up from his seat on the windowsill. “No, not seriously, Zach. I’m guessing Dr. Royer here is going to be doing all sorts of experiments on us.”
“Extended artificial gravity followed by a year in a low-gravity setting; the physiological possibilities are a dream,” Nate agreed.
“Wait a minute,” Leah Morrison said. “Y’all aren’t planning to use any of us as some kind of control to see who winds up all weak and messed up when we land, are you?”
“Nah, it’d compromise mission efficiency,” Nate said, straight-faced.
He got the response he was looking for. “ ‘Mission efficiency!’ What the hell, man?” Morrison looked appalled.
Nate waved a hand. “Plus, there’s that whole ethics issue around human experimentation.”
Duffy cracked first and snickered.
“Yeah, yeah, very funny,” Morrison muttered, folding her arms.
“But I will be collecting data and doing analyses on how y’all are doing,” Nate said, dropping the act. “And if need be, altering the physical conditioning routines you’re each going to be following if it turns out we underestimated the performance drop. There’s no point in doing all the training now if you’re going to lose it on the trip there.”
“In a very real sense, maintaining your health and well-being is the central purpose of the entire mission,” Cal said. “We need to know if TRAPPIST-1f can support human life adequately. And for all our theorizing and testing and probing, the only way to confirm that is to send humans there and see. You’ve got one sort of bonus—you’re not the first. Whatever happened to Sagittarius I, it doesn’t seem like it was a direct result of the planet’s environment.
“I need you guys to understand something. If I think anything is going to endanger you—aside from normal mission risks—I will do everything in my power to fix it or stop the mission. You know me. I don’t back down when I know I’m right.”
Nate grinned. “You don’t back down when you’re wrong either, man.”
The rest of them laughed, and even Cal had to grin. “Then you know you’re in good hands.”
The meeting broke up shortly after that, but Nate hung back.
“You mean it?” Nate asked him once the office held just the two of them. “You really think everything’s kosher for us?”
Hating himself a little, Cal lied to his best friend. “I haven’t seen anything that proves otherwise. And believe me, I’m looking out for it.” He paused. “But… I’m glad you stayed behind. I need to pick your brain.”
“My brain is yours,” Nate said with a smile, and settled back onto the couch in Cal’s office, a battered old thing that had seen Cal through far too many late nights.
“I’m chasing something. It might be nothing.”
Nate rolled his eyes and folded his arms. “Oh brother, here we go again.”
“Nate. Humor me, okay? The doctors are assuming that Catherine Wells’s amnesia is the result of psychological trauma. What if it isn’t? What if it has a biological component? What sorts of things could cause that?”
Nate frowned. “No one’s considered this yet?”
“Not that I’ve heard.”
“Well, there are a lot of possibilities. Brain damage is the most likely,” Nate said first thing. “Lack of oxygen, dementia, a brain tumor…” He paused. “Doesn’t her mother have Alzheimer’s? I thought I heard that in the gossip mill.”
“Yeah, early-onset, too,” Cal said, “but Catherine’s not showing any other signs, and memory loss with Alzheimer’s doesn’t act this way. She’s had every scan imaginable, so we can rule out a brain tumor. Any other sorts of diseases?”
“Anything that causes inflammation in the brain. Any sort of encephalitis. We’re seeing fungal infections more often these days…”
“So it’s possible.”
“What are the guys analyzing the data saying?”
Cal had the grace to look sheepish. “I haven’t really talked to them. Aaron gave me a pretty stern warning to stay away from Wells, at least as far as investigating her goes.”
“And yet here you are.”
“Nate… she’s lying about something. I can feel it. Her story has holes in some places, but is too ironclad in others. I have to find out what it is.” He leaned across his desk, needing to make Nate, of all people, understand. “If it turns out that something she’s keeping from us is the very thing that can keep you guys alive…”
“I get it.” Nate didn’t seem like he was about to start making jokes about Cal and his paranoia. “I’ll tell you what. I’m not under orders to stay away from Wells and her info. I have every reason, as the crew’s doctor, to want to see the medical records from the previous mission. If I find anything, I’ll let you know.”
Cal hesitated, despite the urge to jump on the offer. “Don’t get yourself in hot water over something that might be me seeing volcanoes again.”
“I’m a big boy. And you know I’ll tell you if you’re going off the deep end.”
“Thanks. I just… want you guys to be okay.”
Nate stood up. “Yeah, I know. That’s your job. And we’re counting on your sorry ass.” He grinned and headed out the door. “Climbing gym tonight?”
“Yeah. Seven sound good?”
“You bet.”
After Nate left, Cal debated with himself for a long time whether he should talk to Aaron. With Catherine’s visit to the archives… his instincts were screaming. Sure it was possible she had access and Cal didn’t know about it, but she was acting much too guilty.
He headed for Aaron’s office.
“How’d it go with the crew?” Aaron said by way of greeting.
“We’re good, I think. Morale’s been high lately. They’re getting excited.” Cal shut the door behind him and sat down in front of Aaron’s desk.
“Of course. With Catherine back safe and sound, everybody is relieved.”
“That’s… what I wanted to talk to you about.” Cal figured Aaron opened that door, so he was going to march right through it.
“Cal.” That tone didn’t bode well. “Please tell me you’re not coming in here with more conspiracy theories about Catherine Wells.”
“I am absolutely not coming in here with more conspiracy theories about Catherine Wells,” Cal answered. “I have nothing but what I’ve seen and heard myself.”
Aaron leaned back in his chair, rubbing his face with his hands.
“Aaron, I’m not trying to start shit. I swear.”
“All right. Let’s talk this through. Suppose whatever it is you have is something worth worrying about.” Aaron sat forward, his elbows landing on his desk. He pointed at Cal. “You come up with something. We postpone or even cancel Sagittarius II. What happens then?”
“Well—”
“Unless you were about to say ‘a political and public-relations clusterfuck, Aaron,’ you’re wrong. After we lost contact with Sagittarius I, we damn near lost the program. You weren’t here for that. I was.”