11
THE LIGHT THAT filtered into the bedroom told Catherine it was midmorning, possibly later. Catherine winced after opening her eyes, grimacing at a sudden spike of pain between her eyes. Hungover? No. She wasn’t sick to her stomach, and besides, she hadn’t had that much to drink last night. She glanced over at the clock on the night table. Nearly eleven. When was the last time she’d slept so late? She sat up and stretched, wincing again. Everything ached, as though she were about to get the flu. The ache in her muscles was deep, and her back muscles were twinging, just on the edge of a spasm.
The other side of the bed was empty—not a surprise. Catherine swung her feet onto the floor and stared. What the hell? She’d taken a shower before bed last night, but now her feet were nearly black with dirt, grime beneath her nails and between her toes. She went cold as she studied her feet.
What did I do?
Nothing. It had to be nothing. Sleepwalking, maybe. Yesterday had been stressful. Maybe she had had one too many glasses of wine. That’s all it was. Or sleepwalking.
You don’t really believe that. She wanted to. God, how she wanted to.
Catherine went to the bathroom and got in the shower again, washing off her feet. The dirt rinsed away and vanished down the drain, disappearing forever. If only her fears would disappear so easily.
David wasn’t home, but Aimee was in the backyard, sprawled in the sun reading a book.
“I hope you’re wearing sunscreen,” Catherine said, stepping onto the patio and closing the door behind her. She sounded so normal. Okay, she could do this.
“Yes, Mother. I’m wearing so much I bet the sun isn’t even touching my skin.” Aimee looked up with a grin and put down her book. “I was wondering if you were ever going to get up. Go get changed; we have plans this afternoon.”
Catherine raised her eyebrows. “We have plans? What plans?”
“Well, someone has been working her ass off to give someone else an amazing graduation party, so someone deserves to get spoiled for an afternoon.” Aimee pushed herself up from her blanket and picked it and the book up.
“You don’t have to do anything for me,” Catherine protested.
Aimee laughed and walked up onto the patio, taking her mother by the arm. “I told you. Made plans to spoil you. Come on. I worked it out with Dad and everything. We’re going to lunch, then to the spa for a few hours, and then we’re meeting Dad for dinner at Tony’s.”
“Oh Aims, no. I’m not a spa kind of person…”
“Yes you are. Today, anyway. Come on, I’m not taking no for an answer.” Aimee pulled her into the house. “Go on, go change!” She put her hands on her hips and watched until Catherine smiled and went upstairs to obey.
The thought of keeping her normal face on all day made her insides twist. But how could she say no to spending time with her daughter? She changed into a sundress that wasn’t too outdated and put on a little bit of makeup before going back downstairs.
“Okay, let’s go!”
It was still a novelty to see Aimee driving, but Catherine agreed to let her, settling into the passenger seat. They wound up at a trendy vegetarian café for lunch that had an entire wall lined with succulents. They looked like a normal mother-daughter pair, ready to spend a Sunday together.
The food was delicious, and Catherine tried to focus on it rather than on the unending echo in the back of her head, asking what she’d done last night.
“Thank you for this,” Catherine said, trying to match the picture of normalcy.
“Oh, this is nothing,” Aimee said, grinning. “Wait until you see what’s next!”
Aimee wasn’t kidding, either. There was a type of Texas womanhood that Catherine could never manage to emulate, the Junior League types, with their impeccable grooming and tasteful clothes… and now she was surrounded by them. The spa itself was a feminine wonderland: white and neutral tones everywhere, billowing filmy fabrics, and quiet, elegant women in pale-gray coats leading women in robes around. A small dark-haired woman greeted them, and Catherine felt enormous and gawky, towering over her.
“It is you!” the woman said. “I knew it! I tried to tell the other girls that it really was the Catherine Wells that had an appointment booked. We’re so proud to have you here!”
Catherine fought the urge to wince and deny everything. She glanced over at Aimee, and to her surprise, Aimee was beaming with pride.
“That’s her. That’s my mom,” Aimee said.
“I… well, yes, that’s me.” Catherine smiled uncertainly. “My daughter, Aimee, and I are here together.”
“Of course, I can see the resemblance. I’m Teena. We’ve got y’all lined up for our Teaser package, so if you ladies will come this way, we’ll get started!”
Thankfully, it seemed that most of their time would be spent in a quiet room. In spite of the questions that plagued her, the masseuse managed to hammer away some of the physical tension in Catherine’s body, making it easier to keep smiling.
As their hostess led them to the next room, Catherine said, “I haven’t had a facial in years.” She laughed self-consciously. “I guess that goes without saying, huh?”
She and Aimee settled into side-by-side chairs and were given strict orders to close their eyes and keep them closed, before they were each given eye masks. Aimee chatted idly with their aesthetician while Catherine fought to keep from gripping the arms of the chair as the aesthetician spread some sort of cool gel on her face before putting the mask in place.
Relax. Just relax. She couldn’t. She kept thinking about her dirt-caked feet. Her aching muscles. How much time had she lost? What had she done?
The eye mask made everything worse, the darkness overwhelming. It made everything feel unreal. Like she was back on Sagittarius, drifting slowly home, talking to Aimee to keep herself alive.
You are on Earth. Aimee is right here and seventeen now. You are in a spa, Catherine kept telling herself over and over.
“I’ll be right back,” the aesthetician murmured and slipped out of the room.
“Mom? You okay? You went quiet.”
Catherine peeled up one corner of the mask and looked over. Behind Aimee’s mask Catherine could see her brow furrowed with concern.
“Yeah. I think I might have dozed off.” She lay back down and put the mask back in place, breathing easier.
“That’s a good sign, right?”
“It must be.”
She had to let it go. She promised herself she’d let go of the past and be more present. No matter what happened, Dr. Darzi would tell her it was normal, and maybe it was. Who the hell knew what “normal” was in a situation like this, anyway?
“Sorry, Aims,” Catherine said. “I’m not doing a very good job with the whole mother-daughter-time thing.”
“Hey, the idea was for you to relax. Napping counts.”
“I know, but…”
Aimee’s self-conscious laugh was an echo of Catherine’s, and Catherine couldn’t help but smile. “At least you’re here. When you first came home, I don’t know, I was afraid something else would take you away from me. Or that you’d vanish. Or that you would have changed so much that you wouldn’t be… you anymore.”
Am I still me? Really me? All the time? “I kept worrying I would vanish, too.” Catherine tried to laugh it off as a joke then winced at the drying gel pulling at her skin.
“Mom? What made you decide to do it? To be an astronaut? And go away for so long at a time?”