“Two, stand by for go/no go.” Catherine’s voice came through his headset. She was seated next to Aaron at the CAPCOM desk.
“Roger, Houston, standing by.” Commander Duffy was terse, no doubt focused on the next nine minutes.
Cal hadn’t argued against using her as CAPCOM for the launch. But he didn’t like it, and from the tension he felt radiating against his back, it seemed she wasn’t exactly at ease either.
“Attention Sagittarius II flight controllers.” Aaron sounded as calm as ever, but then this wasn’t his first launch. “Give me a go/no go for launch… FIDO?”
“Go,” the flight dynamics officer replied.
“RENDEZVOUS?”
“Go.”
Cal listened to the check, his heart in his throat. If they passed this check, the only thing that would stop the launch now would be a major emergency. This was the last real hurdle to clear.
“FAO?” Aaron’s voice in his ear.
If Cal said “no go” the countdown would remain stopped. He could stall things. Maybe halt them. But despite his reservations, despite everything he’d been worried about, he had no real proof. Aaron had shown him that much. Cal had no real other option. “Go.”
“PAYLOAD?”
“We’re a go.”
Aaron cycled through the entire Mission Control team, finally reaching Catherine. “CAPCOM?”
“Go.”
Did she have some of the same doubts he did? Cal wondered. She didn’t seem to be at one hundred percent these days. Her skin was sallow and she had dark circles under her eyes. She sat slumped over her desk, her lips drawn in a tight frown.
“Launch Control, this is Houston,” Aaron said. “We are go for launch.”
“Roger, Houston!”
Launch Control took over, going through their own checks. Cal kept his focus on the displays in front of him, looking for any sign of trouble. From the intercom overhead, he could hear the public affairs officer, sometimes called the Voice of NASA, continuing the countdown for the benefit of the observers gathered around the complex. Each time a launch position was called, Cal couldn’t help the small hope that someone would call a no go, but no one did.
“Start the clock,” Aaron said.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are nine minutes and counting,” the PAO said as the clock started.
At T-5 minutes, Launch Control armed the rockets that would carry Sagittarius away from Earth and activated the auxiliary power. Cal could barely breathe, certain his heart was loud enough for the flight controller next to him to hear.
At T-2 minutes, the crew closed their visors and sealed up their suits. Cal felt as if he might throw up.
At T-31 seconds, the launch autosequencer started. Everything was out of his hands at this point. Normally that would be maddening, but right now things were so far out of his hands that even he was able to let go. Cal felt a strange, sudden sense of calm.
At T-15 seconds, the PAO started counting down over the intercom. Cal felt as if he were floating, weightless in space himself.
“…Ten, nine, eight, seven, six. Ignition sequence starts. Three, two, one. Ignition.”
Then the calm broke and the tension in the room heightened. Eighteen flight controllers and Aaron, not to mention the world watching outside, held their breath as the rockets under Sagittarius bloomed orange and the massive launch structure began to separate, allowing Sagittarius to leave the ground.
“The clock is running,” Commander Duffy confirmed.
“We have liftoff!” the PAO told the crowd outside, and Cal could hear faint cheering over the Launch Control comm loop. No one in Mission Control was celebrating, not yet. They still had work to do, but they did allow themselves the luxury of glancing around and exchanging smiles. Cal grinned at Aaron, and then Catherine smiled at him, wary but friendly.
Cal couldn’t bring himself to smile back. He now had six years of anxious waiting to get through before his crew came back safely, and he still didn’t trust that Catherine had told him everything he needed to know to bring them home.
19
“I SAW YOU on TV talking about the launch. You looked great, Mom.”
Aimee and Catherine were putting away groceries in Catherine’s new apartment. It was small and dim compared to the bright, airy house she’d left behind in Clear Lake, but, Catherine told herself, it was all hers. And it was in the complex Aimee had picked out for her, close to David’s house. It was odd how easy it was to think of it as David’s and not hers already. Aimee had come over for the weekend, ostensibly to help Catherine unpack and get organized, but Catherine got the feeling that her daughter was checking up on her.
That was fair enough. Catherine would have been worried, too.
“Thanks.” She smiled faintly as she tried to figure out which tiny cabinet should serve as a pantry. “Paul finally managed to talk me into it, so now I’m NASA’s go-to for all things Sagittarius these days.”
“That’s good, though, right?” Aimee was on her knees on the tile floor, rearranging the refrigerator, what little there was in it. If Aimee noticed the many bottles of wine in the fridge and cupboard, she didn’t comment. Catherine had finally figured out the exact amount of alcohol it took throughout the day to maintain the silence in her head. It wasn’t as much as she feared, and she was able to keep from actively drinking during working hours. She hadn’t heard Tom’s voice since the launch.
“Yeah. Yeah, it’s a good thing.” NASA was pretty much all she had these days. Cal Morganson hadn’t confronted her directly again. But there was still that strange moment after the launch, when he just stared at her instead of smiling. He didn’t talk to her afterward, either, as the flight controllers offered each other congratulations. She got the feeling that while he wasn’t actively antagonistic toward her anymore, he was still keeping a close watch on her. “How are things going for your big move?”
“It’s okay.” She grinned up at Catherine. “You know me, I have lists on top of lists and then a list of all my lists. You’re still planning to come help me move in, right?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
Aimee was quiet for a few minutes and then asked, “Even if Dad comes, too?” She stood and dusted off her knees.
“Of course.” Catherine sensed something behind that, some bigger topic of conversation, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that just yet.
“Mom, are you two ever going to talk to each other again?”
She and David hadn’t spoken much, beyond what was required for joint parenting and for occasionally working together. “So what classes are you taking this fall?” Catherine deflected.
Aimee sighed but went along with the new subject. “Yeah. Calculus, for sure. It’s probably going to kick my ass, but I need it as a prereq for pretty much everything.”
“Didn’t you take AP Calculus in high school? Why do you have to take it again?”
Aimee gathered up the empty grocery bags. “This is more advanced stuff. I actually got to skip a couple of the intro classes thanks to my AP credits.”
“Well… there’re tutors, right? Don’t forget to ask for help if you need it.”