“Why?”
“She never said, at least not to me. Maybe she was threatened at having her predecessor’s son around. Maybe she felt my presence diminished her place in the family, or that she’d never have complete influence over my father because of me. She was the sort of person who needed that, to have some kind of control over another person.”
“That’s awful. How could anyone behave like that to a child?”
“People do all sorts of terrible things to children. Look at Andy, leaving Michelle and her mom before she was even born.”
Kate nodded.
“Anyway, my dad insisted on me coming to the wedding, but by that point, I didn’t even want to be there. I was the ring bearer. I remember feeling tempted to drop the rings down the toilet.”
“I can’t blame you there.”
“Well, I didn’t. They went on a long honeymoon, and I was sent to stay with the elderly neighbor next door, an old friend of my mom’s. The next couple of years were a blur of sports practices that Shauna never attended, school concerts that only my Dad came to see, you get the picture.”
“Was your dad happy?”
“I think so, for the most part. And after a while, he got sick. A heart condition. He spent a bit of time in the hospital.”
Kate’s face darkened. “Liam…”
“He died of a heart attack when I was thirteen. And so I was left with Shauna, the woman who never wanted me in the first place.”
She grabbed his hand, squeezing, her face contorted with clear pain.
His bitterness manifested in a sour smile. “To her credit, she did house me for a year. She was never cruel, just indifferent. But to a kid that’s worse. We just existed together, did our own things. But deep down, I wanted her to hug me and tell me she was glad I was in her life. I wanted her to accept me as her own.”
“And you never got that.”
He shook his head. “But she put a roof over my head for twelve months, even though I spent that year wondering when she’d grow tired of me. I suppose she kept me that long because she felt guilty, and I know she did love my dad. But at the end of that year, she met a man. A wealthy man. He wanted to marry her, but he didn’t want another man’s moping kid in his house.”
Liam spotted a tear fall from Kate’s eye. He wiped it away for her, hating the fact that she felt pain on his account. He leaned in and kissed the trail left from her tears.
“Anyway, it gave Shauna the push she needed. One day, she pulled me out of school and told me my bags were already in her car. She drove me to Aunt Margaret’s, a distant relative of my dad’s who I didn’t know very well, and told me that I wouldn’t see her again.”
“What did you do?”
Liam bit his lip. Since the day Shauna left, he hadn’t wasted a tear on her. But now they fell, and he wanted to slap at the wet tracks on his cheeks, hating this display of weakness. “I begged her to keep me. She was the only parent I had left. I promised to be good, told her I could be a good son to her. That I’d make her proud. She said, ‘Liam, you were never my son. I never wanted you. Now I have a chance to build my own family and you’re not part of it.’”
Kate pulled him into her arms, and he rested his head on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“I felt like my world was over. I’d already felt abandoned because of my parents’ deaths. But this woman, who should have been a mother to me, chose to abandon me. She told me to get the fuck out of her life and never looked back. And I was left with an old woman, who despite her good intentions, had health issues and her own concerns. She only took me in because I was blood, but we were basically strangers. We did grow closer, but it took time, and God knows I added to her stress. Then Aunt Margaret died by the time I got out of high school. Leaving me alone. Again.”
She looked at him, her mouth open, unbelieving.
“When she sent me to stay with Margaret, I was so angry. Shauna had made all the decisions for me and I hated the choices she made. So I made one for myself after she left. I ran away from Margaret’s house and stayed away for a month.”
“Where did you go?”
Liam swallowed hard. He’d already shared more than he’d shared with anyone. Could he tell her everything?
No.
“Liam?”
“I was homeless.”
Kate’s mouth fell open, as if she couldn’t believe the story got worse. He was right. He couldn’t tell her everything. He’d only scratched the surface of his tale and she was already in bits.
“What happened?”
“Look, all you need to know is I straightened myself out. As much as I didn’t want to hang around with an old lady, I realized that it was better than being on the streets. I went back to Margaret’s place and things got better. Let’s just say the streets of Vegas are no place for a kid.”
“Liam.” The word came out as a broken cry.
“Kate, I’ve spent the better part of my life feeling alone and unwanted. Do you understand why I don’t want Michelle to feel like I walked out on her?”
She nodded. “I do. But don’t you ever equate yourself with that woman. Your motives are good, and Shauna was an evil douchebag.”
Despite his tears, he broke into laughter. “Thanks for saying that. Maybe it’s not quite accurate, but it helps to hear.”
“I hate what she did to you.”
“I suppose I don’t blame her. I mean, I wasn’t really her kid.”
She shook her head. “Anyone with half a heart would have done the right thing and kept you. It was her loss. She missed out on something special.”
As she cried, he choked back his own tears and took her in his arms. She climbed onto his lap and he held her, stroking her hair and back. As much as he’d hated reliving his past, he felt better now, knowing Kate understood.
God help him, he was falling for this woman. She smashed his barriers and tore down his walls. She’d commandeered his heart with a few words of kindness, and shone light on a very dark corner of his life. He would always be grateful for it, and would gladly do the same for her.
“What happened to you, on the streets?”
He hadn’t allowed those memories in for a long time. He could almost convince himself someone else lived them. “Forget I mentioned it.”
“How can you say that? I won’t forget it.”
“It’s done. I learned from it. That’s all that matters.”
Her sigh told him she wasn’t done with the topic, but would let it go for now. Well, he’d deal with her questions as they came.
“Did you ever see Shauna again?”
“Only once,” Liam said quietly. “In my early twenties. I was back on track, done with college and apprenticed at a building firm. I got a call from a lawyer one day, telling me Shauna was in poor health, cancer, and that she wanted to see me.”
She looked up. “Did you go?”
“I wanted to tell him to fuck himself and to give her the same message. But I guess I was curious. What could she possibly want with me? As much as I despised her, I knew it would always bother me if I didn’t go. So I swallowed my feelings and visited her.” He closed his eyes for a moment as he remembered the scene. “It was strange to see her, looking so small, in a hospital gown. She’d always been a stunner before. When she saw me, she began to cry. Nothing surprised me more than to learn the ice queen had emotions after all.”
“What did she say?”
“She apologized. Told me God had cursed her for her cruelty by making her barren. She never had that family she wanted so badly. And after a few years of trying, her wealthy husband paid her off and divorced her.” He took a few deep breaths. “Shauna handed me a fat envelope filled with money. Said it was her divorce settlement, that she’d never touched it. She wanted me to have it. Because she hadn’t supported me in life, she wanted to die knowing she was finally supporting me.”
“That’s amazing.”
“No, it’s awful, Kate. Because you know what I did? I took it! I took her blood money and I left. I invested it, and the next year I began plans for my first casino. Shauna’s money paid for my business. And I think I’ve been sick about it ever since.”