But she knew full well people didn’t really change. Look at her father. Look at any number of the other addicts she’d known. She wanted Donny to be the one to prove her wrong, but it didn’t mean she wouldn’t reserve her judgment. She’d learned long ago it was easier to change her reactions than to compel others to seek help. And where she couldn’t affect change, she left.
There was something to be said for keeping one’s sanity.
“Kate?”
She gave Lisa half a smile. “I can’t ask Liam to give up his career for me. I won’t. It’s better if I just forget him.”
Even as she said the words, they hung at the back of her throat.
Forget him. Ha. It would be easier to forget her own name.
Chapter Sixteen
“I’m not sure I can do this,” Kate said on her way into her first New Horizons meeting in weeks.
Lisa rallied behind her. “Of course you can.” She steered her friend to one of the well-worn chairs. “Honesty is the best policy, right?”
“Right.” She took a deep breath and watched as Rod started the meeting, welcoming new members. After the initial icebreakers, he opened the floor to anyone who wanted to share. Audrey spoke first, updating the group on her struggles with her boyfriend, and then a couple of new members shared their stories.
After thirty odd minutes, Rod turned to Kate with a smile. “It’s good to see you back. The floor’s yours if you want it, Kate.”
“I’d like that.” She folded her hands in her lap, looking down. “As some of you know, I recently had a…relationship with Liam Doyle, the owner of the Vice casino. I’m not going to apologize for that. That’s a whole other story. I do have to apologize for something else, though. When I started this group, I told you all that I’d cut my dad out of my life. The truth was, I’d been enabling him for years, sending him money. It killed me to do it, but I couldn’t stop. I was so scared to cut him off. Afraid of what might happen.”
“It’s never easy,” Lisa said.
“No. But I got help from an unlikely source. Believe it or not, it was Liam Doyle who helped me to be strong. And even though I’m not seeing him anymore, I’ll always be grateful to him for that. But that doesn’t change the past. I’m sorry I lied to you all.”
The room grew silent. A couple of the members traded looks.
Kate stood up. “I’d understand if you want me to leave.”
“Hon,” said Rod, grinning. “Don’t be so dramatic. Have a seat. We’d like you to stay. Besides, we recently received a big donation and are planning on setting up a couple of new groups. I’m not just being a sentimental sap when I say we need you.”
Emotion bubbled inside her. Kate hadn’t lost her friends after all and the streak of relief that shot through her made her feel ten years younger.
Unfortunately it did nothing to fill the other gaping hole inside her.
Lisa dropped her off at her apartment that night. Kate waved, turned and sighed. The idea of facing another night alone, without Liam, had her skin bristling. It had been three weeks since she walked away from him and her heart still cried out for him, still wanted him.
Was it right? She wasn’t sure anymore.
She just needed to get over this dreadful hump. She still felt his eyes on her everywhere she went. Every so often at Percolate, she’d see a businessman open the door and her heart would leap, only to realize it wasn’t him. Whenever she spotted a black Escalade, she fought the urge to wave. She swore she smelled his cologne everywhere, as if he haunted her like a ghost. It both unnerved and thrilled her.
She started up the metal staircase leading to her unit when a noise distracted her.
Peering into the darkness of the backyard, she waited for his wraith to float toward her. Seeing nothing, feeling silly, she took another step.
She had to stop imagining Liam everywhere. At some point, she had to stop looking over her shoulder, hoping he’d appear. It did nothing to help the precious sense of sanity she so cherished.
Sanity. Right now she’d give her right arm for a huge helping of insanity and the chance to hear Liam say he loved her again.
She climbed up the remaining steps and shoved her key into the lock, giving it a hard turn. Once inside, she locked the door behind her, turned on the lights and threw her purse on the couch. On a mission, she went straight into the kitchen and yanked open the freezer door.
No freaking ice cream. Not even a tablespoon’s worth clinging to the lid of an old tub.
She wasn’t sure she could make it through the night without some Chunky Monkey.
As she wondered about the hours of the corner store, she resolved to rectify her frozen dairy situation. If she hurried, she might still make it and get back in time for some choice reruns on TV. Sighing, she picked up her purse and keys again and headed to the door. She whipped it open.
Hugo Vaughan stood there, grinning.
Before she could scream or slam the door, he forced his way inside and put a beefy hand over her open mouth, shutting the door behind them.
“Thanks for letting me in, Red. I didn’t want to put a shoulder to the door. You know, with my bursitis and all.” He looked her up and down. “Lookin’ good, Red. You know, I’ve missed you. Your dad’s debt might be settled, but I seem to recall we still have some unfinished business.”
God, he reeked of alcohol. Hopefully he was drunk enough that she could find a way out of this. She clawed at the hand over her mouth, trying to cry out.
“Uh uh, Red. Be a good girl and shut the fuck up.” He backed her up to the couch and forced her down. She could bite down on his hand, but was afraid of how he might retaliate. A cruel hand tugged at her neckline, ripping at her shirt, and he licked at her neck.
He uncovered her mouth so he could plunge his tongue in. It was too much. She couldn’t let this happen. Hadn’t she already lost enough? She would not sacrifice her dignity as well.
She bit down. Hard. Vaughan roared in pain and she gave him a shove. “Get the fuck off me, you filthy bastard,” she screamed. She wriggled under him, desperate to bring her knees in contact with his nuts.
Despite being drunk, Vaughan managed to keep her pinned down, his weight crushing her. Clearly, he had done this before. The alcohol may have impaired his judgment, but it hadn’t affected his reflexes. He evaded her every squirming attempt at a kick.
He rose up over her, blood dripping down his chin and smiled. “Have your bruises healed yet, bitch? I can give you some new ones.” He lifted one hand, poised to strike, and Kate closed her eyes.
At first she thought she heard the sound of his fist cracking against her skull, only she’d felt nothing. Then she opened her eyes and realized the door had been kicked in.
Liam. For real, not the fantasy who’d obsessed her every waking and sleeping thought.
Liam ran forward and pounced on the loan shark dragging him away. He landed three good punches, his furious words punctuating his movements.
“Fuck. You. Asshole.”
By the time he raised his arm for another punch, Detective Baxter and another officer stormed in. They separated Liam and Vaughan. Detective Baxter aimed a furious look at Liam while the other officer pinned Vaughan to the ground and cuffed him.
“What did I tell you about letting us handle this?”
Liam didn’t answer. He just glared at Vaughan, his fists clenched.
The detectives dragged Vaughan outside, reading him his rights, leaving Liam alone with Kate.
For a time neither said a word. He looked so different. He looked like the man who had taken her to Franky’s, wearing worn jeans and a black T-shirt, full of rugged appeal. Only tonight he looked disheveled, the dark circles under his eyes told her he hadn’t been sleeping. His knuckles were covered in Vaughan’s blood.
“How did you…?”
“I put out the word I wanted information on Vaughan. Wade got a tip tonight. Someone at the Golden Nugget recognized him, drunk as a skunk. Bragging about scoring big with a fancy pearl necklace. He made comments about visiting a certain redhead who’d gotten away from him before.” His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “I called the cops. I just didn’t tell them I was already on my way over.”