“Maybe the stain is influencing you to that end.”
I clamped my jaw shut. Could it be? Maybe, but I’d intended to keep my word from the start. “Can’t you just trust me on this?”
“I trust you. I don’t trust him.”
I let my head tip forward and stared at my feet. “I admit I don’t know much about vampires. Can you tell me something that will convince me? I mean, why are you so adamantly against trusting him?” I paused. “Is it because he kissed me?”
“I think the better question would be: Does that kiss have anything to do with why you want to…comply?”
What was I supposed to say? I’d brought it up. “He made a blood oath on the steps, he hurt no one, and—”
“Hurt no one?” Johnny spun and gripped my arms. “Shit, Red! He marked you! He claimed you! Like a dog pissing on a fire hydrant to mark his territory that goddamned vamp marked you!”
He released me and turned away.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I was very wrong. Menessos did hurt someone: he hurt you.” I half expected Johnny to deny it, but he didn’t. “That was all it was probably meant to do, too. Menessos doesn’t want me—why would he? I’m nothing but—”
“The Lustrata.” He turned back. “Controlling you would be a very beneficial arrangement.”
That sounded horrible. But I wasn’t convinced I was what he and Nana seemed to want me to be. “Does he know that you guys think that’s what I am?”
“Say it! Say the word. Stop tiptoeing around it.”
“Do you think he knows that you guys think I’m…the Lustrata?”
Johnny grabbed my arms again and stepped closer even as he pulled me to him. “Damn it, Persephone! You are! You are!” His hands were trembling despite his tight grip. It hurt. If he could have fed me the passion of his words and made me believe it, he would have.
Johnny searched for words and apparently found none. He released me. My arms stung. “Does Menessos know?”
“I don’t know.” He turned away and ran a hand through his hair. “If he doesn’t, then it’s something you need to hide from him. But with the mark, I don’t know how or even if you’ll be able to do that.”
“Vivian knew. I’m sure she’s told him. And, Johnny—Nana says the stain is part of being the Lustrata. That it is necessary. If she’s right…”
We stood there, warmed by the sunlight and cooled by the breeze, for a long time, silent, side by side. I didn’t want to go back into the house. I wanted to run into the field and just keep running.
Beverley bounded up between us. “Demeter sent me out,” she said. “She wants to talk to you, Johnny. Something about her Tarot cards.”
He looked askance at me.
I said, “I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to be more than they appear, am I?”
Johnny walked toward the house. “C’mon.”
Chapter 26
The living room seemed dark after our time in the sunshine, and my eyes adjusted slowly. I’d held back in the kitchen, but Johnny motioned me to follow, and I knew he wanted me with him for this.
Nana sat to one side of the couch and indicated the other end to Johnny. “Good, Persephone. I’m glad you came too. You should see this.”
I sat on the floor opposite them. The cards were upside down to me, but I knew them well enough that it made no difference. Nana’s deck was pretty, but worn.
“In light of everything that’s happened, I thought doing a reading might give me some insight. I didn’t get answers, but it seems very clear this reading is about you, Johnny, so I thought you should see it.” She paused. “Have you ever had your cards read before?”
“Nope.”
Nana gestured over the cards spread across a Tarot cloth on my coffee table. “This is a Celtic Cross spread. The first position represents you. As you can see, the card is the King of Cups.” She lifted the card and handed it to Johnny. “My deck is a Mythic deck, with the populace of Greek mythology adorning the cards. The king here is Orpheus, who was the son of the muse Calliope and was known as the greatest musician ever. I understand you have a band and have written many songs, so I think this card suits you well.” She smiled genuinely. “Since the cards in the suit of cups are concerned with emotions, the King of Cups is described as a man who values relationships and human experience above all else. Also, he is a man who influences others with his words, so, again, I believe this is a good match for you.
“The next card, the card that’s lying across your king”—she replaced the card—“is the card that identifies the problem. And the problem here is the King of Wands, represented by Theseus. Your current problem is with another man of heated enthusiasm, a man of some strength and nobility of character. He is an impatient man, though, and selfish too. Do you know whom this card represents?”
Johnny studied it. “I think so.”
Sounded like a vampire-wizard to me.
“Now the third card…” She suddenly sat straighter. “I’m not boring you with the overexplaining, am I?”
“No. Please, go on.”
“The third card crowns you and reveals the surface of the issue. You’ll see that it is the Judgment card, and the figure on it is Hermes, messenger of the gods. See these pillars here? One black and one white? Remember them. I think you’re looking at your past and seeing the patterns for the first time and realizing there is a certain intelligence in it.”
“I don’t know most of my past.”
“But what you do know,” I said, “is that there is a pattern to it, a pattern guiding you toward your destiny.”
Johnny smirked. “Yeah. I guess.”
Nana smirked back. “After all that’s happened in the last twelve hours, you ‘guess’?”
“All right. All right. I see it.”
“The fourth card is the base of the problem, the motivation that drives you, as such.” She lifted the card and held it up for both Johnny and me to see. “It is the High Priestess.”
“Intuition,” I said.
She pointed. “Here are those black-and-white pillars again, see? The secret pattern of your purpose, your particular destiny, is something you already know, but you might be looking for some other future when the one you’re meant for is already here.”
“I think I know what I’m meant to do already. And I’m not looking for a substitute.” Johnny took the card from her, examining it. “Who is she?”
Nana offered me a secretive smile while he examined the card, then faced him to answer. “She is the Queen of the Underworld. She is Persephone.”
My chin dropped to my chest. Peripherally, I could tell that Johnny stilled, fingered the card, then replaced it on the table. His voice was deeper than usual when he said, “Go on.”
“Fifth is the position of past influences. The card Strength shows Heracles struggling with a lion that represents the beastly side of his own character. I think we all know what this refers to. Sixth is the Hanged Man, Prometheus. This is the position of future influences and suggests that in the future you will have to sacrifice something to gain something else of greater value.”
“Like what?” Johnny asked.
“I honestly don’t know.”
“Any clues? Hints?”
“Only that it will not likely be easy. It could be something physical you must relinquish—or maybe something intangible, like a certain belief or attitude. Seventh here is the Chariot.” She held it up. “Notice Ares is driving a chariot with a black horse and a white horse—rather like the black-and-white pillars, don’t you think? And the two horses are trying to go in opposite directions.”
“I see that.”
Nana smiled wryly. “He’s not going to get where he needs to be if his motivations aren’t working in unison, is he?”
“No.” He frowned at the card. “What does this one’s position indicate?”
“The position refers to how you see yourself. This card tells me things have been neither wholly good nor wholly bad, that you have learned to accept the consequences of being a wærewolf, but perhaps you have not embraced the fact of being one and you still harbor anger about it as if something was taken from you, when perhaps you need to see it as ‘something was given to you.’” She paused. “You’re going somewhere, but you can’t get there if you don’t get your motivations to work together. Even if you want to, even if you need to, you cannot be in two places at once.” She tapped the corner of the next card. “The eighth position—which refers to how others see you—you’ll notice even the title of the card leaves no room for misunderstanding.”