I had insisted that Albert's Te Deum and his anthem Gotha—his own composition—should be part of the service, and when I heard it I was deeply moved, and it was almost as though he were there beside me.
We went back to the Palace via Whitehall and Pall Mall and I felt quite exhausted; but it was not the end of the day. There was luncheon at four and then I was on the balcony watching the blue-jackets march past. In the evening there was a dinner party. I could hardly keep awake. But it had been wonderfully stimulating—a day to remember.
LORD BEACONSFIELD HAD aroused my interest in India and since I had become Empress I had wanted to know more about it. I should have liked to visit it but that seemed impracticable at this time.
With the party that had come to England to take its place in the Jubilee celebrations, were two Indians who attracted my attention. They were Abdul Karim who was about twenty-four years old and whose father was, I believed, a doctor, and Mahomet who was much older, rather fat, and constantly smiling.
I engaged them to work in the royal household close to me so that I could learn more about them and their country. Karim was very intelligent but his grasp of English was not very good, so I engaged a tutor to teach him.
The tutor came eagerly, thinking he was going to teach one of the princes and when he realized his services were required for a servant— and a dark-skinned one at that—he was extremely put out.
I was irritated. I would not have people despised because their skin was a different color from our English ones; and of course the foolish tutor dared not offend me.
I was most amused when Karim offered to teach me Hindustani and I agreed to the plan at once. I was fascinated and loved to be able to address Karim and Mahomet in their own language.
Karim cooked for me—hot Indian foods—which I thoroughly enjoyed. I felt much happier than I had since John Brown had died. My Indian servants soon became devoted to me.
It was good to have people like that about me.
WHILE FRITZ WAS in England he had several sessions with Dr. Mackenzie and he was much better. He believed that Dr. Mackenzie could cure him and that lifted his spirits considerably. It was wonderful to see the change in him.
Vicky was delighted. Fritz was very important to her for he had stood beside her against all those who had been so unpleasant to her. I was well aware of what she had to endure from Fritz's family and particularly from young Wilhelm who, she believed, was so hard-hearted and ambitious that he was really longing for the deaths of his grandfather and father so that he could wear the Imperial crown.
He was a most unpleasant creature. He did nothing to stem the cruel rumors that his mother had a lover and that she had prevented her husband's operation because she wanted to keep him alive until after his father's death so that she might become Empress, after which Fritz could depart, leaving her with the Imperial pickings and her lover.
The wickedness of that young man infuriated me. I often thought of how proud Albert had been of her grand marriage. And what happiness had it brought her? Whereas Alice had been so happy with her Louis, and Beatrice had been the same in her even more humble union with Henry of Battenburg.
Poor Vicky, so clever, so proud! And what must be the hardest to bear was the unloving attitude of her own son.
It was Bismarck and his grandparents who had ruined him, and perhaps that withered arm had embittered him.
In February of the next year, Fritz was operated on and a few weeks afterward the Emperor died. Fritz was now Emperor of Germany and Vicky Empress.
It was wonderful to think of Vicky as an Empress. It was what Albert had wanted for her. He had loved her so much and been so proud of her. If only he had lived. Perhaps he could have guided Wilhelm.
I was worried about Vicky, because I knew, in my heart that Fritz was going to die. I wanted to see them both. I traveled abroad and spent a short time in Florence, which I found most enjoyable. Albert had stayed in Italy at one time and it was very moving to visit the house in which he had stayed. I was greeted effusively everywhere and people were most gracious to Karim and Mahomet, thinking they were Indian princes. It was most amusing.
When Bismarck heard that I was going to see Fritz and Vicky he was most indignant; but in Berlin I had a meeting with this man who was feared throughout the whole of Europe. I must say that I could not dislike the man, in spite of everything he had done and all I had heard of him. He was strong and I liked strong men. I had an idea that he was rather impressed by me; so oddly enough, that meeting, which might have been quite acrimonious, went off very well indeed. I felt we were both agreeably surprised and in the future we should have more respect for each other.
I was grieved to see poor Fritz, for he was shrunken and looked so ill and was unable to speak. I knew he could not live long; but at least he had made Vicky Empress. I saw Wilhelm too—a very arrogant young man, but I did subdue him a little and I told him I was most displeased by his conduct and asked him to promise to mend his ways, which—very much to my surprise—he did.
I left Vicky telling her that she must always call on me if she needed me. I would even come to Berlin if necessary.
When I returned home I summoned Dr. Mackenzie and asked for the truth about Fritz's condition. He told me he could not live more than three months.
It was June when that dreaded and not unexpected message came.
Fritz was dead.
I sent a telegram to Wilhelm—now Emperor of Germany—telling him that I was heartbroken and commanded him to look after his mother. I signed myself Grandmama V.R.I.
BERTIE WENT TO Berlin for Fritz's funeral and came back in a state of smoldering fury. I had rarely seen him so enraged, because, although like me he could have sudden bouts of temper, he soon recovered from them. But Wilhelm had really upset him—more than that he had disturbed him.
He wanted me to understand the true nature of my grandson.
“I do not believe, Mama,” he said, “that he is at all unhappy about the death of his father. In fact I would go so far as to say he rejoices in it, because it has given him the Imperial Crown.”
I replied that that did not surprise me for the envoy whom he had sent to me to announce his father's death had done it with an air of triumph that I had thought quite disgraceful.
“Germany is now a force to be reckoned with,” said Bertie. “I believe that Wilhelm has big ideas for expansion. He was particularly disagreeable to me. I had an idea he was almost baiting me, implying that I was only heir to a throne while he was an Emperor. His manner to Vicky is really unforgivable. He is jealous of you. Even he knows that Germany is of less importance than Britain and he does not like that. I really believe he will seek to change it. I think he would like to turn you from your throne and take it himself.”
“Bertie, that's impossible!”
“Impossible for him to do such a ridiculous thing, yes. But to have such ideas, no. He has Bismarck behind him. Wilhelm's youthful vanity might give him foolhardy ideas, but Bismarck is a seasoned warrior, Mama. We ought to recognize that. He seeks to better me in every way. He is trying to point out all the time that he is a better man than I am. He called me Uncle in a way to suggest that I am ancient and he is on the threshold of life.”
“I can see we shall have to be watchful of our little Wilhelm.”