Bob paused, his face a painful crimson.
“They sound thoroughly objectionable,” said Alleyn.
“Oh, well, there you are,” said Bob, dismissing them. “Well, sir. After that lot, Miss Valerie Gaynes came out. She was on the look-out for Mr. Liversidge as per usual, and I think she heard his voice on the stage. Anyway she made a bee-line for the door and went on. It was about that time the visitors from the front began to come in. I see you come with the guv’nor, sir, and that young Palmer and so forth. Mr. Gascoigne stood by the door looking out for them— the door on the set I mean. Then Miss Max came out and stood talking to me for a while. Always got a pleasant word for everybody. Then Minna come along and starts telling me orf for not ’aving changed me clobber. She’s a one, old Minna. We chy-ikes a bit and I says I’ll come along in me own time, see, and Minna goes back to doll ’erself up. Yes, that’s right, that’s ’ow she went.”
Bob paused.
“And then you joined the party, perhaps?”
“Nah! I felt kind of awkward, sir, and that’s the truth. The boys — the stage-staff, you know, sir — they was all on, be that time, see? They’d been fixing the stage, see? Else I’d ’ave mucked in with them. Well, blimey, sir, it was all posh-like. Wasn’t as if there was a door over on the O.P. I could of slipped froo on the Q.T. if there had of been, but there was only the one door, see? So I kind of hung fire and made another fag.”
He glanced shyly at Alleyn.
“I know. It’s a bit of a facer making an entrance, isn’t it?”
“That’s right, sir. Then, after a bit, my gentleman comes out — Mr. Hambledon — and he says, ‘Hullo Bob,’ ’e says, ‘waiting for something?’ And ’e seems to tip I’m feeling silly-like and ’e says: ‘Come on,’ ’e says, ‘and we’ll make a big entrance, Bob,’ ’e says. Look, ’e’s all right, sir, my gentleman. ’E’s very nice. But— ’struth, I couldn’t go on with ’im, sir. Wouldn’t be the right thing would it, now? So I says I’m waiting for Minna, and he smiles and cracks a joke, pleasant-like, and ’e goes across to the door where Mr. Gascoigne is still standing. I see him say something to Mr. Gascoigne and look across at me, smiling, and then ’e goes in and Mr. Gascoigne shuts the door and comes over to me and says: ‘We’re waiting for you and Minna,’ and then Minna comes along, and I puts out me second fag and we all goes acrost together and nobody notices nothing. And in about two shakes Miss Carolyn comes in and after you give ’er that ’eathen image we all sits down to supper and — and my Gawd, sir, then we know what happened, don’t we?”
“We do indeed. How long is two shakes, Bob?”
“Eh? Oh! See what you mean. Well now, sir. As we goes in everybody was just asking where was Miss Carolyn. So Mr. Hambledon and the guv’nor and Mr. Mason they went out to get ’er, passing Minna and me in the doorway. And they came back with her almost immediate.”
Alleyn made a sudden brusque movement, leaning forward in his chair.
“Then — Bob, this is important — it’s very important. You can tell me how long it was between the time Miss Dacres came out of her dressing-room and the moment of her entrance with the three men.”
“No time at all, sir. Just a jiffy. They must of met ’er in the passage.”
“And Bob! Could you swear that she came straight off the stage and didn’t leave her room till she went in to the party?”
“Yes, sir. ’Course I could. Didn’t I tell you I was—”
“Yes, yes, I know. It’s all perfectly splendid. Now for Mr. Hambledon—”
“Same for ’im, sir. Look ’ere, sir, I’m fly to what you’re after. You want to know who went up aloft after the guv’nor come down. That’s a fact, now, isn’t it, sir?”
“It is, Bob.”
“Well, sir, it wasn’t Miss Carolyn or Mr. Hambledon — physical imposs., sir. They both come straight orf after the curtain call. I see them. And they never come out of their rooms till they goes to the party, and they goes straight to the party. I’ll take me Bible oaf on it, kiss the book, and face the judge. Can’t say fairer than that now, can I, sir?”
“No. It’s good enough. Is there any way out from the dressing-rooms except past the doorway where you were standing?”
“No fear, sir. Not bloody likely, if you’ll excuse the expression, sir. Beats me they don’t have the fire inspectors down on them. There’s just the two rows of dressing-rooms downstairs, with the wardrobe-room at the end. The two star-rooms and Miss Max’s room all open orf the passage. Then it goes round at right angles with the wardrobe-room on the right and the three other dressing-rooms on the left.”
“Yes. I know.”
“Yes. So that Mr. Comedy Ackroyd’s room runs behind the two star-rooms and Miss Max’s. Suits ’im a fair treat; ’e can do ’is nosey-parkering nice with them wooden walls. I went to ’is room only the day we got ’ere, and there ’e was, standing on the table with ’is shell-like glued to the wall and ’is eyes shut, tuned in to Miss Carolyn and my gentleman what were ’aving a little pass-the-time-o’-day next door. Never saw me, ’e didn’t, but when I goes back I calls arht to Miss Carolyn they’re getting near ’er entrance and she comes away, see? Mr. Saint John Ackroyd!”
Alleyn remembered Ackroyd’s version of this incident and chuckled appreciatively.
“And there’s no door at the far end of this back passage?”
“No, sir. Only a little window. All gummed up with dirt and cobwebs.”
“Big enough for someone to get through?”
“ ’Ave to be very small, sir, and then it’d be a squeeze.”
“I’ll have a look at it. Thank you very much, Bob. Nobody ever calls you Mr. Parsons, do they?”
“Lord love you, sir, I sometimes forget I got another moniker. Might almost be an iggyliterate if you’ll excuse the bit of fun. Going, sir?”
“Yes — I won’t keep you any longer. It’s after hours so we can’t have a drink, but if you’ll allow me—”
“Well, sir, that’s very kind of you, but I’m sure I don’t want anything. If it’s a case of my gentleman, and looking after ’im, well I’m used to doing that and it’s a pleasure.”
“I’m sure it is, but don’t make me feel uncomfortable, Bob. Just to show you bear me no ill-will.”
“If you put it like that, sir — well, thank you very much, sir. Good night, sir, and I’m sure I hope you get the bloke. He was a very fair man, was the late guv’nor. Carn’t fancy ’ow anyone would want to bash ’is nut in, even if it was with liquor, which is a classy way of ’anding in your notice. I always says—”
Alleyn listened to a somewhat discursive reminiscence and at last got away. He had arranged to meet Wade at the theatre and found the inspector waiting for him.
“Well, Mr. Alleyn. Any luck with the dresser?”
“Quite a purple patch.”
Alleyn related the gist of the information.
“By cripes!” said Wade. “That’s something to get our teeth into. How did the man strike you, sir? Reliable?”
“I think so. He’s a type that will disappear before long I’m afraid — the real undiluted cockney. Undersized, sharp as they make them, loyal, independent, and violently opinionated. You should hear him on the subject of Ackroyd. We’ll be able to check his statements, I think. I timed his cigarette — sixteen minutes — he had to keep re-lighting it. The whistled song took three minutes so that takes us to a quarter to eleven. He made and lit another cigarette, which he put out before joining the party — say three more minutes, which would mean twelve minutes to eleven when he left the passage. Now when everyone started asking for Miss Dacres, Mr. Meyer looked at his watch and said: ‘It’s ten to — time she was making an entrance,’ and about two minutes later she appeared. If Bob Parsons was in the passage all that time, she can’t have done it.”