The words almost slipped out. I’m so sorry. But my apologies for his past wouldn’t bring back his mother any more than it would bring back Katie. “I had no idea.”
He finally turned to face me. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and wrapped his arms around me. “How could you?”
I shrugged.
“I didn’t want to burden you with the shit I’ve dealt with. It’s hard enough losing one parent, but to lose two within a week of each other? Fucking unbearable.”
“How long did it take you just to feel normal again?” My cheek settled against his heart. The strong, steady beat of it comforted me.
“How long have we known each other?”
“Almost three months, I think.”
“It took me until about three months ago.”
I pulled my cheek from its soft resting spot on his chest and looked up into his eyes. They radiated warmth and authenticity.
“Do you really mean that?”
He nodded, his serious eyes never leaving mine. “It’s what drew me to you. You were the first person I met who made me forget my fucked up family and my fucked up past. You made me look toward the future. It was why I couldn’t stay away from you.”
I pressed a gentle, loving kiss to his lips before I spoke. “You could have any girl you want. Why me?”
“I can’t explain our connection, Jimi. It’s deeper than lust and more than sex. That was all I ever had before I met you. But you give me this peace I’ve never had before. Before you, something was missing. But it isn’t missing anymore. You’re my home. You’re my family. You’re the one on my mind from the second I wake up until I fall asleep, and then I spend the night dreaming about you.”
I felt hot tears prick behind my eyes. He basically just told me that the day we met was the day he was able to start living again. How does anyone deal with words like that? It was an honor I wasn’t prepared to handle.
While I’d felt us moving into the direction of something serious, I was able to blame an awful lot on the fact that my dad had hired him to watch over me. We’d done our share of talking, but this day would be forever immortalized as the day that Parker finally opened up to me. I met his sister, I learned about his parents, and, most importantly, I discovered who Parker James really was beneath the attractive exterior.
He was just as beautiful on the inside. He was damaged, just like I was, but we were working on helping each other mend the brokenness.
eight
The Chicago shows were perfect. The tour took us through a journey of the Midwest to Milwaukee, Cleveland, Indianapolis, and Louisville, and then we headed toward Florida for shows in Jacksonville, Miami, and Tampa.
Randy had been unusually quiet, but it was probably because my dad had stepped up security. George was permanently on Parker and me, and in his rare absence, Bruno was on us. My dad hired a few extra men George trusted to keep all of us safe, and our rooms hadn’t been breached since the night my journal had been stolen.
Nothing changed where Jadyn was concerned. I still didn’t trust her, and I avoided her as much as I could. It was a difficult task given the fact that I was her husband’s assistant, despite the fact that George had taken over for me in the interest of Parker acting as my personal bodyguard.
I was still piecing it all together, but I had my suspicions that things weren’t over between Jadyn and Randy. Something told me she continued her involvement with him. Maybe her job was gaining information on me so Randy could make his move. Stealing my journal of all things would certainly accomplish that.
Except my journal was really just snippets of thought. The only person who would really understand its meaning was the writer.
After the night Parker had confessed his past to me, we’d managed to grow closer to the point of being inseparable. It was convenient anyway since my dad wanted him near me at all times with the exception of when he was working, which was fairly often.
I wondered often what Vinnie, Fitz, and Garrett thought about all of it. Even though Parker and I had grown close, I still didn’t know the guys very well. We tended to spend all of our free time together, mostly naked. And since our bus was separate from theirs, even though we were traveling together, I didn’t know them any better than I had before we’d left for the tour.
Our tour was nearing its end, and I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to do with myself once it was over. Parker had started the dialogue in my mind about whether I had ambitions beyond working at Vintage, and I was sure that I did. In fact, part of me wondered if owning my own store like Vintage was a possibility. I’d surfed the website of the community college near my house, but I wasn’t even sure what degree I would need. I had no concept of how to run a store because I’d spent so much time living in my own world and not caring what came next.
It had been an empty existence living day-to-day that way, and it had taken the right person to motivate me to get out of my rut. And now that I’d opened my eyes to the fact that there could be so much more out there for me, I wanted to explore it. I wanted to take some chances and see where my ambitions took me.
But aside from a career for myself, I also wondered what was waiting back home where Randy was concerned.
“Wondered” wasn’t the right word.
“Feared” was a little closer to the truth.
I was terrified of what waited back in California, but I couldn’t dwell on it.
Even though my relationship with my dad had been strained ever since the journal incident, I trusted that he always had my back. He’d always do what was best for me, even if I didn’t like the decisions he’d made or the way he’d reacted. He’d always do whatever he could to keep me safe, as evidenced by the fact that there were always at least two people watching over me.
I missed privacy. I found myself taking extra bathroom breaks, or spending a few extra minutes in the shower (although most of the time Parker was in there with me). I knew the end of the tour didn’t necessarily spell the end of security surrounding me, but I was ready for it to be over. I was homesick. I was tired of sleeping on a bus or in a hotel. Granted, I didn’t have a lot to complain about where our hotels were concerned, but there was nothing quite like sleeping in my own bed.
With Parker.
“You ready for the last night?” Parker asked. We were hanging out on the bus in the parking lot of the Smoothie King Center on the Fourth of July in New Orleans, Louisiana, as Parker broke into my thoughts.
“Me?” I sat up from my lazy position nestled in the crook of his arm and looked at him.
He nodded.
“Sure. You?”
“Yep. Playlist is a little out of order tonight, so I’ll have to meet with the guys early.”
“That’s fine. I have some things I can take care of for my dad, anyway.”
“I thought Vanessa was handling it.”
I shrugged. “It’s the last show and it’s a holiday. He’s got more demands.”
“Take George.”
I rolled my eyes and earned myself an irritated look from Parker. “I know. You don’t have to tell me every time.”
“You’re irritable today.”
“How’s that different from any other day?”
“Touché.” He chuckled, and I punched him in the arm before he stood and stretched. I saw his abdomen peek out from under his black shirt. Just the glimpse of the cut muscles hidden beneath that shirt caused my mouth to water.
But we had work to do.
We headed toward the backstage area of the arena. Parker located the boys from Flashing Light, and then we parted ways as George led me straight to my dad.
Gideon sat on a couch, his legs stretched out and his feet resting on the table in front of him. His ever camera-ready wife was snuggled into his side much the same way I had been with Parker only moments earlier.
I rolled my eyes.
“Can’t we all just get along for the last night of the tour?” my dad asked.
I sighed and sat in a recliner chair, my eyes focused on the television that wasn’t even on as I hoped that someone else would join us in the room aside from the typically silent security team.