It seemed to me that my dad should be shouting from the rooftops. He seemed to love Parker. He trusted him enough to put my safety into his hands. Parker was the son he never had.
Something was going on, and I suddenly felt like the joke was on me.
Some sick, twisted joke that I didn’t quite understand.
I looked back and forth between my dad and Parker. Both of them looked slightly relieved.
“Thanks for agreeing to this, CC,” my dad said. He turned to walk away, back toward his dressing room, but I caught him by his sleeve.
“For agreeing to what?” I asked.
His eyes flashed with concern and moved from me over to Parker. “Did you…?”
Parker shook his head. “There wasn’t time. I sent a text.”
“You sent a fucking text?” My dad was frustrated. He looked over at me. “CC, where’s your phone?”
“I left it on the bus when I changed earlier. Why?”
His eyes filled with horror. I looked over at Parker, and I saw all of the color drain from my new fiancé’s face.
“Wait a minute,” Parker said nervously. “So you didn’t see the text I sent you?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t have time to get it. I wanted to watch your set tonight.”
“Fuck,” Parker muttered. He ran both of his hands through his hair, and then he tugged on the ends. He looked like he was either going to punch a wall or vomit. He looked at my dad pleadingly.
“Parker, texts are traceable. What were you thinking?” my dad asked him in a hiss. He was trying to be quiet. He clearly didn’t want anybody to hear this conversation. He turned back toward me. “I need to explain something to you, CC. But not back here.”
“What the hell is going on?” I asked, my voice becoming hysterical.
Parker pulled on my hand. “But you said yes,” he said, his voice full of wonder. He was in an utter daze.
Roadies passed by us carrying equipment to and from the stage. Fitz and Garrett were coiling up cords while Vinnie unscrewed his cymbals.
But I couldn’t focus on any of that because something was very wrong.
“Not here.” My dad’s voice was forceful, and I knew better than to question that tone. “Will your room be empty?” he asked Parker.
Parker nodded, and we both followed my dad as he led the way toward the Flashing Light dressing room.
Parker was gripping my hand so tightly that I thought he was going to cut off circulation. Somehow George had rejoined us. He brought up the rear of our group while my dad led the way.
We arrived to the door of Parker’s dressing room. George manned the door from the outside while the three of us stepped inside. My dad did a quick sweep of the room, and then he focused in on me.
“Sit,” he demanded.
I sat on a couch. Parker sat next to me, his hand never leaving mine, and my dad sat on the table in front of us both. Our knees were practically touching.
I didn’t like how this felt. A sick feeling twisted in my gut again.
“Things are escalating with Randy. He found out that I hired Parker to protect you, so we had to think of a way to throw him off.”
I looked back and forth between Parker and my dad.
“Is this what you two were meeting about all day?” I asked.
They both nodded. “We came up with a plan. We had to make a statement that would show everyone that you and Parker are together,” my dad continued.
A vile anger burned in my belly as the sickness I felt gave way to fury.
“And if Parker did it in public, Randy would have to believe its sincerity. Besides, he isn’t stupid enough to go after you if you’re in the media. A high profile wedding? It will keep him at bay. We planned to fill you in before the show.”
“Wait a minute,” I said, holding up the hand that Parker wasn’t death-gripping to stop my dad.
The diamond glinted in the light.
Suddenly the diamond became an important factor in this equation.
It was a large round diamond set on a platinum band. It was beautiful, but it didn’t scream Roxanna to me. Something less modern and more unique would’ve suited me better. It made me think for a quick second that Parker didn’t really know me at all.
I slapped my hand down on my lap just to force myself to stop looking at it. I couldn’t let the ring distract me from my question.
“Are you telling me that this was some publicity stunt?”
Parker’s hand inexplicably tightened over mine. I ripped it away from him.
Wasn’t I the one who had just told myself that I wasn’t ready to marry him?
Why did it even matter if it was some publicity stunt?
Why was I suddenly disappointed that Parker didn’t actually want to marry me, that his proposal hadn’t been sincere?
“Are you two serious right now?” I looked over at Parker. He was sitting in stunned silence while my voice grew louder. “After all the shit we just went through, you thought this would be a good idea? And you—” I whipped my head in my dad’s direction. “You thought this would be a good idea after I just forgave you for sneaking behind my back and hiring douchebags to watch over me?”
“Wait a minute,” my dad started just as Parker began to protest the label I’d given him.
I was done. I was so fucking done with these two men and their lies and their deceit.
“You were supposed to know, CC. Parker said he’d figure out a way to let you know. You two just need to pretend to be engaged. I swear it’s to protect you.”
I stood up and darted around the couch and the table. I couldn’t sit so close to Parker. I couldn’t look my father in the eyes.
I pulled the ring off of my finger and threw it at Parker. Hard.
It bounced off of his chest and clattered to the floor. His eyes darted from me over to the spot on the floor where the ring had landed.
“I’m so goddamn sick of this protection bullshit!” I yelled at my dad, at Parker, at the room. I was losing the control I fought so hard to maintain. “I get it. None of us are safe. This was a ridiculous plan. If you would have told me about it ahead of time, I still would have told you both how stupid it was. I can’t be around either of you right now.”
“Roxanna,” my dad said sharply. I stopped in my tracks. It was instinct.
“No, Gideon. You don’t get to ‘Roxanna’ me on this one.”
Hot tears filled my eyes as I turned blindly to the door.
two
George followed me out to the bus, of course. I couldn’t get one goddamn second alone on this tour where I felt so goddamn lonely.
Hank gave me a look of sympathy since I was full-on crying by the time I arrived at the bus door. He punched in the code and opened the door, and I went immediately to the back of the bus, slammed the door, pulled my phone out of my jeans pocket, and opened Parker’s text.
When I ask you an important question at the end of our closing song tonight, please say yes. It’s for your safety. It won’t be real this time, but I can’t stop thinking about how it will be real someday. I love you.
I tossed my phone away from me in disgust.
Playing with marriage, with engagements and love, was sick. It was one thing for my father to force Parker on me for my protection. It was quite another for the two of them to come up with this ludicrous idea that Parker and I should get engaged to somehow protect me from Randy.
A soft knock sounded at the door.
“Go the fuck away,” I yelled. I buried my face into my pillow, angry tears still falling from my eyes.
The door opened. That was exactly the opposite of what I had literally just said.
I didn’t lift my head because I wasn’t interested in who was at the door.
I heard my dad’s voice.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. For what it’s worth, this was my idea. Parker protested pretty strongly, but I just couldn’t see any other way.”
“I don’t need the details, Dad. I just want to be alone.”