It took Brian a moment to decide. “Yes,” he said at last. “I would appreciate it. Thank you.”
With Jeanne holding on to his limp arm, they followed the doctor back into the treatment area and finally into the trauma room. A clean white sheet had been draped over the treatment table, covering Juliette’s small body.
Dr. Singh stepped up to the table and grasped the edge of the sheet. He then looked over at Brian and Jeanne. “I want to warn you that by medical examiner rules, we don’t remove various equipment like endotracheal tubes and intravenous devices until the body has been cleared by an authorized medical examiner investigator.”
Neither Brian nor Jeanne responded audibly, but both nodded that they understood.
Respectfully, Dr. Singh slowly pulled down the sheet, progressively exposing Juliette’s pale, fragile body down to the navel. As the doctor had warned, an endotracheal tube distorted her mouth. Intravenous lines ran into both arms, and ECG leads were still attached to her chest. For both Brian and Jeanne, it was a jarring, horrifying sight.
“Did she have EEE like my wife?” Brian asked, averting his eyes.
“The neurology consult believes she did,” Dr. Singh said with regret. “To be sure we’ll have to wait for the blood test to confirm it.”
“Why bother?” he responded bitterly. “Isn’t it a bit too late?”
“Yes, I believe it is too late,” Dr. Singh said as he bowed his head. “I will leave you two. No rush. Stay as long as you would like.” He turned around and walked out into the corridor.
Brian and Jeanne looked at each other, standing alone among all the high-tech equipment of the Trauma 1 room. His eyes brimmed with tears he’d been fighting. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of EEE, either,” he managed between gasps. “I should have.” He picked up the edge of the sheet and pulled it back over Juliette’s body, unable to grasp how he had also been so mentally blind.
With tears running down her own face, Jeanne enveloped Brian with both arms and for several minutes they hugged in silence. “It’s not your fault. You’re not the doctor.”
“I suppose,” he said listlessly.
“You were correct about what you said to the doctor,” Jeanne insisted. “Ultimately it is Charles Kelley’s fault.”
“Charles Kelley and Heather Williams,” Brian added. “I’d be hard put to say who was more responsible.”
Still holding on to each other for mutual support, they headed for the door leading out into the hallway, wondering where they could possibly go from here.
Book 3
Chapter 35
September 3
What are you going to do with her things?” Jeanne asked. She and Brian were standing at the open door of Juliette’s bedroom, looking in at the disheveled bed. Jeannot Lapin was in a heap on the floor after apparently being batted off the bed during Juliette’s seizure. Jeanne had been surprised when Brian suggested they make the visit the moment they had entered the house.
Without answering, Brian stepped into the room, picked up the stuffed rabbit, and then returned out into the hallway. As he did so, he closed the door behind him. “I’m not going to do anything with her things,” he said. “At least not now. Maybe sometime in the future.”
“Are you sure that is wise?” Jeanne said. “I could at least pack everything for you to get it out of sight. I’m afraid it is going to be painful keeping them around.”
“That’s generous of you,” Brian said. “There’s no need. I’m just going to leave the door closed, but I wanted to return Jeannot Lapin. I know it means something to you, otherwise you wouldn’t still have had it.” He held out the plush toy.
Jeanne took the rabbit and hesitated before responding. The day had been extremely painful for her, and she could only imagine how traumatic it had been for Brian. She’d grown fond of Juliette in the few days that she had known her, and realized it was perhaps that Juliette represented the daughter she’d wanted but never had. And now Jeannot Lapin would always be associated in her mind as Juliette’s friend and not hers. “I appreciate the gesture,” she said at length. “I hope you understand, but I’d prefer to let Jeannot Lapin remain with Juliette.” She reached out and grasped the doorknob to Juliette’s room, looking up at Brian but not yet opening the door. “Do you mind?”
“Of course not.”
Leaving the door ajar for moment, Jeanne went into Juliette’s room. After straightening the covers, she carefully placed Jeannot Lapin on the bed. Once back in the hall, she closed the door behind her.
“I’m sorry to have caught you up in all this,” Brian said as they descended the stairs.
“Don’t be. The best way to stop feeling sorry for oneself is to start feeling sorry for someone else. Losing a spouse is a terrible experience, I can attest to that. But losing a child is far worse. Would you like me to leave or do you want to talk or maybe sit in silence?”
“I’m not sure,” Brian admitted. “But I don’t want you to leave. That’s for certain. I think I’d like to talk.”
“Where should we sit?”
Brian shrugged. He was taking everything moment by moment. “I guess in the office.”
As they entered, Jeanne noticed the bulky, strange-looking shoulder bag on Emma’s desk. She couldn’t make out what it was, partially because of the dimness in the room. The only windows of the former dining room were high and made of leaded glass. Most of the light was coming in through the archway leading into the living room. Preferring semidarkness, Brian had not switched on the chandelier.
“It’s a rifle bag,” Brian said as he noticed Jeanne peering at it. He threw himself heavily into his desk chair and groaned. On the day Emma died, he thought he had experienced the worst moment of his life, but the pain he was experiencing with Juliette gone was unparalleled.
“It looks odd,” Jeanne said, bending over and looking at it closer. One end came to a protruding cylinder about the size and shape of the business end of a duster. “It doesn’t look long enough to hold a rifle.”
“It’s a special rifle,” Brian said. “It’s a sniper weapon, meaning it is very, very accurate. In order to make it easier to transport, the stock folds against the barrel.”
“My goodness,” Jeanne exclaimed. “What they won’t think of next.” She sat in one of the several side chairs and, like Brian, groaned as she settled in.
Both Brian and Jeanne were physically and emotionally exhausted. Starting at 3:25 a.m. for Brian and 4:45 a.m. for Jeanne, it had been a long day — what felt like the longest day of his life.
The most emotionally difficult part had been in the ED waiting to get the required paperwork done right after they had viewed the body. All at once, there had been a flood of emergency cases arriving by ambulance, including several early morning automobile accidents that had taken the attention of most of the doctors, nurses, and even clerks. To complicate the situation, just before ten o’clock Aimée and Hannah had arrived, both in a panic. From a call to Camila, Aimée had learned Juliette had had a bad seizure during the night and was in the ED. Aimée in turn had called Hannah and both had come directly to the hospital without phoning ahead. When they arrived, it fell to Brian to tell them that Juliette had passed, which put them both into a hysterical condition. As a result, Brian had to spend considerable effort to calm both of them, rather than come to terms with his own deeply broken state.
Luckily for Brian, Hannah eventually took control. Although she had been depressed since Emma’s burial, this new tragedy caused her to regain composure, and she again accepted the burden of planning the next few days. At first Brian expressed some reluctance to go along with the full funeral procedure again after the experience of Emma’s passing, but his reservations were immediately dismissed by Hannah and Aimée. Ultimately, he yielded to their wishes both because objecting would have taken too much energy, which he didn’t have, and because he thought it would be selfish to deny them fulfilling what they thought was their responsibility. It was painfully obvious to Brian that they both were hurting and it was also apparent to him that the planning process was helping them deal with the horror of losing a beloved granddaughter.