“Nathan doesn’t like me anymore.”
Probably true, but he said, “We’ll see. We’ll have time to talk later about all the scary things that have happened. But right now, Miss Ruth is going to look after you while I take care of something with Captain Burke. Is that okay?”
Lizzy nodded.
He wanted to stay with his little girl. She needed him. But he had to balance that need against the welfare of the entire city of Lakeside. So he had to get the bakery issue settled before the Others settled it in their own way.
He kissed Lizzy’s forehead, then nodded to Ruth as he left the efficiency apartment to join his captain.
Sitting on the bench in Henry’s studio, Meg stared at the fur on the back of the Grizzly’s hands. The studio didn’t feel peaceful the way it usually did. And the Bear in human form didn’t look peaceful. He looked big and powerful . . . and angry.
“I had to cut.” She hoped Henry would understand since Simon wouldn’t talk to her. She hoped someone would understand and help her understand, because the pain that had overwhelmed her had been too much to keep inside herself.
“Had to.” Nodding, Henry wandered around his studio, looking at the sculptures in various stages of creation. “Had to cut when you were out of control because you’re too stupid to try to understand what is around you without cutting?”
She stared at him, shocked. “Henry . . .”
“We’ve seen enough of these cuts since you came to live with us to know you have warnings, those prickles that tell you something is wrong.” Henry towered over her. “You must have had those prickles at the Pony Barn, but you didn’t tell Nathan so that he would know something was wrong, didn’t walk away from the Pony Barn to see if the prickles would fade. Isn’t that what you’ve done before to determine if a cut was necessary?”
“Yes, but—”
“Instead you stayed, trying to talk to a cub who thought she should get her own way. You stayed when you had already said everything there was to say about her riding the ponies.”
“But Lizzy is in danger!” Meg protested.
“Who among us didn’t already know that?” he replied with a curtness that wounded her. She expected Simon to snap and snarl at her, but not Henry.
“And Nathan was in danger too!”
“Because of you and the Lizzy!” Henry roared. “You put a Wolf who thought you were a friend in the position of being around fresh blood you know is a danger to him. Did you know Nathan had to make the cut? You were so out of control, he had to make the cut to stop you from slashing your belly open.”
Meg froze, shocked so deeply she could barely breathe. She remembered Nathan howling, so much misery in the sound. “No,” she whispered. “No, I didn’t do that.”
“You did,” Henry growled. “Fire helped hold you down, and that experience has sharpened her feelings about humans in general and the Lizzy in particular.”
“But it was worth it,” Meg insisted. What she had seen had to be worth all this hurt she’d caused to beings she cared about.
Henry pulled a piece of paper wrapped around her folding razor out of his pocket. He tossed both into her lap. “Was this worth the distress you caused?”
She unrolled the paper and stared at the words.
Happy mask
Angry face
Ice chest
Heart
Rotting meat
“There must have been more.” She watched her hands shake.
“No. That was all you said.”
“Maybe . . . maybe the cut wasn’t long enough or deep enough.” The cut felt long enough and deep enough.
“Maybe men like the Controller were right and the cassandra sangue can’t survive outside of cages. Maybe blood prophets can’t experience the world like other beings because everything and everyone can be an excuse to use the razor. Is that what we should tell the Intuits and other humans who are struggling to help these girls survive? That the blood prophets need limited contact with other people, limited experiences, a limited life? Otherwise you’ll cut yourselves to death over any little thing.”
“No! Henry, I did it for Lizzy!”
“None of us believe that.”
She stared at him, stunned.
“It is said you have a thousand cuts before the one that kills you. How many scars do you have now, Meg? How many years do you have left if you cut yourself every three days? You say you did this cut for the Lizzy? What do you want us to tell Sam when you bleed out one day from a cut you didn’t need to make?”
“Henry . . . ,” she sobbed. His words battered her like fists.
“You hurt all of us. You hurt Sam and Simon and Nathan. You upset the Elementals and the ponies and the Sanguinati. You’re supposed to be the Pathfinder, the one who will consider alternatives to the razor so that blood prophets can live in the outside world.”
Pressing a hand to the cut at her waist, she wept. And when Henry sat down beside her and put his arms around her, offering grumbling comfort as he might do for a cub, that hurt worse than his angry words.
CHAPTER 26
Watersday, Maius 12
Lizzy is fine, and Ruth is well able to look after her for a couple of hours, Monty thought as he and Burke walked into Nadine’s Bakery & Café after the lunchtime rush. Stay focused on the work now.
Nadine didn’t give him her usual smile. Instead she said, “Are you here to ask me to choose a side, Lieutenant?”
“Choose a side?”
“Maybe this has been bubbling under the surface for a long time, but it seems like, all of a sudden, people are expected to declare themselves one way or the other. Either you’re for humans and against the Others, or you’re a traitor to your own kind. Neutral as an option hasn’t been eliminated completely, but it’s getting there. There’s talk that we’ll be seeing shortages of pork and beef by the end of summer because animals are dying due to lack of feed. There’s already a limit on how much flour and sugar bakeries can purchase each week, and prices for some items have already gone up—have doubled in some cases.” Nadine sighed. “You know Chris from Fallacaro Lock and Key?”
“He works with the terra indigene in the Courtyard,” Monty replied.
“His father and I are cousins. Last night Chris slept on my couch because his father joined the Humans First and Last movement and declared that the business is humans only from now on, and if Chris does another job for the Others he’ll not only be tossed out of the business; he’ll be disinherited. And any other employee who doesn’t join HFL will be out of a job.” Her dark eyes held an equal measure of anger and worry as she focused on Monty. “You usually come in on your way home from the Universal Temple. Somehow, I don’t think you’re here to pick up a late lunch.”
“No, we’re not,” Monty said, regretting that Nadine was right—he was going to ask her to choose a side. He just hoped that she would understand that choosing the Others was a way to help humans. “There’s a coffee shop in the Courtyard. It’s no longer open to the general public, but it does supply food for human employees as well as the terra indigene. Two bakeries in Lakeside that were supposed to supply the coffee shop with baked goods and other foods have broken their agreements with the Courtyard.”
“Then the Others should learn to bake or do without,” Nadine replied.
“There are bakeries on Great Island that will supply them with anything they want for the coffee shop,” Burke said. “But there will be penalties to Lakeside if no bakery in the city honors the agreements.”
Nadine studied them. “What kind of penalties?”