Mrs. Trent was in purple velvet. It was a beautiful dress and she was really quite a handsome woman. Her manners betrayed her. If only she would be quieter!
“It’s so nice of you to ask us,” she was saying. “My word, this is a fine old place. Eversleigh! I remember it well, I know every nook and cranny. It takes me back to be here.” Her eyes were darting about; searching for Harry Farringdon, I guessed.
He had found Evie. I believed he had been waiting for her. Now he was talking to her. I was glad that I had arranged with my mother that they should be seated together at the table.
I noticed Dolly, who kept beside her grandmother, although her eyes were wistfully on Evie all the time. It occurred to me briefly that she might resent anyone’s taking Evie from her.
Sophie was with us for dinner. She and Sabrina would slip away immediately after we had eaten—Sabrina because she must retire early, and Sophie, I supposed, because she still felt ill-at-ease in company and would, in any case, wish to be with Jeanne.
The great table in the hall looked magnificent in the light from the candelabra. I wondered how many candles were burning in the hall that night. My mother sat at one end of the massive oak table, Dickon at the other. Jonathan was with Millicent, David was next to Mrs. Trent, and I had Jack Dolland on one side and Harry Farringdon on the other. I could hear him and Evie chatting together.
The meal lingered on. There were toasts to the guests and their returning ones to us; and everybody was very merry. A great deal of wine was drunk and food consumed; and at length the time came for the treasure hunt. My mother explained to the company that the hall would be cleared while the treasure hunt was taking place and then we should be ready for dancing.
“You will all work individually,” she explained. “No collusion! The first lady and the first gentleman to bring me the six written clues will win the prizes. Now I shall give you all one clue and that should lead you to the next. When you have found it, pick up the clue—there is one for everybody—and go on to the next. The first to bring me six clues wins, and when everyone is assembled here… having completed the exercise or given up in despair, I shall make the presentation. We are grateful to the weather. Thank goodness it’s a clear night. The moon will light your way.”
People went off in different directions. There was much murmuring and suppressed laughter in the gloom.
I found the first clue easily. Perhaps I knew the way my mother’s mind worked. Moreover, I knew the house well and could have found my way about blindfolded. I would tell my mother that members of the family had an advantage over visitors and should be handicapped.
I had mounted a staircase and was in a corridor when a hand came out and seized me. I was held tightly and kissed with fervour.
“Jonathan!” I whispered.
“I was waiting to catch you.”
The door of one of the rooms was open. He drew me in and shut the door.
“It seems so long,” he said.
I could see beyond him to where a shaft of moonlight fell on the court cupboard, which was close to the bed.
“Jonathan… please… we can’t stay here.”
“Tomorrow,” he said.
“No… No… Never again.”
He laughed softly.
“How many times have you said never and how many times have I proved you wrong?”
“It has to stop. I can’t bear it.”
“And I could not bear to stop.”
“We’ve got to, Jonathan.”
“Tomorrow afternoon,” he said. “They will go riding in the afternoon. You stay behind and go to the house. I’ll see you there. Dear old Enderby… in our room. You’ll be there, Claudine.”
“No… no,” I said.
“Yes, yes,” he whispered. “Three o’clock. Oh, my darling, I do long for you.”
I wrenched myself away. We could so easily betray ourselves. What if someone came into this room and found us here together? What if David…? We must stop. We were running too many risks.
I ran down the stairs.
My mother was in the hall.
“Don’t tell me you’ve found them already.”
“No. But it has occurred to me that the family have an advantage and it is not fair to the others. We ought to be handicapped or disqualified if we win.”
“I see your point,” said my mother. “Stay here then. You look flushed and hot anyway.”
So I stayed with her. I was afraid to wander through those darkened rooms and corridors in case I met Jonathan… in case we were seen together.
I realized to the full then how I should feel if David discovered my perfidy. He must never, never know. I must forget this infatuation. I must cut it right out of my life. It was so utterly foolish… so selfish to risk so much.
Evie was the first lady to finish and Harry the first man.
“I scent collusion,” I whispered to my mother.
“It’s understandable. Evie looks different. She looks really happy.”
Evie received the ivory fan adorned with hand-painted roses and Harry the pewter tankard. There was loud applause and by that time the hall was cleared for dancing and the music began.
According to tradition my mother opened the dancing with Dickon, and David and I immediately joined them on the floor. Harry and Evie danced together and Jonathan with Millicent.
Rather mechanically I went through the minuet and the cotillion, and in spite of my fears and resolutions, when I danced with Jonathan I felt the excitement surging up in me.
“I can’t wait until tomorrow afternoon,” he said.
“I can’t come.”
“You will,” he told me.
He was laughing, his blue eyes aflame; and I felt a rising resentment because he did not suffer remorse as I did. He was perfectly contented with what was taking place.
For the first time I began to wonder whether he enjoyed this situation because of the risks and that they added a fillip to his desire. Could he really enjoy deceiving his own brother, breaking the laws of honour and convention… and of religion? Was it then that my feelings underwent a change? I felt the same urgent desire; but rather naïvely I had imagined previously that he would feel the same as I did—carried away by passion, yes, but suffering remorse and a terrible regret that our emotions had forced us to behave in such a manner.
When the guests had all departed I was glad to retire to our bedroom.
David said: “You are very tired, Claudine.”
I replied that it had been a long day.
“I think it went well,” he continued. “Your mother certainly knows how to manage these affairs. It was very different here before she married my father.” He lay down beside me and said: “Isn’t it wonderful to see two people so much in accord as they are?”
“They spar a little.”
“It is all part of that relationship, that inability-to-live-without-each-other-ness. I am so happy that they came through safely and that he brought her home and they married. Moreover it has given my grandmother absolute contentment in her old age.”
He drew me to him.
“We shall be like that, Claudine, through the years.”
I clung to him and thought: He must never know. I would rather die than he should know.
He made tender love to me and there were tears on my cheeks.
“Claudine,” he asked, “what is it? Is something wrong?”
“Oh, David,” I said, “I love you. I do love you.”
He kissed me, and after he slept I lay awake staring into the darkness.
Why had I let it happen? How could I deceive this good man?
Boxing Day, so called because those who had served us during the year called at the big house for what they called their “box,” which was, in fact, a gift of money.