Reed’s voice drew her attention. Smiling, she ran a hand over his blond hair. If the tests came back positive, she’d have to tell Ryan about him. Dread coursed through her at the thought. What would he say when he found out he’d missed out on four years of his son’s life? That Reed thought of another man as his father? It would only make things worse.
She didn’t have answers to the questions swirling in her mind. And at the moment, she didn’t want to think of them. She just wanted to focus on her sweet son’s face and remember why she was here, why she was digging for information that she may never find.
“Yes, baby?”
“I love you.”
Her face softened, and she drew him into her arms and onto her lap. “I love you, sweetheart. More than you will ever know.”
Chapter Seven
“See that?” Mitch pointed across the ravine to a fan-shaped deposit of sediments marking a dried riverbed. “It’s an alluvial fan.”
“What causes that?” Julia asked with sincere interest.
Ryan fought the urge to roll his eyes. He’d taken the day off, unable to concentrate on much of anything besides the turmoil inside him, and headed up to the mountains at Mitch’s insistence. How the hell he’d let Mitch talk him into this, he didn’t know.
“Generally, a stream drags the sediments with it, depositing them at the bottom,” Mitch explained. “Sometimes a landslide can do it.”
“Give it a rest, Mathews.” Ryan used the back of his forearm to wipe the sweat from his brow.
“The kid likes it,” Mitch said, grinning at Julia.
“Does she?”
Julia smiled his way. “The kid does.”
“I don’t know what the hell’s in the Mathews’s gene pool, but whatever it is got passed down to her.” Ryan slapped a mosquito that landed on his arm. “Son of a bitch, I’m getting eaten alive out here.”
Mitch elbowed Julia. “He’s such a city slicker.”
They both laughed.
“Enough playing in the dirt today,” Ryan announced. “I’m filthy and tired. Let’s head back.”
“Dad, you’re such a party pooper.” Julia caught up with him and grabbed his hand. He slung an arm over her shoulder as they headed down the path. Behind them, Mitch continued to shout out geologic markers they passed.
“See what you started?” Ryan mumbled.
Julia giggled. “Imagine what he’s like on a date.”
“That’s why he doesn’t date much.”
“What the hell are you two talking about up there?” Mitch hollered.
“Nothing,” Ryan shot back.
“Just the native dating rituals.” Julia giggled again.
“Or lack thereof,” Ryan added under his breath.
“You two are a bunch of comedians,” Mitch said. “Just so happens I’ve got a hot date tonight.” He winked at Julia as they climbed into his dusty Land Rover. “It’s more than I can say for your dear old pop here.”
Ryan eyed him across the console. “Who the hell would go out with you?”
“Okay, it’s not so much a date as a meeting. But if she’s as hot as you say, it could turn into a date.”
The rig bounced down the gravel road. Ryan had a sickening feeling as to where this was headed. “Please tell me you aren’t seeing Simone Conners.”
Mitch glanced in the rearview mirror. “Why not? You yourself said she was my type.”
Ryan rested his elbow on the window ledge and massaged his aching forehead. “I lied. She’s got a kid. You don’t date women with kids, remember?”
“I like kids. Look at Julia.”
“Julia’s an anomaly. Normal kids don’t give a rip about geology. Besides, I thought you were seeing some archaeologist. Redhead, looked like a model?”
Mitch shrugged. “I was. She took off on a dig. Didn’t work out.”
“Does it ever with you?”
“Hey, now. Don’t get all pissy with me just because you’re in a bad mood. Maybe Simone Conners is ‘the one’.”
Ryan let out a smug huff. “There is no ‘one’ with you, Mitch.”
“There could be. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I’m tired of chasing skirts?”
“Yeah, right. And the moon is made of cheese.”
“Hey, I have a soft side. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to cuddle now and then. It’s not always about sex.”
“If you even think about uttering the words love and marriage right now, I’ll puke.”
Mitch frowned. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, I’m sure, hot or not, she won’t go out with me. Not now, at least.”
Something in his tone and the way he checked the rearview mirror again made Ryan glance back at Julia. Her eyes were already closed, her head resting against the window.
“She’s representing Kate,” Mitch finished quietly.
Ryan’s head snapped around. “What do you mean, representing?”
“As in, Simone is Kate’s lawyer.”
“For what reason?”
“I’m not sure.” They pulled onto the highway. “Right now, it sounds like she’s the one handling the DNA testing. Once that’s done, there could be…other…legal issues.”
“Goddammit. We don’t even know anything yet, and she’s already hired herself a fucking lawyer?”
“Don’t get all worked up. Yet. You and I both think she’s Annie. If she is, there’ll be some legal things to decide.”
“You mean custody issues.” Ryan swore under his breath and looked out the window.
“She’s not gonna make a move for Julia when she doesn’t even know her.”
“Yet,” Ryan murmured. Dammit, if she was Annie, he wanted her to get to know Julia. He’d never try to block that. But he wouldn’t put up with her forcing her way in, either. “She’s not gonna waltz in here and fuck up my life. How long have you known this little bit of info?”
Mitch grimaced, keeping his eyes on the road. “A few days. Look, I’m with you on this one. I don’t think she should get custody, but Ryan, if she’s Julia’s mother, she has a right to get to know her.”
“Do you think I’d get in the way of that?”
“No, I don’t. But she doesn’t know that. If her story’s straight, then she doesn’t know a thing about us. She doesn’t know what we will or won’t do. As much as I hate it too, she was smart to get a lawyer.”
Ryan glared out the window. “I don’t want you meeting with Simone Conners.”
“That’s my call, not yours.”
Ryan felt that short leash on his emotions unraveling. “She was my wife.”
“And she was my sister. I have as much right to find out what’s going on as you do.”
“Don’t pull the I knew her longer than you did card on me, Mitch. It’s not the same, and you know it.”
“I do know it,” Mitch snapped. “But I loved her too, you son of a bitch, and I’m hurting right alone with you. And if meeting with Simone Conners can give me any hint as to what’s happening and when we’ll know more, then I’ll do it.”
Ryan clenched his jaw, looked out at the hills rushing by his window. He wasn’t pissed at Mitch. He was pissed at the whole situation. And his inability to deal with it all when everyone else seemed to be coping just fine. “Dammit, this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.”
“I know.” Mitch softened his tone. “Nothing’s happening yet. I just wanted you to be prepared for it, if it does.”
Ryan nodded, though what he wanted to do more was put his fist through the window. None of this was what he’d expected. Every time he thought about the whole fucked-up situation, something new hit him. And now all he could focus on was a possible custody battle down the road.
He wasn’t losing Julia too. She was all he had left. He’d fight to the end to keep her with him, whether Kate Alexander was his wife or not.