Pulse pounding, Ryan wrapped his arms around her and just held on. She fell against his chest, drew unsteady breaths. His lips trembled at her temple. His heart beat frantically against hers. For the first time in forever he felt…whole again.
He closed his eyes. Breathed deep. Hung on to the feeling. But when she turned her face into his shoulder, and he felt the cool tears trickle across his skin, the reality of the moment hit him.
That wasn’t what he’d meant to do. All his careful plans to woo her back had just crashed and burned, all because he hadn’t been able to control his temper. And, judging from the sobs gripping her, that wasn’t what she’d wanted, either.
“I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry. Don’t cry.” He rolled her over, brushed her hair away from her face. “Please don’t cry.”
She covered her face with both hands.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, kissing her cheeks, the corners of her mouth, wanting to do anything to make it up to her. “I’m so sorry. I—”
She pressed her fingers over his lips. “Don’t say it again. I’m not crying because I’m upset.”
He stilled. “You’re not?”
She shook her head, then slowly lowered her other hand and stared up at him. “No.”
“Then why?”
She wiped a hand across her cheek. “Because you said my name. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear it.”
He thought he’d fallen earlier, but he’d been wrong. Her sweetness overwhelmed him in a way it never had before. How could he love her more now than he had back then? Something about her today touched him in a way Annie never had. He didn’t want to think about the absurdity of what that implied. He only wanted to be with her again, to feel her and know her all over.
“Oh, Katie. Come here.”
He lifted her from the floor, carried her into her bedroom, sat on her bed, and cradled her in his lap. He nuzzled her neck, drew in her scent. Reveled in just being close to her.
“That’s not the way I wanted it for you. Not the first time.”
She rested her head against his neck, clasped her arms around his shoulders. “I’m not complaining.”
She smiled, and he kissed her, softly, gently, wanting her to feel what was in his heart.
She sighed and kissed him back. Her fingers laced through his damp hair to draw him closer.
When he eased back and looked down at her he realized one other thing he’d majorly screwed up on. His eyes slid closed. “Shit. Condoms.”
“What about them?”
“They’re in my pants pocket. After this morning I grabbed some, just in case.”
“Hopeful, were you?”
He opened his eyes, saw the humor glint in hers. She didn’t look upset, if anything she looked…amused. “I…I didn’t mean to—”
Her soft fingers landed on his lips. “Don’t apologize again. You may have started it, but I’m pretty sure I’m the one who finished it. I didn’t give you a chance to say no let alone find a condom.”
She hadn’t, that was true. His lips curled and his blood warmed at the memory.
“I won’t get pregnant, Ryan. I have it covered.”
He wanted to tell her he’d be thrilled if she wound up pregnant from tonight. Just the thought of seeing her carrying his child, getting to experience everything he’d missed out on with Reed, warmed him from the inside out. But he knew she wasn’t ready to hear that. Not yet.
“Plus,” she added. “I’ve been through every test under the sun and I can say for certain, that’s one part of my body that’s completely healthy. And I trust you. I’m not worried.”
He hated that they were having this conversation. That it was even an issue. “I was always careful. I want you to know that. If I had thought there was any chance, even a minuscule one, that you were still alive, I never would have been with anyone else.”
Her eyes darkened. “I believe you.”
He didn’t want her to believe it. He wanted her to feel it. To know she was the only one he’d ever wanted. He brushed a curl back from her face. “I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“I know that too,” she whispered.
He leaned in and kissed her, felt his heart swell when she kissed him back.
“I can do better,” he said against her lips, running his hand down the soft indent of her spine.
“Right now? Are you up for that already?”
“Babe, I’ve been up for it ever since you walked back into my life.”
When she laughed, relief swamped him. He pulled her down onto the plush, red comforter, rolled her over, kissed her again, then eased back just long enough to look down into her eyes. “Did you really think you could get rid of me so easily?”
“Too obvious?”
His fingers tangled in her hair. “You almost had me convinced, until I remembered your eyes could never lie. They still can’t.” He kissed her eyelids, slid down to her mouth, traced his tongue along her lips until she opened and drew him in.
“I’ll have to remember that,” she mumbled when they were both breathless.
“Tell me what you want,” he whispered as he ran his hand down her side, grazing his knuckles against the swell of her breast.
“I don’t want to think. I just want you to touch me like you did before. I want to forget everything but you.”
“Oh, babe. I think I can help you out there.”
“Good. Because right now, all I need is you, Ryan.”
And those were all the words he ever needed to hear.
Kate flexed her toes, stretching out her foot. She couldn’t remember a time she’d felt so relaxed, so sated, so calm. Every muscle in her body was loose and invigorated.
She glanced down at Ryan, and a smile slid across her face. His head lay pillowed on her chest, his arm draped across her waist, his legs tangled with hers. Even in sleep he didn’t seem to want to let go of her. Her fingers knotted in his hair, the silky blond tendrils tickling her skin. She’d never felt as desired, as wanted as she had the last few hours.
They’d made love twice more before he’d finally pulled her close and drifted off to sleep. Rain pelted the window outside, waves crashed against the shore in the dark, but in the confines of her little house, she was warm and content. And, for the moment, happy.
The kids were still with her parents, the phone was unplugged, and the nightmare that was her life shifted to the back of her mind. She’d deal with all that later. Right now, she just wanted to enjoy the moment, in case it didn’t last.
“Don’t,” Ryan said without moving.
Her fingers paused in his hair. “You don’t like that?”
“No, I love that. Keep doing it. Just stop thinking.”
She smiled wider. “How do you know that’s what I’m doing?”
“Babe, I can practically hear the gears grinding away in that thick skull of yours.”
“They were not,” she said playfully. “And it’s not that thick.”
A chuckle bubbled through him, one that vibrated in her own chest as he nuzzled her bare breast. “If you say this was a mistake I’m going to have to make love to you again until you stop thinking.”
“I wasn’t going to say that.”
“No, but you’re thinking it.”
“Well, of course I was thinking it. I’m a smart woman.”
With a smile, he skimmed his hand up her thigh and pressed his fingers into a pressure point in her hip. She giggled and tried to move away.
“Okay, you were warned.” His lips trailed across her chest, up to her neck. Warm hands slid up her body to caress her breasts. Arousal coursed through her again.
“You’re insatiable, you know that?” she whispered as his lips worked their way up to her ear.
“But in a good way.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. She hadn’t known she could feel this relaxed with him. Didn’t expect the warmth in her chest every time he kissed her.