Heartache ripped through her words, tearing at his soul, but he didn’t let go. Couldn’t. He pulled her tight against him.
His name was a strangled whisper from her lips. A sob tore through her. Shaky fingers grasped his face and pulled his mouth to hers. Her kiss tasted of urgency, of hunger, of desperation.
Thought slipped out of his mind as he kissed her back. This was all he needed. Just her, for the rest of his life. He could face any challenge as long as she was with him. As long as she believed in him—in them—they could get through anything.
“No,” she mumbled against his mouth. Her hands rushed down to his chest, pushing against him. Tears slipped from her eyes as her mouth broke free. “No! Don’t. Don’t touch me!”
An icy rush of air washed over him when she pushed out of his arms. “Babe—”
She held out a hand to keep him away. “Don’t call me that. You don’t get to call me that.”
He was losing her. Panic spread to bone-melting fear as a heavy weight pressed down on his chest. “Just wait. And listen.”
“You knew Jake didn’t die in that plane crash. And you didn’t tell me. You knew!” She swiped at the tears. “How could you do that?”
He swallowed, hard. “I didn’t know for sure. I suspected. And I knew if I’d told you, you’d have gone looking for him.”
“So you lied to me? Why?”
He raked a hand through his hair, tamping down the resentment at the mention of Jacob McKellen. “Because you’re my wife, not his. I needed you with me. I needed to know how you felt about me before I told you what I knew. It was wrong, and it was selfish, but I wanted more time.” When her mouth dropped open, desperation tugged at him. “Don’t you get it? I wasn’t about to let you get anywhere near him after I knew what he’d done.”
“So you let me believe a lie. You didn’t trust me enough to be honest with me.”
“No.” It was coming out wrong. She wasn’t getting it. “That’s not it. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“And this is so much better,” she mocked. Her eyes darkened. “You were working with him.”
“No.” On this, she had to believe him. “I swear, I wasn’t.”
“Don’t lie to me! I know he was in your office. I know he was a partner in Grayson Pharmaceuticals. You acquired his company. You were planning on pushing Amatroxin through the FDA. My God, was this all about the money?”
The muscles in his chest tightened. Just the thought she would believe any of that sent the pain of a thousand daggers right through his heart. “I didn’t know Amatroxin was linked to Tabofren when I went ahead with the merger. I had my suspicions.”
“So you jumped on it?” A pathetic laugh rippled through her. “You were willing to do anything to get it?”
“No. I was willing to do anything to keep it off the market. I had an idea what McKellen was planning. Grayson was in trouble. They’d dumped all their money into that drug. I stepped in to make sure Amatroxin didn’t go before the FDA. I put a stop to the process after we acquired the company. If anything, I lost money in that deal.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s the truth. That’s why McKellen showed up at my office. He was pissed that I’d terminated the project a second time.”
Disbelief swirled in her green eyes.
“Did you kill him?” she asked in a chilly tone.
“No.” When she glanced away, he set his jaw. “But I would have. If I’d known what he did to you, I’d have ripped his heart out with my bare hands.”
When she glanced back, he hoped she saw the truth in his eyes. “I would do anything for you.”
“Anything,” she whispered. “Including trying to cover up this whole mess by getting rid of Janet Kelly.”
“No.” He reached for her, but she stepped back. As his hand dropped to his side, frustration spurred his temper. “Do you honestly think I could do that?”
“Someone saw your car that morning. At her house. Before we even got there to try to talk to her. What am I supposed to believe, Ryan? You left me that morning. You said you were going to your office, but you didn’t.”
“And you believe I would go murder some woman?” Disbelief raged through him.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. Everything I thought I knew is a lie!”
That vise tightened around his heart. She didn’t believe in him, not like he needed her to. She was pulling away, putting up those barriers he’d worn down over the last week.
“I didn’t kill anyone, Katie,” he said on a sigh. “I parked in the building garage that morning and walked three blocks to a private investigator’s office downtown. Someone must have used my car while I was there.”
“That’s convenient, don’t you think?”
“It’s the truth.”
“Why were you going to see a P.I.?”
“Because I wanted to find McKellen. I wanted to know if he was the one behind all this. I needed to make sure he wasn’t planning on hurting you again.”
She dropped to a bench on the deck. Curls tumbled across her face when her head fell into her hands.
He rested his hands on his hips and clenched his jaw as he watched her. He wanted to reach for her, but she’d made it clear she didn’t want him touching her. “Are you going to ask me if I tampered with the brakes too?”
“I know you didn’t,” she whispered.
Finally. Sensibility. He ached to hold her, to reassure her. He stepped forward. “Katie—”
“Who killed him?”
“I don’t know.”
Damp lashes lifted so she could look at him. “Don’t know, or won’t tell me?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have any idea?”
“No.”
She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
Kneeling in front of her, he placed trembling hands on her thighs. “Believe in me. Believe in us. I love you. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
“Don’t you get it, Ryan?” she whispered. “You did hurt me. In the worst possible way.” Tortured emotions brewed in the depths of her emerald green eyes. “You made me fall in love with you. Then you took away the very trust that love was built on. How am I ever supposed to believe anything you say?”
The air clogged in his throat. She loved him. Her revelation was exactly what he’d wanted to hear since the day she walked back into his life, but never in a thousand years did he expect her to say it wasn’t enough.
She pushed his hands aside and rose.
Fear and heartache clawed at his soul. He was going to lose her if he didn’t do something to make this right. Rising, he fought back the tears stinging his eyes. “Katie, please.”
She wiped at her cheeks. “I can’t. I don’t even know you.”
“You do know me. You know everything that matters.” When she turned for the door, his voice hitched. “Please. I can’t lose you a second time.”
She paused with one hand on the door. “Don’t you understand, Ryan? You already did.”
“Mitch, this is ridiculous.”
Kate dropped blankets and a pillow on the couch. Calming waves tickled the shore in the moonlight outside her beach house, but the familiar sounds did nothing to settle the desolation in her heart. What she wanted was to be alone, to wallow in her misery. What she had was an overprotective brother who wasn’t giving her an ounce of space.
“Don’t even think about arguing with me on this one.” Laying a sheet over the couch, Mitch shot her a frown. “You’re not staying by yourself right now.”
Frustration curled through her. “I’m not a child. I can take care of myself.”
“Would you just stop arguing? You always were a pest when you set your mind to something.” He tossed the pillow at the end of the couch, fluffed a blanket over the cushions.