Anger and jealousy surged up in Manna's chest. She thought two of the orderlies were quite good-looking and must have been attractive to most men, especially the one nicknamed Snow Goose. That young woman had been transferred to this hospital five months ago on account of an affair with a senior officer at Shenyang Military Headquarters. She had been an actress in an opera troupe there and was sent down to this remote city after the officer's wife had written a dozen letters to his superiors, threatening to publicize the scandal if they didn't punish "the itching bitch." Observing Snow Goose now from a distance of twenty yards, Manna noticed her neck was indeed white and long like a goose's, partly covered by jet-black hair. Her nose quivered and she couldn't stop smiling at the teacher. There must have been something wrong with this woman, who seemed unable to live without seducing a man, like a weasel spirit. Manna had heard that at work one night Snow Goose had wandered about in her white gown without any underclothes on. Some male patients must have smelled something in her and would follow her whenever she was within sight.
The more Manna looked at that woman's bewitching face, the more miserable she became. What angered her most was that pair of apricot eyes, which hadn't left Lin since Manna began observing her. How she hated her, and hated them all! Lin was no good either. He obviously enjoyed flirting with these young women. Shameless, he could be their father. Small wonder he was so eager to leave home the moment he put down his chopsticks. Their home was no more than a guesthouse to him – he just went back to eat and sleep. Damn him! Damn them all!
The rain turned heavy, larger raindrops falling on the greenish tiles and the concrete ground with a thickening, crushing sound. Two women in the lecture room stood up and came to the windows to close them, so Manna swung around, heading home. Her legs felt weak like water.
Manna ran into Commissar Su the next morning on her way to work. Since they had been on friendly terms, she asked him why the hospital couldn't use somebody else to teach the chemistry course. As a pregnant wife she needed her husband to stay home in the evening. For a moment Ran Su was bewildered by her question, saying he had never heard of such a class, not to mention assigning Lin the work. Indeed there were a good number of recent college graduates available; why should they bother Lin with it?
"Don't worry, I'll look into this matter," he said to her as they parted company. His bowlegs seemed more bent than last year.
Commissar Su's answer surprised Manna, and she wondered who had assigned Lin to teach the class. The night before, after returning from the medical building and arguing with herself for two hours, she had decided not to confront Lin, as she remembered the price he had paid for their home. It would be unimaginable that Lin was not serious about their marriage. Otherwise he wouldn't have waited for her so many years and struggled so hard to obtain the divorce. In no way could he be a frivolous man. But now that she had met Ran Su and found out the class was not officially established, Manna changed her mind. She wanted to question Lin so as to get to the bottom of this.
"Lin, I want ask you something," she said after lunch.
"What?"
"Who told you to teach the chemistry class?"
"They asked me to help."
"Who did?"
"Those orderlies who want to take the exams. They went to my office the other day and asked me to give them a crash course."
"So no one assigned you the job?"
"No. They begged me and I agreed to help."
"Then why didn't you talk with me before you agreed?"
"Did I have to?" he asked derisively. Behind the lenses his eyes again glinted with the hard light she dreaded.
"This is our home, not a guesthouse where you can check out as you please."
"I know. " He looked annoyed.
She broke into tears and spoke toward the ceiling. "Heavens, as if he really has no idea what he's been doing. How can I make him understand!"
"What's wrong? They asked me for help, why shouldn't I help them?"
"Let me tell you what's wrong. You have a pregnant wife moping alone and worried sick at home, while you're having a good time with other women."
"That's not fair. I didn't spend time with any woman. "
"Who are those orderlies then? Who's Snow Goose? A gentleman?"
"Come on, you're being unreasonable."
"This is not a matter of reason but of feelings. Let me tell you this: no decent husband would do such a thing to his wife."
"Well, I've never thought of that." He sounded quite innocent.
She went into the bedroom, burying her face in a pillow stuffed with duck down. He sat smoking for a while. Then he wiped clean the dining table and did the dishes. Without a word he left for work.
For a whole afternoon Manna was fidgety, unsure whether Lin would come home for dinner and whether he would continue to go out in the evening. She even blamed herself. Maybe she shouldn't have blown up like that. He must think of her as a jealous shrew now. Had he really changed his heart about her? Probably he had become so tired of her that he had begun running after another woman. No, he couldn't be so heartless. Then what did he really want?
The more she thought, the more agitated she became. Yet deep down, she felt she was not wrong.
She made wontons for dinner, hoping he would come home on time. She boiled a pot of water and waited for him. Lin returned at six sharp as usual. How relieved she was at the sight of him; without delay she dropped the pork wontons into the boiling water.
As the pot was seething, she shredded two sheets of dried laver, cut a tiny bunch of cilantro, and put them into a large tureen. Meanwhile Lin placed spoons, bowls, and cups of soy sauce and vinegar on the dining table, saying she should have waited for him so that he could prepare the stuffing and help her make wonton wrappers.
"I didn't know when you'd be back," she told him, although that was only partially true. She had worried that he might not come home for dinner at all.
When the wontons were cooked, she poured them, together with the water, into the tureen, then dropped in a spoonful of chili oil and stirred the soup counterclockwise for a moment with a stainless steel ladle.
Dinner was ready. Lin carried the tureen to the dining room, which was also their living room.
While eating, Lin said he had seen Ran Su in the afternoon. Actually they had talked for a long time about women. "It was a nice chat," he told her.
"Who did you talk about?"
"Just women in general."
"So he thinks I'm out of my mind?"
"Oh no, he said I was in the wrong and I didn't understand you."
"What did he say exactly?"
"He said a woman couldn't live long without attention and love. "
She tittered, amused that the commissar could talk that way. No wonder he was so patient with his crazy wife. She said, "That's not true. How about nuns?"
"Well, " Lin paused, then went on, "they have the attention of monks, don't they?"
They both laughed.
"Manna," he said, " if I had known you'd feel so strongly about my teaching the class, I'd never have agreed to do it."
Seeing the honest look on his face, Manna smiled and told him never to make such a decision on his own. They should always discuss it first. "A married couple must work like a team," she said.
From that day on, he would stay home in the evening to prepare the lessons. Because the class was already in motion, it was impossi ble to change and he had to go to teach it twice a week. Though Manna was glad about the reconciliation, the two lonely evenings each week still irritated her. Sometimes she felt depressed when he wasn't home, and she couldn't help imagining how to give him a piece of her mind.
8
As her belly bulged out in the summer, Manna grew more grumpy. She resented Lin's absence from home two evenings a week. She knew the class would be over soon, but she couldn't help herself, treating him as though he were having an affair. Her peevish face often reminded Lin of what she had said the day after their wedding, "I wish you were paralyzed in bed, so you'd stay with me all the time."