Waldo

‘And have you insult ‘em when we get there? Huh-uh.

‘I'll be sweet as sugar.

‘Well, Jimmie Stevens said something yesterday about wanting to see you.

Waldo grinned. ‘Get him. I'd like to see him.

‘I'll try.

‘Call me back. Make it soon.

Waldo met them in the reception room, which he had left uncentrifuged. As soon as they came in he started his act. ‘My, I'm glad you're here. Dr Stevens - could you fly me down to Earth rightaway? Something's comeup.

‘Why - I suppose so.

‘Let's go.

‘Wait a minute, Waldo. Jimmie's not prepared to handle you the way you have to be handled.

‘I'll have to chance it, Uncle Gus. This is urgent.

‘But-

‘No "buts". Let's leave at once.

They bustled Baldur into the ship and tied him down. Grimes saw to it that Waldo's chair was tilted back in the best approximation of a deceleration rig. Waldo settled himself into it and closed his eyes to discourage questions. He sneaked a look and found Grimes grimly silent. Stevens made very nearly a record trip, but set them down quite gently on the parking flat ovcr Grimes's home. Grimes touched Waldo's arm. ‘How do you feel? I'll get someone and we'll get you inside. I want to get you to bed.

‘Can't do that, Uncle Gus. Things to do. Give me your arm, will you?

‘Huh?' But Waldo reached for the support requested and drew himself up

‘I'll be all right now, I guess.' He let go the physician's arm and started for the door. ‘Will you untie Baldur?

‘Waldo!

He turned around, grinning happily. ‘Yes, Uncle Gus, it's true. I'm not weak any more. I can walk.

Grimes took hold of the back of one of the seats and said shakily, ‘Waldo, I'm an old man. You ought not to do things like this to me.' He wiped at his eyes

‘Yes,' agreed Stevens, ‘it's a damn dirty trick.

Waldo looked blankly from one face to the other. ‘I'm sorry,' he said humbly. ‘I just wanted to surprise you.

‘It's all right. Let's go downside and have a drink. You can tell us about it then.

‘All right. Come on, Baldur.' The dog got up and followed after his master. He had a very curious gait; Waldo's trainer gadget had taught him to pace instead of trot

Waldo stayed with Grimes for days, gaining strength, gaining new reflex patterns, building up his flabby muscles. He had no setbacks; the myasthenia was gone. All he required was conditioning

Grimes had forgiven him at once for his unnecessarily abrupt and spectacular revelation of his cure, but Grimes had insisted that he take it easy and become fully readjusted before he undertook to venture out unescorted. It was a wise precaution. Even simple things were hazards to him. Stairs, for example. He could walk on the level, but going downstairs had to be learned. Going up was not so difficult

Stevens showed up one day, let himself in, and found Waldo alone in the living room, listening to a stereo show. ‘Hello, Mr Jones.

‘Oh - hello, Dr Stevens.' Waldo reached down hastily, fumbled for his shoes, zipped them on. ‘Uncle Gus says I should wear them all the time,' he explained. ‘Everybody does. But you caught me unawares.

‘Oh, that's no matter. You don't have to wear them in the house. Where's Doc?

‘Gone for the day. Don't you, really? Seems to me my nurses always wore shoes.

‘Oh yes, everybody does - but there's no law to make you.

‘Then I'll wear them. But I can't say that I like them. They feel dead, like a pair of disconnected waldoes. But I want to learn how.

‘How to wear shoes?

‘How to act like people act. It's really quite difficult,' he said seriously

Stevens felt a sudden insight, a welling of sympathy for this man with no background and no friends. It must be odd and strange to him. He felt an impulse to confess something which had been on his mind with respect to Waldo. ‘You really are strong now, aren't you?

Waldo grinned happily. ‘Getting stronger every day. I gripped two hundred pounds this morning. And see how much fat I've worked off.

‘You're looking fit, all right. Here's a funny thing. Ever since I first met you I've wished to high heaven that you were as strong as an ordinary man.

‘You really did? Why?

‘Well . .. I think you will admit that you used some pretty poisonous language to me, one time and another. You had me riled up all the time. I wanted you to get strong so that I could just beat the hell out of you.

Waldo had been walking up and down, getting used to his shoes. He stopped and faced Stevens. He seemed considerably startled. ‘You mean you wanted to fist-fight me?

‘Exactly. You used language to me that a man ought not to use unless he is prepared to back it up with his fists. If you had not been an invalid I would have pasted you one, oh, any number of times.

Waldo seemed to be struggling with a new concept. ‘I think I see,' he said slowly. ‘Well - all right.' On the last word he delivered a roundhouse swipe with plenty of power behind it. Stevens was not in the least expecting it; it happened to catch him on the button. He went down. out cold

When he came to he found himself in a chair. Waldo was shaking him. ‘Wasn't that right?' he said anxiously

‘What did you hit me with?

‘My hand. Wasn't that right? Wasn't that what you wanted?

‘Wasn't that what I-' He still had little bright lights floating in front of his eyes, but the situation began to tickle him. ‘Look here - is that your idea of the proper way to start a fight?

‘Isn't it?

Stevens tried to explain to him the etiquette of fisticuffs, contemporary American. Waldo seemed puzzled, but finally he nodded. ‘I get it. You have to give the other man warning. All right - get up, and we'll do it over.

‘Easy, easy! Wait a minute. You never did give me a chance to finish what I was saying. I was sore at you, but I'm not any more. That is what I was trying to tell you. Oh, you were utterly poisonous; there is no doubt about that. But you couldn't help being.

‘I don't mean to be poisonous,' Waldo said seriously

‘I know you don't, and you're not. I rather like you now -now that you're strong.

‘Do you really?

‘Yes, I do. But don't practise any more of those punches on me.

‘ Iwon't. But I didn't understand. But, do you know, Dr Stevens, it's-

‘Call inc Jim.

‘Jim. It's a very hard thing to know just what people do expect. There is so little pattern to it. Take belching; I didn't know it was forbidden to burp when other people are around. It seems obviously necessary to me. But Uncle Gus says not.

Stevens tried to clear up the matter for him - not too well, as he found that Waldo was almost totally lacking in any notion, even theoretical, of social conduct. Not even from fiction had he derived a concept of the intricacies of mores, as he bad read almost no fiction. He had ceased reading stories in his early boyhood, because he lacked the background of experience necessary to appreciate fiction

He was rich, powerful, and a mechanical genius, but he still needed to go to kindergarten

Waldo had a proposition to make. ‘Jim, you've been very helpful. You explain these things better than Uncle Gus does. I'll hire you to teach me.

Stevens suppressed a slight feeling of pique. ‘Sorry. I've got a job that keeps me busy.

‘Oh, that's all right. I'll pay you better than they do. You can name your own salary. It's a deal.