"I'm going to find her, Sister."
Sister Cashel Logan gave me a small smile.
"I'll pray that you do, Atticus."
CHAPTER
Twenty-two When we were waiting in the security line at Kennedy for our flight the next morning, Bridgett leaned in over my shoulder, whispering, "So what happens if I tell them Anthony Shephard is a guy named Atticus Kodiak?"
I gave it a second's thought. "I don't know. Want to try it?"
She snorted the exact same way Alena would've done had I said the same thing to her.
We cleared security without a problem. In keeping with my newly established tradition, I used Vladek's BlackBerry, with a new SIM I'd purchased the previous day, to call the Londonskaya as we were waiting at the gate to board. Bridgett had gone off in search of a Starbucks, leaving me alone for the time being; at least, she'd claimed to be searching for a Starbucks. She might've been serious about ratting me out to the TSA, but that didn't seem very likely.
Alena answered before the second ring, and I told her where I was, and what the plan was, and who I was sending to back her up. When I gave the name, Alena swore in Russian.
"She hates me."
"She talks a good game."
"Logan hates me, Atticus. How can I trust her?"
"So maybe she hates you. At least you know where you stand with her. I trust her. She'd never have agreed if she wasn't willing to see this through."
"Perhaps." She went silent. It stretched long enough I began to wonder if the call had dropped. Then Alena said, "Did you tell her?"
"Yeah. She was overjoyed for us."
"You are lying."
"Yeah, I am," I said, catching sight of Bridgett returning to the gate, a frighteningly large paper cup in one hand. "I'm gonna go. I'll call you from London, give you her ETA."
"You're not coming with her?"
"No. Trabzon."
"Of course. I will wait to hear from you."
She hung up, and I stowed the phone back in my pocket as Bridgett resumed the seat next to me. She popped the top off the cup, releasing a cloud of steam, took a sip, then sighed.
"Black bean of life," Bridgett said. "Never used to like coffee, now I drink it all the time."
"You're off the Altoids?" I asked. When I'd known her, she was always popping one sort of candy or another, always carrying a roll of Life Savers or a tin of some flavor of mint in a pocket. She took them the way smokers took cigarettes, but instead of feeding an addiction, it had been her way of fighting one.
"Couple years ago."
"No kidding?"
"I went to the dentist, he took one look at my molars and started pricing new cars. I had fractures in three of them, had to get crowns made. That pretty much put an end to that."
"Ah," I said.
"Was that her? On the phone?"
"Yeah."
"She knows I'm coming."
"She does now."
"And?"
"She was overjoyed," I said.
"You're a fucking liar."
I grinned.
"What's so fucking funny?"
"Nothing. Never mind."
She glared at me, but I wasn't going to add anything more. After a couple seconds, she gave it up, and went back to savoring her coffee. Somewhere about halfway across the Atlantic, Bridgett woke me with a not-so-gentle punch to my shoulder. The cabin lights had been dimmed, and everyone else in business class was either dozing or hiding behind their sleep masks and noise-canceling headsets. I fumbled my glasses into place, focused on Bridgett, staring at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing," she said. "I just wanted to hit you."
I took my glasses off, readjusted the inadequate pillow beneath my cheek. "Fine."
"Dick."
I nodded, pretended to go back to sleep. She let me maintain the charade for about a minute.
"You know what pisses me off most?" she asked.
"That I'm still breathing," I said.
"That I missed you."
I rolled my head to look at her, blurry without my corrective lenses. She had the aisle seat, taken for the slight advantage in leg room she could eke out of it.
"I missed you, too," I said.
"I don't love you."
"I didn't say you did."
"No, I'm saying I don't love you, not anymore. I think I did, once. I thought I did. I tried."
"I know you did."
"Maybe you do, but it took me a while to get there." She shifted in her seat, trying to adjust her hips, wincing. "For a long time-I mean a long fucking time-I thought you'd chosen her over me."
"I did."
"Wow," Bridgett said. "That was cold."
"You want me to lie to you?"
"No, actually. That's the last thing I want you to do. Seriously."
I put my glasses on once more, straightened up, remembering. Bridgett and I had tried to be lovers, before I'd ever met Alena. We'd tried very hard at it, in fact. But it hadn't worked, even when it looked like it had, and when Alena entered my life, that had become abundantly clear. Who Alena was had simply provided a convenient, if reasonable, excuse.
"You seeing anyone?" I asked Bridgett.
"Yeah, actually. That surprise you?"
"Not if it's on your terms."
That got a grin. "He's like me. Doesn't want to settle down. We call each other, email, video chat on the computer. Comes into town for two, three weeks at a time, and we have a good time together, and then he goes off and I go back to my life. I don't have to change anything for him."
"I'm happy for you."
She heard the sincerity, and accepted it, and we started talking then, in a way we never had back when we'd pretended we were sharing everything with each other. She had questions, a lot of them, and I discovered that I did, as well. We talked until England rolled out beneath us, our voices low. We remembered friends who had died, and she told me what she knew about the ones who were still living, but of all but one of them, she knew very little, having long since lost touch. Over the one we still shared, a young woman named Erika Wyatt, she scolded me, telling me that I owed her contact.
As the plane began its descent in earnest, we came around to where we started.
"You say you picked her over me."
"No, you said I picked her over you. I just agreed."
"It's the same thing, asshole."
"If you say so."
"There never really was a choice to make, though, was there?" Bridgett asked.
"I don't think you get to pick who you fall in love with," I said. "Just what you do once you've fallen."
"Oh, wow, that's deep." She reached for the pouch on the seatback by her knees. "I need an airsick bag, I'm going to puke."
"Let me know when you're done."
"You believe that?"
"Maybe. Sure sounds good," I said.
Bridgett Logan shook her head, bemused. "Seven fucking years to turn you all hardcore. And beneath it all, you're still the same."
"Am I?" I asked, because I sure as hell didn't feel it.
"Yeah," Bridgett Logan said. "You're still a hopeless fucking romantic."
CHAPTER
Twenty-three There's an old cop saw, goes like this.
Question: How do you catch a drug dealer for the fiftieth time after he's walked free the other forty-nine?
Answer: You buy drugs from him.
Habits don't change, and even if I'd managed to give Arzu's business a bloody nose two and a half weeks earlier-something I had every reason to doubt-there was no way he'd quit and turned over a new leaf. If he had been rousted when I'd called the police on him, he certainly would have been released quickly enough, once the appropriate palms had been greased. Back on the street, he wasn't going to stop pimping, and he wasn't going to stop trafficking. The way I saw it, in fact, there were only two options. Either Arzu would return to what he'd been doing with a vengeance, eager to make up lost money and lost time, or he would return to what he'd been doing with more caution, for fear of getting burned.
I had no doubt that he knew he'd been burned, and that it'd been I who'd burned him. The attack on the house in Kobuleti guaranteed that. But when my initial searches for him in Trabzon turned up nothing, I assumed-incorrectly-that was because he had gone to ground. Maybe Arzu had heard that Kobuleti hadn't gone as well as he would've liked. Maybe he knew that three more of his and Vladek Karataev's associates were dead. He'd been greedy when I'd met him, but that wasn't the same thing as stupid. Knowing his efforts to punish me had failed, he would have concluded that the trail from Kobuleti would lead straight back to him.