“Come on, come on—you never know who you might meet tonight! You don’t want to meet Prince Charming with flat hair, do you?” Mimi reasoned as she forced Sophia to flip her hair over to “get some lift at the crown.” You didn’t argue—you just let her do it.
“I’m not flat anywhere. If these girls are on display, Prince Charming won’t even notice I have hair,” Sophia muttered, which sent me into another gale of giggles. Then over our laughter, I heard voices from next door. I got up off the bed and went closer to the wall where I could hear better. This time instead of just Simon, there were two other distinctly male voices. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but suddenly Guns N’
Roses came blaring through the walls loud enough to make Sophia and Mimi stop what they were doing.
“What the hell is that?” Sophia snapped, looking wildly around the room.
“Simon’s a GN’R fan, I guess.” I shrugged, secretly enjoying being welcomed to the jungle. I put a headband low on my forehead and did Axl’s crab dance back and forth, much to the delight of Mimi and the scorn of Sophia.
“No, no, no—that’s not it, fool,” Sophia scolded over the music and grabbed another headband. Mimi screamed with laughter as Sophia and I Axl-battled. Until, of course, Sophia started to mess up her hair. Then Mimi lunged. Sophia jumped on the bed to get away from her, and I joined her. We jumped up and down, shrieking the lyrics now and dancing wildly. Mimi finally gave in, and all three of us danced like mad fools. I started to feel the bed moving underneath us, and I realized it was banging merrily against the wall —Simon’s wall.
“Take that! And that! And a little of…that! No one’s banging on my walls, huh? Hahahahaha!” I shrieked crazily as Mimi and Sophia watched in amazement. Sophia climbed off the bed, and she and Mimi clutched each other as they laughed and I thumped. I rocked back and forth like I was surfing, driving my headboard into the wall again and again.
The music cut off suddenly, and I dropped like I’d been shot. Mimi and Sophia clasped their hands over each other’s mouths while I lay flat on the bed, biting my own knuckle to keep from laughing. The frenzy in the room was like when you got caught TP-ing someone’s house, or laughing in the back of church. You couldn’t stop, and you couldn’t not stop.
Bang bang bang.
No way. He was banging at me?
Bang bang bang.
He was banging at me…
Bang bang bang! I gave as good as I got. I couldn’t believe he had the balls to try to get me to quiet down. I heard male voices chuckling.
Bang bang bang came once more, and my temper flared.
Oh, he really was an asshole…
I looked at the girls incredulously, and they jumped back on the bed with me.
Bang bang bang bang we pounded, six furious fists raining down on the plaster.
Bang bang bang bang came back to us—much, much louder this time. His boys must have gotten in on the action.
“Give it up, mister! No sex for you!” I yelled at the wall as my girls cackled maniacally.
“Tons of sex for me, sister. None for you!” he yelled all too clearly through the wall.
I raised my fists to bang once more. Bang bang ba-bang bang rang out from my side.
Bang bang! A single fist answered back, and then all was silent.
“Oooohhhhh!” I screamed at the wall, and I could hear Simon and his boys laughing.
Mimi, Sophia, and I stared wide-eyed at each other until we heard a tiny sigh from behind us.
We turned to see Clive sitting on the dresser. He stared back at us, sighed again, and proceeded to lick his bum.
“The nerve, I mean, the mother-loving nerve of that guy! He has the balls to actually bang on my wall, on my wall? I mean, God what an—”
“Asshole, we know,” Mimi and Sophia said in unison as I continued my rant.
“Yes, an asshole!” I continued, still worked up. We were in the car on the way to Jill ian’s party. The car service had arrived promptly at eight thirty, and we were soon headed over the bridge.
As I looked out at the twinkling lights of Sausalito, I began to calm down a little. I refused to let that guy upset me. I was out with my two best friends, about to attend a fantastic housewarming hosted by the best boss in the world. And if we were lucky, her fiancé would let us see the pictures of him when he was a swimmer in college, back when swimmers still just wore tiny Speedos. We would sigh and gaze endlessly until Jill ian made us put them away. And then she would usually put Benjamin away too—for the night.
“I’m telling you, I have a really good feeling about tonight. I feel like something’s going to happen,” Mimi mused, staring thoughtfully out the window.
“Something’s going to happen, all right. We’ll have a great time, drink way too much, and I’ll probably try to cop a feel off Caroline on the car ride home,” Sophia said, winking at me.
“Mmm, sugar,” I teased, and she blew me a kiss.
“Oh, would you two forget your pseudo-lesbian romance? I’m being serious here,” she continued, sighing in the Harlequin romance voice she used sometimes.
“Who knows? Not sure about me, but maybe you’ll meet your Prince Charming tonight,” I whispered, smiling back at her hopeful face. Mimi was certainly the most romantic of the three of us. She was steadfast in her belief that everyone had a soulmate.
Eh…I’d just settle for my Soul-O.
When we pulled up to Benjamin and Jill ian’s house, there were cars parked everywhere along the winding street, and Japanese lanterns and luminary bags lined the property. Like most houses set into the hilly landscape, from the street there was nothing to look at. We giggled as we made our way through the gate, and I smiled when the girls stared at the contraption before us. I’d seen the plans for this, but had yet to take a ride.
“What kind of fucked-up rickshaw is this?” Sophia blurted, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Jill ian and Benjamin had designed and installed a hill evator, basically an elevator that went up and down the hill. Very practical when you considered the amount of steps it took to reach the house.
Their hill side front yard was blanketed with terraced gardens and benches and various garden scenes, all artfully arranged on flagstone paths lit with tiki torches that led down the hill to the house. But for grocery shopping and other less-leisurely approaches, the hill evator made for a much easier ride.
“Would you ladies care to use the lift or make your way down the path?” an attendant asked, appearing from the other side of the carriage.
“You mean, ride in that thing?” Mimi squeaked.
“Sure, that’s what it’s made for. Come on,” I encouraged, stepping through the little door that he’d opened in the side. It really felt like a ski lift, except that it was going down a hill instead of up in the air.
“Yeah, okay, let’s do it,” said Sophia, climbing in behind me and plopping down on the seat. Mimi shrugged and followed.
“There’ll be someone at the bottom waiting for you. Enjoy the party, ladies.” He smiled, and we were off.
As we rode down the hill, the house rose up to meet us. Jill ian had created a purely magical world here, and as there were huge windows throughout the house, we could see into the party as we continued our descent.
“Wow, there’s a lot of people here,” Mimi noted, her eyes huge. The sounds of a jazz band on one of the many patios below came tinkling up to us.
I felt a little fluttering in my tummy as the cart came to a stop and another attendant came to open the door. As we filed out and our heels click-clacked across the flagstone, I could hear Jill ian’s voice from inside the house and immediately smiled.
“Girls! You made it!” she called as we walked in.
I turned in the space, taking it all in at once. The house was almost like a triangle, set into the hill side and sprawling outward. Deep mahogany wood floors spread out beneath us, and the clean lines of the walls contrasted beautifully. Jill ian’s personal taste was a comfortable modern, and the colors in the house reflected the colors of the surrounding hill side: warm leafy greens, rich earthy browns, soft muted creams, and hints of deep marine blue.