WANTED
By
Kelly Elliott
Published by Kelly Elliott
Copyright © 2012 by Kelly Elliott
ISBN 978-0-988-7074-0-5
http://authorkellyelliott.blogspot.com/
This book is a work of fiction. Characters, places and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, places, or events is purely coincidental.
Cover photo taken by Rutheah Rodehorst with Blue House Fotos
www.bluehousefotos.com
THANK YOU…..
The first person I have to thank is Arianna Howard. Your input and support meant more to me than you will ever, ever know! Thank you for reading the endless tidbits I sent you and giving me your honest feedback. You are the bestest best friend EVER and Jeff will always be yours! (Insert two girls wearing leotards HERE!)
R.L. Mathewson you are by far one my favorite authors and I admire you so much! You are one very talented woman and I count myself as one lucky bitch to be able to call you my friend. Thank you, for everything!
Molly McAdams you rock! Thank you so much for your support and help and for our weekly lunch dates! You make me laugh my ass off but you still made me ugly cry AND almost break my nook! But I still love ya.
Lynda Ybarra, thank you for answering all my stupid questions and helping me so much! Love ya!
Pat Winn, Ari Howard, Elizabeth Bartell and Susan Sunderlin, thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy lives to read and edit this book! Without your support and help I would still be doing edits!
Rutheah Rodehorst with Blue House Fotos. Your picture truly made me catch my breath the moment I saw it. You are an amazing photographer and a sweetheart of a lady! Thank you so much for letting me share your talent!
Paige and Drew…. Your picture is breathtaking! Thank you so much for allowing me to use it for the cover of my book!
To all the girls on the BDHM board. OMG…..I love you all and would be lost without you girls. I hope you know that! I wish I could list each of you and tell you why I love you. Thank you for your endless support and posts that make me laugh my ass off every day! I love you girls so much! Ka-Chow!
This book is dedicated to my husband Darrin and my daughter Lauren.
If it were not for you Darrin I could never have dreamed up Gunner and Jefferson. Thank you for letting me share a little bit of you with the world. They truly broke the mold with you and everyone is right…… you really are different. Thank you so much for your never ending love and support in everything that I do. Oh and thank you for giving me your star wish!! I love you Darrin so so very much and yes….I really do love you MORE! HA!
Lauren, first let me just publicly say I am sorry for the 1 or 2 or maybe 6ish times I pulled your uniform out of the dirty clothes and sprayed it down with perfume and gave it to you to wear to school. Or the few times you might have gone without dinner while I was wrapped up in Gunner and Ellie. Turkey lunch meat and popcorn was a fun dinner thought wasn’t it?! Just remember all those trips to Dairy Queen when I gave in and took you! I love you Lauren…… always stay true to yourself and follow your dreams.
Mom…. There is not a day goes by that I do not think about you. I miss you………
PROLOGUE
Ellie seven years old…..
I stood crying against the wall. Mommy was acting weird again and it was scaring me. This is how she acts when she drinks the bad stuff that Jefferson calls beer. I just want to run and get away before she sees me again and yells. She said she was going to make me cookies and that we would go to the park to swing on the swings. I was so happy thinking about how much fun we would have.
Mommy had been mad ever since her friend called. She told me we were not going to the park today because she was feeling sad and needed a drink.
“You would not have fun at the park Ellie anyway.” But I knew I would especially because I loved the swings at school. I wish Jefferson was home; my tummy hurts so bad and I’m so hungry.
Then she screamed out my name…. “Ellie!” I jumped and quickly wiped the tears away. If she saw me crying she would just get mad at me again. I walked up to her very slowly.
She was sitting at the kitchen table with her face in her hands. “Y, yes Mommy?” She looked up at me and frowned. I know who she is thinking of when she looks at me that way. She tells me all the time I have his eyes. Jefferson says my eyes are like the blue like the sky.
Mommy has pretty dark brown hair. My hair is much lighter than mommy’s. Jefferson likes to brush my hair and always tells me how pretty I am and that I am a princess. He said some day my prince will come and save me and take me away from this bad place. Mommy never tells me I am pretty, she just tells me I look like my daddy. She hates my daddy.
”Ellie, Ellie, Ellie” she said her Ls really funny, like she was having a hard time saying them.
“Do you know that you will never be wanted? No one will ever love you, just like I have never been loved. No man will ever really want you. You need to know that now. I wish someone would have told me that, fuck it would have saved me a lot of pain.”
Mommy was still talking funny. Did she not want me anymore?
“Mommy, I’m sorry for whatever I did. Please don’t be mad at me. Please want me mommy!” I cried out. She just started to laugh and then she put her head back in her hands and told me to get out of her sight. I had a funny feeling in my chest and my tummy. Why was it so hard for me to breathe? I walked over to the corner in the kitchen and sat down.
When will Jefferson get home? I just want Jefferson……I need Jefferson.
“You will never be wanted by anyone……remember that Ellie darlin’, remember that”……
Nine years later……
Bryce had brought me to my favorite pizza shop for my sixteenth birthday. I was so excited. We’d been dating for four months now and he was just so sweet, he only ever kissed me and never tried to take it further which was so nice. He said he loved how innocent I was.
While we waited on our pizza I excused myself and went to the restroom. I was standing at the sink when a girl with beautiful blonde hair walked in. I recognized her from school. I think she was in eleventh grade like Bryce.
I smiled as she walked up to me but she gave me a sad smile in return.
“Ellie Johnson right?”
“Yes, I’m sorry, I recognize you but I can’t place your name.”
“That’s okay; I wouldn’t really expect you to know who I am Ellie. My name is Denise Watkins.”
Oh, I’ve heard of this girl. Ari said she was easy and that every guy with a working penis had fucked her.
“Ellie, I really like you. I like how sweet and kind you are to everyone. I wish I could be more like you.”
WHAT? Where the hell is this coming from?
“Um, thank you Denise that’s very sweet of you to say that.”
“Ellie, I am going to cut to the chase here. Do you know where Bryce was last night? I only ask because I think you deserve the truth.”
I shook my head yes. I had a very bad feeling about where this was going.
My mother’s words popped into my head.
You will never be wanted by anyone……..
“Yes, he was um, he was at a study group at Melissa’s house last night.”
Denise looked sad. Her eyes filled with tears and she looked away from me.
“No he wasn’t Ellie.”
“How do you know that?”
She lowered her head and I could see the tears falling from her eyes. Oh holy hell.
“I know because he was fucking me in the backseat of his car last night.”