I was not expecting him to say that. It felt like at least one hundred butterflies went off in my stomach. Would he ever want that life with…..me?
“So, no pro football even though you have teams trying to get you signed on?” I asked as I fiddled with my hands.
“No Ells, no pro football. I don’t want to be away from the people I love. Especially with my grandparents getting older I want to be here for them. Take the burden off of them with the ranch and I if I am really blessed I hope to give them great grandkids.”
“Oh wow….um…that sounds wonderful Gunner.” I turned to open the door to get out of the jeep but Gunner grabbed my hand and stopped me.
He started to laugh. “Well that’s not really fair. You get to ask me about my future, what about yours?”
What was I going to say? Oh well okay…I have only known you for a little over a month now but I want to marry you and have your kids and live out here on your family’s ranch. Yeah that would scare him the fuck off!
“Well I guess I’m not really sure where I see my future. I’m starting college soon so I guess that is really about as far as I’m thinking right now just going to college.” I said with a shrug of my shoulders.
Gunner’s face fell and it looked like he was devastated. What the hell? What did I say wrong?
He slowly gave me a small smile and let go of my hand. He got out of the jeep so fast I almost didn’t see him grab the basket and head to the front door.
OH SHIT! I guess I pretty much just told him I didn’t think I saw him in my future.
OH NO! FUCK!
“Gunner wait a minute! That’s not the truth, that’s not the truth at all.”
“It’s okay Ellie, we have different ideas about our future it’s not that big of a deal.” He said as he turned to walk away. How could he say that? Why would he say that?
“Gunner please stop! Don’t walk away from me after what just happened between us.”
Gunner stopped and turned to look at me. “I would never walk away from you Ellie. Ever…..”
I walked up to him and stood on the porch next to him. I was scared out of my mind to tell him what I really saw but I knew I had to. For some reason I had to let him know I saw the same future and I just prayed to God that it was me he saw in his future like it was him I saw in mine.
“Gunner, this is all moving so fast for me and…well….. it was huge for me to tell you how I feel about you. I’m so scared; you have no idea how scared I am. I love you! I love you with all of my heart and the moment I got out of your truck earlier today all I could think about was being here, right here on this ranch, sitting on this porch with you and watching sunsets and sunrises with you and seeing our kids running all over the place and Emma teaching me how to make all your favorite foods. I have not been able to stop thinking about it all day and it scares the fuck out me!” I just spilled all that out and Gunner was just standing there staring at me with no emotion on his face. I had to sit down.
Oh shit…I think I’m going to throw up! Oh god I can’t breathe!
I walked over and sat down on one of the chairs. I leaned my head down into my hands and cursed myself for being so stupid! How could I lay my whole heart out there like that? OH MY GOD….
You will never be wanted by anyone……………..
I heard Gunner put the basket down and walk over to me. He got down on his knees and just stayed like that. What was he waiting for? What was he doing? I slowly lifted my head to look at him. What was I going to see? Probably pity in his eyes….just because he said he loves me doesn’t mean he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
When I looked up I let out a gasp. Gunner had tears streaming down his face! Holy hell……
“Gunner…..what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The next thing I knew he put his head down in my lap and just…..cried. I was shocked. I picked up my hand and started running it through his hair. Why in the world was he so upset?
“Gunner I’m so sorry if I made you upset I…I don’t know why I just told you all of that…I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way about me……”
“Ellie stop talking.”
I instantly stopped talking. He looked up at me and had the most breathtaking smile on his face. I didn’t mean to but I smiled back at him.
“When you told me earlier that you loved me….I just can’t even begin to tell you happy you made me. For you tell me that in your future you saw marrying me, having kids with me and living out here with me…….I feel like I could just explode I’m so fucking happy right now. I know we are so raw right now….it’s way too soon to even be talking about this but goddamn it Ellie. I want nothing more than to do exactly what you just said and do it with only you baby.”
I was pretty sure I heard both of our hearts beating like crazy. I leaned down and grabbed his face and kissed him.
“I love you Ellie.”
“I love you too. And can I just say since we’re speaking out the truth here….It really turns me on when you call me baby.”
Gunner threw his head back and laughed! He stood up and pulled me up along with him.
“THAT I’m going to have to remember! Come on, I need to get up early to help out Drake.”
Gunner put his arm around my shoulder and led me into the house. When we walked in there was a small light on in the living room. Gunner and I walked in and Ari was sleeping in a chair with her book open. She looked so peaceful and so at home. If I had not known any better I would say she was meant to be a rancher’s wife! Not some country club ass holes eye candy on his arm.
“Should we wake her up or leave her?” Gunner asked. After the night I just had her ass was getting up so we could talk!
“I think we should wake her up. She would be comfortable in bed.” Just then Jefferson came downstairs.
“I thought I heard y’all. Did you have fun looking at the stars Ells?”
“YES! It was amazing. The whole night has been amazing.” I said with a little bit too much enthusiasm.
Jefferson just looked at me and then over at Gunner and raised his eyebrow. “Just how amaaaazing was it?”
I slapped him on the arm. “Jefferson Johnson! It was nothing like that and stop thinking that way! Gunner is too much of a gentleman to do anything like that!”
Gunner let out a laugh. “Jesus dude….give me a little bit more credit than that.”
Jefferson looked over at Ari sleeping on the chair. “Has she been there the whole time? Her neck is going to kill her in the morning and then I’m going to have to listen to her bitch about all day.”
“I was just going to wake her up but sometimes she is hard to wake up when she is in a deep sleep.”
We tried for ten minutes to wake her up. Finally Jefferson got tired of it.
“Fuck this; I’ll just carry her up to your room.” Jefferson bent down and scooped up Ari like she weighed nothing.
“Her bed is the one closet to the door.” I said as he walked by and headed up the stairs with Gunner and me following behind.
Once we got in our bedroom I pulled the covers back as Jefferson started to lay Ari down. She opened her eyes and looked at him and smiled. He instantly stopped moving and just looked at her. Ari mumbled something about this being the best fucking dream ever and Jefferson smiled back at her and set her on the bed. Then he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. Ari put her hand up to her cheek and smiled.
Then she let out a snore……I had to giggle.
“Figures” Jefferson said as he shook his head and turned to walk out.
“Night Ells….” Jefferson said as he leaned down to give me a kiss.