“Why did you say yes?”
“I had to, Kins.” My anger began to wane. “He’s my dad, and no matter what he did to mom, I gotta at least hear him out.”
“Was it weird meeting her?”
Blowing out a breath, I grabbed Kinsley’s arm and pulled her into the kitchen. I needed some space.
Climbing up on the bar stool, I patted the one next to me. “It was weird. She knows all about me, and I know nothing of her. I want to be mad at my dad for that … but I know that was entirely my mom’s doing.”
“Wow. How will it go with the wife? What’s her name again?”
“Julie. And I don’t know. When I first saw him I couldn’t move. I had it all planned out to yell and scream, but nothing. It will probably be the same with her.”
“You’ve had a busy day.”
“Yeah.” My body slumped.
“What was that with Deke?”
“He thinks he can just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Not. Gonna. Happen.” My spine stiffened at my words.
“You know I’m not a fan of his, by any means, but he might be right.”
I gaped my mouth at her. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No. I’m not. Vann, he obviously cares about you. He has a messed up way of showing it sometimes, but you have history. You’ve trusted him with Gabriella, and when he came here today, you obviously didn’t push him away.”
“I know,” I said, hanging my head as shame washed over me.
“Then whatever that was in there … you need to reel it in. We all know you’ve been through a lot, but a guy like Deke can’t be pushed too much.”
“What, so I’m just supposed to let him take care of me? Where was he when I needed him five years ago?”
“Where were you?”
“Shut up,” I said, burying my head in my hands.
“You see my point. You’ve got some seriously fucked up shit going on here, and you’ve gotta get it worked out. Look, I know you love him. Figure it out.” The silence after those words were spoken was deafening. I jumped out of my seat and rushed to Deke. He didn’t say a word as I walked to him, but I could feel the anger rolling off him in waves.
Instead of some big speech, I walked up to him and tightly wrapped my arms around him. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
When Deke didn’t reciprocate, I felt the tears begin to fall. Suddenly my bed sounded like a much better place to be. As I started to pull away from him, he wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me tight.
My legs gave out, forcing all my weight onto Deke, who scooped me up into his arms, weightlessly, kissing me on the forehead repeatedly. Burrowing my head in his neck, I could feel him walking, but at this point I just didn’t care where we were going … as long as I was with him. As he gripped my body tighter in his arms, I could feel my tension easing away.
“I’m gonna lay you down.”
The soft bed caressed my body, but the coldness swept through from the loss of Deke so close. Moments later, I felt the bed dip next to me. I didn’t ask, but just moved into his arms, resting my head on his now bare chest.
My vision was blurry from the tears, but I wanted so badly to explore him. It would sadly need to wait.
Time escaped me as I lay curled in his arms, but the tears finally dried up as my body molded against his, completely relaxed. Deke never said a word and continued to slowly stroke my shoulder. It was exactly what I needed, and damn if my heart didn’t swell in that moment.
Raising my head from his chest, my cheek stuck a bit. I quickly wiped it with my hands, trying not to let the embarrassment show.
“You okay?” he drawled smoothly.
Staring in his eyes, I knew I was lost … again. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”
“You’ve been through a lot.”
“I shouldn’t have said those things.”
“They were true … at least at the time.”
“Why didn’t you ever call me after I left?” I whispered, resting my hands on his chest with my chin on top, staring at him. My hand instantly found the key that was dangling from the rope on his neck.
“You wanna talk about this now?”
“Yes.”
Blowing out a deep breath, Deke looked up at the ceiling. “I was pissed. I couldn’t believe you left me.”
“I’m sorry.” My voice was so quiet, but I couldn’t speak louder.
“Why did you go? Why didn’t you stay with your grandma?” The pain in his eyes tore me up. I wanted to erase all those years of hurt for him.
“I couldn’t. Mom was flipping her lid, saying that I was just like my father leaving her. I had to go.” I tried hard to hold the tears back as they were lurking in the back of my eyes.
“That’s why I didn’t call. I was pissed at just about everything in life already, then when you left, it got worse.”
“I wanted to stay, ya know?”
“No, not really,” he grumbled. “How was California?”
His abruptness at the question caught me off guard. “Okay.” I turned my head; resting my check on his chest, I felt the steady rise and fall with each breath. “Mom and Aunt Tennie drank most of the time, so I pretty much had to fend for myself. School was horrible. My Southern accent didn’t fly well with the kids, so I continued to immerse myself in books.”
“Is that why you started writing?”
Looking at him I smiled. “I just started one day. It was kinda crazy actually.”
“Why’s that?” I couldn’t help but be touched that he wanted to learn more about my writing.
“I didn’t have normal stories running through my head. Mine were adventurous and sexy. Then they began to have a life of their own. I didn’t know what to do with them. I sat on them, tucking them away in my drawer. I didn’t start pulling them out until college. Then I showed them to a professor of mine who encouraged me to put them out there.”
“Where did you go to college?” Deke’s fingers pulled gently through my hair.
“USC. I got in on a lot of scholarships that my high school counselor helped me apply for. I took classes year round and graduated in four years.”
“Good for you.” His arm squeezed me tight, and I relished in his embrace.
“What about you? What did you do after high school?” I asked, knowing he didn’t go to college, at least from what the girls told me.
“I went to the academy. After my mom overdosed, I wanted to find the fucker who gave her the drugs. So I thought it would be the best way.” I turned my head so I could see him, but stared at the ceiling.
“You did it just for that?”
“Yep.” The void of emotion coming from him was almost scary.
“How’d that work?” I was quite surprised that a man would go through all that training just to hunt down one man.
“Found him, beat him up, almost killing him with my bare hands. My partner had to drag me off of him. He’s the reason I’m now undercover.” Deke said it so flippantly that it didn’t seem to bother him.
“Wow.” I couldn’t help but be a bit stunned. I’d never seen this side of him.
“I’ll take him out, but first I have to find the boss. Once I cut him off at the balls, then I’ll take the asshole out.” I lay there, still not knowing what to say. Fear ripped through me at what could happen to him. I’d never thought about the danger before this moment. “It’ll happen, hopefully sooner rather than later,” he continued.
“Then what will you do?” My curiosity peaked.
“Don’t know yet. I love my bar, so probably just that.”
“Why did you start Sully’s?” I happened to love the fact he named it after himself.
Deke turned to face me, the spark back into his eyes. It was a relief. I didn’t like that void. “Dad wanted me to come work for him and go to college after I lost my job, but there was no way I was gonna be cooped up with him any longer than absolutely necessary. I needed a cover, always wanted to have a bar, so I did it. It worked out well.”