I’d hated Julie for years, and now that I was in her home, I actually feared her. What did she have that my mom didn’t? What does she look like now? I’d only seen her a few times, but never really met her. I felt my anxiety grow, but kept focused on the little girl holding my hand.
She was too excited for me to let down, and I wouldn’t, no matter how uncomfortable.
Entering the front door, a huge sign that looked vaguely familiar hung on the wall. It read: ‘God Bless this Home.’
My heart broke a bit at the realization that this was their home no matter how much I wanted to hate being here; I needed to respect it.
“Savannah!” a very feminine, high-pitched voice called from down the hallway. As the petite, long blonde haired woman came down the hall rubbing her hands with a towel, I could instantly see how Dad could fall for her. She was beautiful. Her face lit up as she got closer to me.
Arms extended, she reached for me giving me a huge hug, and rather than be rude, I limply returned it. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Thank you for having me.”
“You are always welcome here.”
I pulled away and looked in her eyes. What I saw was someone who was very genuine in her words. There was no anger in them whatsoever. I thought there might be some considering I was his first wife’s kid. But nothing but happiness? “Thanks.”
“Come see my room!” Sydney grabbed my arm and began to pull me.
“Sydney. Give Savannah time to say hi.”
“But Daddy, I’ve waited a really, really, really, long time to show her my room. Please!”
Dad smiled down at Sydney. “Do you mind, Savannah?”
“Not at all.” Sydney squealed and began to pull me down to her room. I couldn’t help the huge smile that spread across my face. Grams was right. I needed to meet Sydney and actually try and build something with her. She was my sister. That was still difficult, but I was becoming more accepting of it.
“Look!” Sydney led me into a pink princess paradise. Everything except the carpet was pink—walls, bedding, furniture, curtains, and pillows—and all different shades of pink. It reminded me of bubble gum bubbles. “Come look at my Barbie house!”
She led me over to this monstrosity of a house that was taller than she was with three levels and furniture galore. A little girl’s dream. “Which is your favorite?”
“Barbie and the Pop Star, of course.” Her tone suggested that I should have known that tidbit of information already. Sydney flashed this Barbie at me that had pink and purple stripes in her hair along with a rocker dress and guitar. I didn’t remember Barbies like this when I was growing up.
“This is cool.” The Barbie station lasted all of about five minutes then we moved on to these things called LaLa Loopsies that looked like crazy dolls with buttons all over them. I didn’t get these. Then it was on to Polly Pockets, which had all these little bitty pieces. I vaguely remembered these, but mine looked nothing like this. Then on to the baby dolls.
“Look Savannah! This one I can feed, and it pees.” She handed me the peeing doll, and I couldn’t help but look at its crotch to see if I was gonna get wet. “And this one I can feed special food.” She handed me the food bandit. “And this one is a water baby Grover.”
“What does it do?” After asking, I rethought if I should have.
“Mommy puts warm water inside and then it’s all cuddly. And these are all my other babies. I have lots of names for them.”
Sydney began handing me all of her babies, naming them off so quickly I couldn’t keep up.
“You girls ready to come to dinner?” My Dad peeked his head inside of the door, smiling at me. I couldn’t help but return it as I sat there with a load of babies in my arms.
“No!” Sydney yelled.
“I know you’re excited to have Savannah here, but we need to feed her.”
“Can we come back?” Her excited little voice had me enthralled.
“Yeah. I’ll come back up here with you. Let’s see what your mommy made for dinner.”
Sydney reluctantly walked out of the room. “Come on,” Dad called. “Are you okay?”
“Yep. Why?”
“You are really quiet. I don’t remember you ever this quiet.”
I rolled my eyes. “Dad, I grew up.”
“I saw you roll your eyes, young lady.” He chuckled. “Some things never change.”
Heading to the table, Julie had it set with plates, silverware, and even a candle decoration with greens all around it in the middle. When she came in carrying a bowl, I immediately asked, “You need any help?”
“No, thank you. You are our guest. I want you to sit and relax.”
“Savannah, sit here!” Sydney called from across the room, patting the chair next to hers. As I glided into the chair, I couldn’t help the feeling of surrealness I got. A happy family dinner, which I couldn’t even remember the last time I had.
Even when dad was home, dinners never seemed to be like this, all sitting at the table together and actually smiling, but the awkwardness was still there.
“Savannah, how are you?”
“I’m good, Dad.” I began eating the meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and corn that were put on my plate, suddenly not feeling like eating, but rather, forcing myself to.
“What do you do?”
“Huh?”
“Your job, Savannah. What do you do?” Dad’s voice sounded loving just like he always was with me.
There was no way that I would be telling him about my chosen career, even though a small part of me actually wanted to, wanted to prove I made something of myself. But I kept mum. “I’m between jobs right now.”
“What did you study in college?” Dad played absently with his fork.
Surprised, I asked, “You knew I went to college?”
Dad turned and stared at me. “Of course I knew, but I don’t know what you studied.”
“Journalism.” I beamed, my pride escaping me.
“So you write?” Dad asked.
“Yes,” I said quietly, hoping for this line of questioning to be done.
Dad kept pushing, “What do you write?”
“Depends on the job. What about you, Dad? What have you been up to these days?” I needed to change the subject and get onto a topic Dad would want to talk about.
“Well, Julie and I bought some laundromats here in town and out. We manage them,” Dad mused.
“You like that?”
Dad continued twirling his fork almost nervously. “I like being my own boss.”
“Savannah. Will you play Barbies after dinner?” Sydney chimed in.
Smiling over to Sydney, I said, “I can for a little bit, but then I have to go.”
“Okay.” Sydney beamed the most beautiful smile at me, and my heart melted for her a bit more.
Dad lovingly said, “Sydney, could you run upstairs for a bit and put on a movie.”
“Daddy. I wanna stay with Savannah,” Sydney whined.
“I know, but we need to talk for a bit, but then I’ll send her right up to you.” Dad’s eyes gave the ‘father glare’ as I liked to call it. I remembered it well and always listened when he did it to me.
“Okay.” Sydney left the table, stomping her little feet. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I remembered I did the same thing as a kid every time my parents made me mad.
“Savannah, we heard what happened at Roni’s. Someone attacked you?” I should have known that in this small town everyone talked. I was utterly grateful at the moment for Z, though. He came up with a perfect story for me.
“Yeah. It was freaky. I was just shopping with Sawyer and some guy came up behind me. But I’m good.” Good. Really, was I good? Not so much.
“Cops know who it was?” Dad asked, pushing back his chair from the table and crossing his arms across his chest.
Whenever dad did that, I always felt intimidated. I knew my voice was soft. “Nope. No idea.”