“I’m sorry, Grams.” I knew it hurt that her only two daughters never contacted her, but that was what happened when you told one that she was a drunk and needed to lay off the booze and the other that she needed to stand up to her cheating ass husband. Even though what Grams said was true, they didn’t take to kindly to it.
“Don’t be sorry, you and Keith are the only normal ones in this family. I don’t know what I am going to do with those girls.” Grams shook her head in disgust.
“How’s Uncle Keith doing?”
A huge smile formed on Grams lips. “He’s great. The whole family is. You need to meet up with your cousins; they won’t even recognize you. I doubt Keith or Mary will either.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long, Grams. You know I didn’t want to go, but I’m glad I did. I needed to get away from the gossip in this town and just grow up.”
“I know, dear. It was just hard when your mother uprooted you like that. I wasn’t ready.”
I grabbed her hand and squeezed gently, trying to reassure her.
“I’m gonna set up a dinner. You’re coming, and I’ll invite all of Keith’s crew so you can get reacquainted with them.”
“Sounds great, Grams.”
“I can’t wait!” The excitement in her voice filled me with such happiness. I missed her so much.
“Let’s get these dishes done.” Even though I didn’t need the chair anymore, I thought about bringing it with me, but when Grams turned and smiled at me I knew she was thinking of the same memories. I loved this.
After finishing the last dish, I knew it was time to face another memory. “I’m gonna head out. The girls are taking me out tonight, so I need to get myself ready.”
“I wish I could be there to see all those faces when you walk in. You have grown into such a beautiful woman. You have fun, baby girl.”
“I will. I love you.” I wrapped my arms around her tiny body, crushing her to me without hurting her.
“I love you, too. I’ll call you about dinner.”
“Great. I’ll be here. I missed you, Grams.”
“Me, too.”
Driving back from Grams’s, I couldn’t help but avoid the direct route. It had been five long years. I still held a bit of anger toward my mom for making me leave the way she did all those years ago.
“Savannah Marie Kelly, get your shit together. Now.” My mom’s slur of words—no doubt having to do with the bottle of vodka she’d just drowned herself in—flowed ferociously out of her mouth. I knew she drank, but tonight had been exceptionally more than I’d seen in the past. I prayed this was one of her drunken stupors, and it would all be over in the morning.
“Mom, go lie down, turn on your shows, and I’ll bring you some coffee.”
“No. We are leaving this hellhole tonight. Whatever you don’t pack now, you will never have again, so I suggest you get your shit together.”
“I know you’re hurting. Let’s get one of the pills the doctor gave you and just take a rest. When you wake up, we’ll talk about this.” I was trying my damnedest to stay calm and not totally freak. I knew that would send her over the edge.
It wasn’t like I hadn’t been here numerous times. Ever since my dad took off with his whore, my mom had been a total mess. I finally talked her into seeing a doctor, but she preferred to cope with her alcohol more. She said the doctor didn’t do anything but sit and listen to her babble, but didn’t give her any advice or solutions on solving the gaping hole in her heart. The doc wanted her to figure it out.
I wanted to go in there and yell at the dumbass. If my mom could figure this shit out on her own, I wouldn’t have been pushing her to go and talk to the doc in the first place. So, I can’t really blame my mom for not wanting to keep going back, but thankfully, so far, she continued to go.
“I’m not going to bed or taking one of those damn pills. You just want to drug me and knock me out!” Mom’s screeching voice mixed with her slurring was giving me a headache.
“I just want you to calm down …” And stop destroying my entire life from your rampages.
Mom turned and marched into her bedroom. Between her yelling, I could hear things getting thrown around. This again was nothing new. Her temper was another one of those great things that happened after my dad left. Mom couldn’t seem to rein it in. She just exploded without thinking twice.
BAM … BAM …
Jumping off my bed, I flew to the door and opened it. “Mom, calm down.”
Mom peered into my room. “You’re not packing. Why aren’t you packing? Do you want to leave everything behind?”
“Mom, please. We can’t leave. It’s my senior year. I want to be with my friends, and I can’t leave Deke. I know what Dad did was horrible, but we can’t let him do this to us.”
Mom’s face grew furious. “You. You. You. It’s always about you. What about me? Huh? I have to live in this damn town with your dad parading his floozy on his arm. I have stay here listening to all the rumors about him getting remarried and the ‘poor Annabelle’ lines. Well, I’m sick of it, and I’m not doing it another day. We are getting the hell out of here first thing in the morning.”
Annabelle Kelly had never been one to be pushed around, even when Dad was here. She always had the upper hand in everything. That was just how it was. Now that Dad was gone, she did everything she could to keep that upper hand.
“Mom, I know this is hard. It’s hard for me to see them together, too. I hate it, but we can’t let him ruin our lives anymore.”
“That’s what we are doing, Savannah. We are getting the hell out of here and taking back our lives.” It doesn’t get past me that her voice is much clearer than it was a couple of hours ago. She must be burning off the alcohol in record speed.
“Mom, where are we going to go?”
“Aunt Tennie’s.” Ugh. I was afraid she was going to say that. Her sister, Tennie, had only met me twice in the seventeen years of my existence, as she was in California and we lived here in Alabama. I knew nothing about the woman except she had money. Like I gave a crap about her money.
“I don’t know her, and I don’t think we would fit in too well in California.” I knew I wouldn’t. My Southern twang would grab everyone’s attention.
“You’ll get to know her. I’m serious, Savannah. We’re leaving in the morning.” Without another word, she turned and left me in the middle of my room where I began pacing.
How in the hell was I going to leave everything here? My friends since kindergarten were here. I couldn’t leave Kinsley and Sawyer. They helped pick up the pieces when Dad left, and now I was just supposed to tell them bye.
Deke—how in the hell could I leave him when he needed me so much right now? I loved him too much.
A plan. I needed a plan. Thinking on my feet, I rushed to my mom’s bedroom door. “Mom?”
“What?” she snapped.
Taking a calming breath, I asked, “How about I stay with Grams, and you go out with Aunt Tennie for a while?”
I did not miss the shock and hurt that crossed her eyes. “Oh. So that’s it. You want to leave me, too. I should have known you were just like your father.”
A lonely tear fell from my eye. Her words hurt; no scratch that, they cut … deep. My father leaving us hurt more than words could ever say. It changed me. It changed my mom. I never wanted to be like my father … ever. The ache in my heart physically hurt. I wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear.