‘Didn’t we pave the way for your career?’
‘Your brawling with the police is less so,’ she said, ignoring my comment.
‘They deserved it.’
‘Maybe.’
‘There’s no fucking maybe about it.’
‘Did you vote?’ Her question took me by surprise.
‘What the fuck has that got to do with it?’
‘We all watched your broadcast. We all heard what was said — Mr Mudgie’s speech about democracy. If you truly do want to change things, then you have to take an interest. Otherwise Mr Cronin was right: you are purveyors of chaos just trying to tear things down.’
I looked at her for a long time. She was like the few good officers I’d met in my time. You trusted her. Admittedly you trusted her because you knew where you stood, not because you thought she had your best interests at heart.
‘You let them beat me, didn’t you?’ I asked, smiling.
‘Of course. You may not like the police but we will need them. Your beating was their price for you not being killed resisting arrest.’
‘Did you pull the MI5 team out of the warehouse?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘Because Vicar was more likely to talk to you.’
‘Going to torture me for information too?’
‘That was a decision made by the Cabal, not me.’
Which was fair. She hadn’t even been in office at that point.
‘So what do you want from me?’
‘I want you to go and help your friends. Cause problems for the Cabal again.’
‘Why me? Don’t you have a country’s armed forces under your command?’
‘Yes, and everyone will be doing what they can, but you’re rather good at annoying the Cabal.’
I smiled at this. It hurt.
‘You speaking to all of us?’
‘As many as I can.’
‘One-on-one briefings?’
‘You and your friends have been the most effective thorn in the side of the Cabal.’
This wasn’t making sense. My career as a so-called terrorist celebrity aside, she was too high up and I was too low down.
‘You have other people with our skill sets. You’re not telling me something, and unless you level with me you can go and tell the police that we’re not finished and I think they’re a bunch of pussies.’
I noticed Mike smile. Akhtar gave this some thought. The silence seemed to stretch out. This gave me time to consider just how much pain I was in. It was a lot, and this was despite the near-constant drain on my internal drug reservoirs.
‘We’re desperate,’ she finally said. This I believed. ‘What I tell you now cannot be repeated.’
‘If I go back to work with Pagan, Morag and the others, it will be discussed with the team.’
She gave this some more thought. I think she was warring with years of experience and training that emphasised the importance of secrecy. At the same time I was warring with years of being sent out on jobs with not nearly enough information.
‘You understand how this battle will be fought, don’t you?’ she finally said.
‘Fleet and net,’ I said. ‘They have the fleet, but if I understand the God versus Demiurge equation properly then we have the processing power to make God more powerful than Demiurge, which will have to rely on the processing power in the four colonial fleets.’
‘Yes and no,’ She said. This was new. ‘In theory we have the processing power but since God was released most governments have been isolating their systems and taking their resources off the net.’
Then it hit me.
‘And they won’t want to share because it means that they have to let God in again.’ I groaned.
‘Which means that Demiurge may well have the processing power to win the conflict. Basic divide and conquer.’
The short-sightedness of it beggared belief.
‘What do they think is going to happen?!’ I demanded angrily.
‘You have to remember it’s still an unseen threat.’
‘They’ve lost contact with all four fucking colonies!’
‘Obviously you are preaching to the converted here. There’s more,’ she said. I waited. I had the feeling I was going to be told more stuff which would make me feel angry and powerless at other people’s stupidity. ‘Earth’s defences are not as impregnable as people have been led to believe.’
I felt my heart sink. I had known that the Earth’s home system fleet was made up of earlier-generation ships that had survived service in the colonies. I knew the ships were neither as sophisticated nor as many as the ships of the colonial fleets. We had, however, been brought up to believe in an impregnable fortress Earth with its surrounding cordon of orbital weapons platforms.
‘You mean it’s a lie?’ I demanded.
‘Not exactly. It’s the same problem. It’s hard enough to get everyone to co-operate out in the colonies fighting Them, but when it’s on our doorstep, when the stakes are so much higher…’
‘Because people think they’ve got more to lose, never mind the squaddie in the fucking colonies!’
‘They want to look out for themselves, and understandably so.’
‘So the problem is there will be no cohesive defence?’
Akhtar nodded. ‘And some may wish to come to terms with the Cabal.’
‘That means total control!’ I couldn’t believe this.
‘They may prefer that to what they see as total destruction.’
‘Brilliant. So what do you want me to do? Go and die under an alien sun for governments too stupid to work together?’
‘Yes.’ And again she seemed deadly serious.
‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Not a lot in it for me.’
‘True,’ she agreed. This was weird.
‘You should work on your motivational speaking.’
‘Do you want me to lie to you?’ She had a point.
‘Maybe soften the blow a bit.’
‘You’re fucked.’
‘Yeah, now you’re getting it.’
‘I want you to sell your lives dearly. I want you to cause them as much trouble as you can. If you think you can provide us with intelligence safely then do so because we need any we can get, but most importantly I want you to raid, sabotage, assassinate and do anything you can to damage their resources and delay them. And when they catch you, and they will, I want you to make sure you kill yourself and destroy your internal memory before you fall into their hands.’
‘You realise that the people we’re talking about are just like you and me but have been misled by Rolleston and Cronin?’
She looked me straight in the eyes when she answered. ‘Yes. It’s something I have given a great deal of thought to. If you can think of another way…’
I was wondering how much I still owed this world.
‘I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else. I don’t want to die.’
‘Tough shit.’
‘Why am I being singled out for this?’
‘I can’t make up my mind whether that’s solipsistic or just plain arrogance.’
‘I only know what one of those words means.’
‘You’re not. We’re keeping half of our special forces, including reserves, back here for stay-at-home parties, if it goes badly.’ Stay-at-home parties was the preferred euphemism for suicide missions. ‘The rest we’re putting on the ground in the colonies in conjunction with the special forces of other countries who are co-operating with us.’
‘Such as Sharcroft in America?’
The look of distaste that she struggled to control endeared her to me further.
‘Yes. I know you don’t like him, but I am forced to admit that he is the best man for the job. For your information, I am speaking to every man and woman I am sending to die.’
‘Why are they going?’
‘Because each of them thinks that they will live. Somehow. I am sorry to be the one to break this to you, Sergeant, but you are nothing special. Though I have to admit that you do have a few things working in your favour.’