There wasn’t much more I could do. I nodded to Arneath, as the gates began to open and turned to the group of men.
Joden squeezed my shoulder and moved to take the burden off Kier. Kier stepped back, never letting his eyes leave my face. I avoided his gaze, stepped up to the litter and put my hand on Simus’s shoulder. He covered it with his own. “My thanks. Be well, little healer.” I nodded, and stepped back.
The gates swung open. Arneath stepped forward to lead the way.
Only to be blocked by a large group of townspeople.
Remn, the bookseller, stepped forward, along with the Head Priest from the Temple of the Goddess. “ We have come to offer our help to these men. As we would hope that their people help our men at this time.”
I smiled and watched as the two groups merged into one and headed down the street. Anna and Othur had gotten the word out. Arneath looked like he had swallowed something bitter. He would be hard pressed to carry out his orders now.
I stood as the gates swung silently closed. In the few moments before they came together, I thought I saw a flash of blue eyes as Kier looked back at me.
It was wishful thinking. Nothing more.
I spent the rest of the day in the still room with Anna. We reviewed the supplies, and I went over the various recipes, updating the records and recording my notes. Eln would send apprentices, and eventually a master would take my place. It felt as if I was in a dream, with a kind of blanket around my head, muffling my thoughts. I concentrated on the work at hand and thought of nothing else. At some point, Anna placed food before me, but I couldn’t eat it. My thoughts were muddled, but my stomach was perfectly aware and it rolled at the suggestion of food. At the last, I gathered up my precious books and journals, and tied them together with twine. Eln would see that they went to the right people and that the knowledge was not lost. I looked at the little bundle sitting in the center of the cleaned and cleared table. It looked somehow forlorn and lost. Of all my things, these were the hardest to let go.
Anna’s hand grasped my shoulders and moved me to the kitchen, pressing me down onto the bench. A large mug of tea was placed before me, and I watched as she added honey to it. She placed the mug in front of me carefully. “Drink. I will get some bread and cold meat.”
“No, Anna. I’m not hungry.” My stomach was barely willing to take the tea.
The kitchen was quiet and there were only the two of us seated there. Anna sipped her tea. I stared at mine. We sat in uncomfortable silence. In another few hours.
“Lara. Child.” I lifted my head to see Anna staring deep into her cup and turning the brightest shade of red I had ever seen. Her rough voice dropped to a whisper. “If your blessed mother were here, she would want you to know what to expect.”
“Anna.” I reached for her reddened hand on the dry boards of the table, trying not to laugh. “Anna, I may not know the specifics, but I know the general way that things go. It will be all right.”
Anna looked up, tears streaming down her face. “As you say, child.”
Neither of us believed it.
I looked away, then rose. “I best go and get ready.”
Anna wiped her face with her apron. “I’ll have hot water sent up to your room. I’ll be up shortly to help you.”
“Anna, you don’t have to—”
A fierce look from her cut off my words. “I’ll be up. Go on.” She looked away as fresh tears welled up in her eyes.
I made my way to my room, and stood at its center looking around at my personal items. I sorted out my clothing for the maids, Anna would see to it that they were given to the right people. I had little jewelry, but a few rings and a necklace that had been my mother’s. No fine jewels here, just a simple gold locket on a chain. That was for Anna. The few remaining coins, I’d donate to the Goddess. I had some perfumes and soaps that I’d made for myself; I set those aside for Kalisa the cheesemaker. She’d cackle, and use them lavishly. The ones I liked the best were scented with vanilla oil. They were very expensive and I’d used them sparingly, saving them for a special occasion or an indulgence. As I looked at them, I wished I’d used them every day.
There were sounds outside, and I quickly dried my eyes as the servants started to haul in the tub and water, along with towels. Ordinarily, bathing in my room by the fire was a treat, one not to be indulged in too often, what with the servants having to haul hot water up the stairs. I bit my lip and got myself under control as they sloshed bucket after bucket of hot water into the tub. Once they were gone, I stripped, throwing my clothes in the corner. I sank into the tub and started washing, using my vanilla soap unsparingly.
Anna showed up in time to help me rinse my hair. Wrapped in towels, I sat by the fire, and rubbed the water from my hair. Anna sat on a stool next to me, looking through the small chest that had been brought to the castle by the Warlord’s men. There was a small vial in the box, along with a garment of some kind. Anna uncorked it and we both jerked our heads back in dismay as the overwhelming scent of flowers filled the air. We could not get the cork back in fast enough. We looked at each other and burst out laughing like sick fools.
Next, Anna held up the garment and we both just looked at each other.
“Isn’t there anything else in there?” I asked as I looked in the chest.
“No.” Anna frowned. “You are going to catch your death.”
Anna picked up the combs and gestured for me to sit with my back to her. She started to work the tangles out of my hair. I reached for one of my bottles and handed it to her. She looked at me. “The instructions said…”
“I’d rather smell of vanilla.”
She sighed, but opened the bottle and began to rub the expensive oil into my hair. I started with the scented creams on my body. The vanilla’s gentle scent surrounded us, but wasn’t overpowering. Once I was done, I sat quietly, staring at the fire as Anna brushed my hair dry.
When she was done, as a further small act of defiance, I wound my hair up on top of my head as I was wont to wear it and placed more of the scented oil on my neck. Anna clucked like a hen, but I felt better for it.
Until I put on the garment. It was little more than a sleeveless shift of fine, shiny white cloth. It fell to below my knees, and clung in ways that brought a blush to my cheeks. Thankfully, the neckline was high, showing only my collarbone, since it was cut straight across. Anna stepped back, and we both looked at each other. It was fairly clear that the Warlord wanted to be able to inspect the merchandise before claiming it.
With a deep breath, I moved closer to the fire, and looked around the room. Anna picked up my slippers, but I shook my head. “I am to wear only what was in the chest.”
Anna looked at me, and let the slippers fall back to the floor. I moved about, telling her what I wanted done with my possessions. I pressed my mother’s necklace into her hand, and hugged her hard as her silent sobs racked her body. “You’ll see to this?”
She managed to nod, unable to speak.
The horns announced the arrival of the Warlord’s party. Our heads jerked up together and we both stared out the window. Sunset had arrived. I looked over at Anna. She stood there, frozen, her misery reflected in her face.
I took one last look around my room, at my notes, my books. Xymund had said that I was forbidden to take anything with me. Slaves do not own property. They are themselves owned.
I stood in the center, closed my eyes, and took another deep breath. It did no good. My heart started racing, pounding out of my chest. I could not do this. I could not submit to this. I opened my eyes, and saw the vial where it sat on the mantel. One quick swallow…
Anna had already moved to the door. After she opened it, she knelt down slowly, wincing as her knees pressed against the stone. Gathering my wits, I walked to the door and paused to gently place my hand on her head. She reached up, took my hand and pressed it to her lips. She looked up, eyes brimming. “ Thank you, Daughter of Xy.”