My voice sounded whiny, even to me, but I didn’t let that stop me. I poured out all of my unhappiness into Jo-den’s ear, as the privacy bells chimed.
Finally, the worst of all, was that I was afraid that Keir had lost interest in me. Thankfully, I couldn’t see Joden’s face as I confessed my doubts. Keir wasn’t around, constantly moving here and there, and he didn’t always re-turn to our tent for the night. The Firelanders had very different ideas about things, and the women warriors were all tall, strong, confident, and… ample.
I lay my head down against his back. “I’m sorry, Joden. I’ve no right to talk like this. I sound like a fretful child. I mean, I did follow Keir, and I asked for this. It’s just that…”
“It’s not what you expected.” I felt his voice rumble through his chest.
“My father used to tell me about his campaigning, and his travels. How hard it was. I just didn’t realize that it was so hard and uncomfortable every single day!”
Joden laughed. I was offended at first, but couldn’t help but laugh with him.
“So, you thought to become one of the Plains within the space of a few days? You, that have never ventured far from your home of stone.” Joden chuckled.
“I guess I did expect that it would be easy.”
“And it is not.” Joden shifted a bit in the saddle and the leather creaked in response. “If Marcus has a flaw, it’s that he believes that Keir can do no wrong. Have you talked to Keir, Lara?”
“No. I’m too embarrassed.”
Joden fell silent at that, a silence that was all too much like Eln when he was trying to get me to think about what I had said. And when I did think about it, I flushed in shame. It was the truth, I didn’t feel that I could talk to Keir about these things. He was so proud, so confident, so… perfect. How could I let him know that his Warprize wasn’t? I heaved another sigh.
Joden turned his head slightly, as if to look at me. “This land of yours, this Xy, it is strange to us. Many have confided their unease to me.”
“Really?” I looked around the valley, with its hills and trees. The sky above was a bright blue, and the air sweet with the scent of crushed grasses. “Why would they be uneasy?”
“On the Plains, one can see for miles and miles. A storm builds as one watches, and sweeps over the grasses with its rains.” Joden looked up to where the mountains blocked our view. “Here, one can see nothing, and the trees block the stars from sight. It is uncomfortable.”
“The Plains sound so big, Joden.”
“As wide as the skies themselves, Lara.” Joden spoke with a smile I could hear. “They hold their own special beauty.” His voice was filled with a quiet pride. “But life there is hard, make no mistake about that. We are of the Plains and we accept the harshness, for it is also a life of freedom, and its taste is sweet.”
His tone changed. “Keir seeks to change our ways, to ease the harshness, to improve the lives of all. But change is also hard.”
I absorbed his words as he took a deep breath to continue.
“We are returning to the Plains, Lara, and normally our hands would be filled with the spoils from raiding. But this time, this army, although victorious, returns with but a Warprize. In your own way, you have more value to us than any goods or foodstuffs. But warriors sometimes only see the prey in hand, or the lack thereof.”
Joden took a breath and continued. “Keir is making his way up and down the line, seeing to the needs of his warriors. But he is also reminding them that the bounty from this raid will come in the future, once the snows have cleared. Others work against Keir, pointing to empty hands and sagging saddlebags.”
“Iften?” The large, blond man with a scraggy beard who had challenged Keir and threatened me was not one of my favorites. He looked at me like I was some sort of vermin.
“Iften.” Joden confirmed. “There are those that heed him, not enough to break their oaths to the Warlord, but enough that they will have second thoughts to his new ways.” Joden shook his head. “There will be trouble when we reach the Heart of the Plains.”
“Trouble?”
Joden nodded. “But know this, Warprize. Keir has claimed you, and he honors the claim.”
“Joden, I don’t know what that means.”
“We have bonded couples, Lara. Isdra and Epor are an example.”
“What does ‘bonded’ mean?” I craned my neck, looking to see if I could find either of them in the crowd.
“They are sworn to one another, and have been so for many years.”
“I didn’t know.”
“Yes,” Joden’s voice sounded like Eln’s when I had missed something important. “Talk to Isdra, Lara. You must ask questions when you don’t understand.” He turned toward me again, and I leaned forward to hear him. “Keir has his reasons for the speed at which we travel. He is hoping to avoid some of the opposition if we can arrive quickly.”
“Opposition? To me?”
“Yes. Messages were sent but the Plains are wide. He might be able to get you to the Heart of the Plains and confirmed before the major opposition can arrive. Talk to him, Lara. About your fears. This is something Keir must address. My reassurances will mean nothing to you.”
I sighed, laid my head on his back and nodded. “As to the rest, you are doing very well, Lara. For a woman of the city. Have no fear. All will be well.”
“Why such a long face, Warprize?” Isdra took over for Jo-den, and had me on her saddle in a moment.
“Isdra, if one more person pats me on the head like a child and tells me not to worry, I am going to scream.”
Isdra laughed. “You can’t blame them. For us, one who bears no weapons is as a babe, to be protected and coddled.”
I paused, uncertain. Isdra seemed so confident, so sure of herself. I wasn’t sure that my confidences would be welcome or tolerated. “Isdra, Marcus said that you and Epor are bonded.”
“Marcus told you that?” Isdra’s voice rose in surprise. Next thing I knew, Isdra had bells in her horse’s mane, and we were being avoided by those around us. “Warprize, I must ask for your token.”
I blinked, taken aback, but I fumbled in my pocket for a stone I had learned to carry. “Have I offended?”
“No.” Isdra took the token over her shoulder and held it in her hand. “At least, you have not offended me. Lara, I would tell you something that is known, but not discussed. Do you understand?”
“Yes. I think so. Something that everyone knows, but it’s not talked about.” I groped for words. “Like the people in Xy avoid talking about my brother’s death. For fear of my grief. Or anger.”
“Aye. You have it.” Isdra nodded, then took a deep breath. “Lara, Marcus was bonded.”
“Really?” I jerked my head around, to spot Marcus be-hind us. His chin was on his chest, and he appeared to be sleeping in the saddle as his horse walked along. “But his ear—” I stopped myself. His left ear had been burned away in the accident that left him scarred.
Isdra nodded again. “Aye, his ear spiral melted away with his flesh. I do not know the details, Lara. Don’t ask him, even with token in hand, bells all around, and the Warlord at your side. Marcus is known to lash out when the topic is raised. Epor and I try to be considerate, but we know we cause him pain. I was surprised when the Warlord named us your guards, to be open to the skies.”
“Oh, Goddess. Was she killed, Isdra?”
Isdra shook her head. “I will say no more, Lara. For lack of knowledge, and for courtesy. But if you wish to speak of bonding. I will chatter like the magpie I am.” I could almost feel her grin as she handed back my token.
“Tell me about bonding.”
“I’ll say to you as I would teach a young one. Not to offend, but to inform.” I could hear a rhythm in her voice, as if she were reciting it as she had been taught. She took my silence for assent, and continued. “Here is the way of the Plains. Once the required babes are birthed, and honor won through battle, one has the freedom to choose to enter a bond. Bonding binds two souls, and as with all bindings it can cause pain as well as pleasure. Where once one mind and body worked together, now so must two mesh. This is more of a challenge than the fiercest battle, for a battle lasts but hours, but the work of a bond is constant and never-ending. Adjusting to each other, the bond grows or withers with every breath. Rare is a bonding, but when it is found, it is priceless in the joy it bestows.”