Raven acknowledged the quiet, steady voice of wisdom and experience within her.
Perhaps I am, Raven conceded:
It's all a part of growing up, Vadya added.
Raven considered that a moment. She was nearly two tenwinters old. She had thought of herself as an adult for some while now. It was possible she had been mistaken.
It's... difficult.
Growing up always is, Vadya said.
Though Vadya had willingly ceded physical control of her body to Raven, that body still had its physical memories intact. It moved with a natural grace that Raven didn't need to consciously exert.
Even so, she had learned more than a thing or two about gait, deportment, and general appearance. Despite the relative hardships of being out here in the field, Raven was managing to maintain her appearance. She already had this borrowed beauty, to be sure, but with the application of a little consistent hygiene she could make herself look truly stunning.
Cleanliness had never meant much to her before. Her mother had once hoped she would flower into a beauty. But it hadn't happened. The body she had been born into simply wasn't made that way. Now, however, she had surpassed any expectations of loveliness her mother could have ever entertained about her daughter.
Perhaps someday she would return to the village of her birth, to show her mother what she had become, to show all those horrid people there who had been so cruel to her...
No. There was no going back. No one would recognize her. No one would believe that she was the same Raven, not even her mother.
In point of fact, she wasn't the same Raven. Not at all. She was a blond beauty who held a key position of power in the new Felk Empire. She was caught in an intrigue between the two most powerful players in that empire, Matokin and Weisel.
One man was her father. The other was her lover. Could things get more interesting than that?
She felt an odd pang of guilt and realized that it was over her reporting to Matokin about Weisel's activities. But that was what she was supposed to do. Matokin had assigned her the task, and she was compelled, because of her loyalty, to obey.
But what of her loyalty to Weisel? Surely the general would not be pleased if he discovered that she was spying for Matokin. Then again, maybe he already knew. Both those men were very complex, very shrewd. It might be that Raven was merely a piece in a game being played between them.
She shook her head. Even if that were true, she had sufficient will and determination to make her own destiny.
Raven returned to her tent. She had a private one now, as an officer. She received a few more visits from various company commanders and explained to them how the informant system would work. All the officers were at least willing to go along with it. Some were enthusiastic about it.
She did the same thing with commanding mages from the magic-using units. She noticed that these wizards, though still reflexively wary, were more relaxed than they were when she had first joined this army. That had to be due to Weisel's ecumenical policies that didn't exclude these magicians from any of the benefits enjoyed by the regular troops.
Night was falling. Raven had been prepared to report to General Weisel all day regarding the headway she was making in getting Military Security set up and operating. But she had received no summons.
Instead, she settled down to write up a report. The general could look it over at his leisure.
You're disappointed that you haven't heard from him? Vadya asked.
Raven frowned. What makes you ask that?
Just a feeling...
I thought we weren't supposed to be able to feel each other's feelings, not unless they're very strong. That gave Raven sudden pause. Was she actually so concerned that General Weisel hadn't summoned her? Was it because she had developed passionate feelings for him after that one unexpected night?
That was childish. She shook her head sharply.
Vadya, I have a great respect for you, but kindly do not fill my head with such nonsense.
As you wish.
Raven finished writing her report, then summoned a messenger to take it to General Weisel. The messenger was a young man, nearly still a boy, with soft eyes and hair the same color as hers. Raven noticed his eyes lingering on her.
Her lips twisted slightly. "Do you find me attractive, soldier?"
He gaped, not knowing quite what to do. In the end, it was probably his youthful urges that decided for him. "Y-yes. You're very beautiful." He gulped, uncertain if he'd gone too far.
"I suppose you'd like to feel this body, to taste these lips, wouldn't you?" She hovered a step closer to him, watching his face flush.
He was very uncomfortable, but also very obviously aroused. "Oh y-yes. I would..."
Raven's features suddenly hardened, and she spat, "Well, fraternization between officers and enlisted personnel is forbidden. After you deliver that to the general, go put yourself on report." She spun away, hearing the befuddled messenger exit the tent.
She smiled to herself.
Did you enjoy that? asked Vadya.
I did. What of it?
Now, don't be terse. There's no reason you shouldn't enjoy the power that comes with this body. Believe me, I know what it can do.
Raven sat down in her chair, suddenly tired. Today had been a long and active day.
Tell me something, Vadya, Raven said.
Do you want to know about the many men I've slept with? Vadya asked.
No, Raven said firmly. I would very much like to know why you agreed to be my host. She waited. Vadya had avoided this question once already.
I think you're ready to hear it now, she finally said.
Raven listened eagerly.
Vadya said, I recognized that you were in a position of significant power. You are balanced between the emperor and the general. You can affect both men, without exposing yourself to the direct rigors of visible power. There is truly nothing worse than being the one in command, Raven. You have to answer for your mistakes, and the more power you have, the bigger those mistakes will be. But, if you're only the whispering advisor, the unofficial consultant...
Raven blinked. "Then you can make your moves without anyone being aware you are the source," she said aloud, in wonder.
Not even the person you are manipulating, Vadya added with some satisfaction.
It was a shocking revelation. Then your loyalty to Matokin is—Raven started.
Is very real, Vadya finished, firmly. I believe in Matokin's aim to unite the Isthmus. But he will make mistakes. All men do. I've seen it happen, over and over. They bumble and fumble.
But you know better? Raven asked, dubiously.
I know differently. I am a special sort of woman, Raven, and therefore you are as well. I know the carnal secrets of many men. I know how they think. I know how they compete with each other, even when cooperation would serve everyone better. I know their jealousies, their stupidities. I know that Matokin distrusts Weisel and that Weisel has misgivings about Matokin. I know this because it must be. They are both men.
Raven felt dazed. What Vadya said was of course true. Raven knew firsthand. Raven was spying on Weisel for Lord Matokin, after all; and General Weisel had spoken what amounted to outright treason against the emperor.