"Yes." The old man shifted slightly. "I would like you to come with me. Though there is no precedent for a nauallis to take a female student, the situation -"
"No." Gretchen crossed her arms. "I have already thought about this. I have no desire to become a judge or nauallis or brujo or whatever you are. You showed me a glimpse of your world – and I'll admit the thought is seductive – but I don't want to spend even more time away from my family, from my children. So thank you for the thought, but I will not go with you."
Hummingbird became entirely still. He did not blink or otherwise show surprise, but the strength of his astonishment gave the air in the room an almost electric charge. Hadeishi had given up being polite and turned away from his careful examination of the Assyrian panel, watching both of them with open interest.
The old man's teeth clicked softly. "It is very dangerous for you to go on without training."
"I guessed." Gretchen reached for her shoes. "So I'm not going to go on. If I understand all of this properly, if I do not exercise the sight then my mind will forget what to do. Long-accustomed patterns will reassert themselves."
"You'd knowingly blind yourself?" Hummingbird's bronzed skin was turning a queer pale color.
"I choose to go down a different path, Crow." Gretchen's eyes narrowed in a glare. "Your way is fraught with danger and sacrifice. I have given up enough already. I'm not going to abandon my children or the profession I love." She pointed away from him with one hand. "Seeing past a shadow on a wall for an instant does not require me to step around the screen. You shouldn't presume others will follow your path simply because it is secret."
Hummingbird was frankly speechless. Clearing his throat softly to draw their attention, Hadeishi bowed to Gretchen. His expression was very composed, but Anderssen suspected he was fairly agog himself and wondered how quickly this story would circulate through the Fleet. Perhaps never; the captain seems to be a very circumspect man.
"Thank you for your time, Doctor Anderssen. Have a safe journey."
"Thank you, Chu-sa Hadeishi."
Gretchen turned to the old Mexica, who was staring at her with growing fury radiating from his weathered old face. "Don't worry," she said, bowing to him. "Though I nearly lost my life, I regret nothing that happened there." A grin flashed. "I certainly won't forget. Good day, gentlemen. Safe journey."
"You," Hummingbird bit out, "must not leave."
Gretchen paused, one shoe on. "I am leaving. And I really don't think you can force me to be your student."
"You could…" Hummingbird's expression became particularly sour "…be placed in protective custody."
"To protect me from myself? To assuage your conscience?"
"To learn control!" Hummingbird snapped. "To be properly trained."
Gretchen shook her head, feeling a thread of anger stir in response to his pigheadedness. "As I said, I do not wish to be trained. Now, I'd guess you're worried, but not about my health. No – you're worried about my pitiful salary, aren't you?"
The nauallis's nose twitched as if a foul smell wafted on the room air.
"You think I will sell my little tale to a 3v for rude, raw gold, don't you?" Gretchen shook her head slightly in disbelief. "I told you I wouldn't. You doubt my word?"
"What about young Duncan's tutoring?" Hummingbird made a jerky motion with his hand. "I know what he means to you. Your resolve may be strong today, but in a year? What about when the girls are old enough to apply to the calmecac schools?"
There is that. Gretchen hid a sigh, thinking of her bank account. Nobility does not pay so well, but I will manage to make do. Somehow.
"Fine," she said, forcing herself to let go of that particular worry. Her chin came up and her blue eyes snapped with irritation. "Then if you're so Sister-bless concerned, the Imperial government can make good the bonus I won't get from the Company. You stole my data, you can bloody well pay for it!"
Hummingbird drew back a fraction, as if she'd slapped him in the face. "Extorting the Mirror will not…" he began in a hot tone. Hadeishi, still sitting quietly and watching them both with a quizzical expression on his face, raised both hands slowly.
"If I may offer a suggestion," the chu-sa said in a calm, collected voice, "there is a middle way."
The hatchway hissed closed behind Doctor Anderssen. Hadeishi looked sideways at the Mйxica. Hummingbird seemed stunned and disgusted at the same time.
"This matter will have to be hidden," the nauallis said, the timbre of his voice indicating what the Nisei might call fumeiyo – disgraceful shame. "No one must know."
"I understand," Hadeishi said, thanking generations of stoic tradition for the ability to keep his face from breaking into a broad grin. "The blatant misuse of your station – of your honorable position – would cause disquiet among your peers."
Hummingbird turned slightly, favoring the slim chu-sa with a withering, furious glare.
Unabashed, Hadeishi continued: "Surely no other nauallis – or any member of the Mirror, for that matter – would ever use his familial connections to influence calmecac selection, or to sponsor likely candidates for entry into university."
"You," the old Mйxica growled, "are presuming upon our acquaintance, Nisei."
Hadeishi shook his head, lips pursed. "You have rewarded her honorably. She has rendered good service – no goshi ever did better, placing her life in the way of danger to her lord -"
"Enough!" Hummingbird turned away. "She is not my tenant. She is not of my clan, nor are her children! Once I will extend the advantage of my house to aid her. Once! And no one will know."
"I understand." Hadeishi clasped both hands behind his back. "Service for service." But silently, he added So do all lords and vassals arrange their fates.
After a moment of silence, Mitsu said: "You cannot make her accompany you."
Hummingbird seemed to wake, life returning to his sharp green eyes. He glowered at the Fleet officer, hands clasped stiffly behind his back.
"This is easy for you to say, Nisei. Your traditions hold that letting go of the world is the path to enlightenment. Mine are different. I have a responsibility to my student." His head tilted toward the hatch. "She has only passed through the first door. Her will, her intent, are weak and unfocused – at any moment she could be trapped by this new clarity, she will be lost, blinded by the simple ability to see. Even if she tries to forget what happened! What will happen to her then?"
Hadeishi nodded slightly, his elfin face serious. "Anything might happen to her. She might be killed or driven insane or turn away from her path. Hummingbird, you cannot save, or protect, every single human being. That is impossible. Men die."
"Yes, that is so." Hummingbird looked away, anger fading into bitterness, his weathered old face settling into its long-accustomed mask. "Men die."
Hadeishi pointed with his head, indicating the door. "Even your student will die."
"I know this!" Hummingbird's nostrils flared.
"Do you?" Hadeishi met his eyes with an unflinching stare. "I do not think so. Not yet."