HUMOUR RULES
The coded language of sub-cultural sartorial statements is, like all English communication, infused with humour. I have already mentioned the role of the Importance of Not Being Earnest rule (the First Commandment of English humour) in mainstream English attitudes to dress, but I was surprised to find that this rule was equally powerful and as strictly observed among youth sub-cultures.
It is well known, after all, that young people, especially self-obsessed teenagers, are inclined to take themselves a bit too seriously. And given the immense social importance of dress in these youth tribes - clothing style being the primary means by which they distinguish themselves from the dreaded mainstream and from each other; the principal way in which they express their tribal affiliation and identity - they could be forgiven for taking their clothes and appearance very seriously indeed. I had fully expected these sub-cultures to be an exception to the Importance of Not Being Earnest rule and the irony rules. I assumed that members of youth tribes would be, understandably, unable or at least very reluctant to stand back and laugh at their cherished sartorial affiliation signals.
But I was wrong. I had underestimated the sheer strength and pervasiveness of the English humour rules. Even among those whose sub-cultural identity is most closely bound up with their tribal uniform, such as Goths, I found an astonishing degree of ironic detachment. Goths, in their macabre black costumes, might look as though they are taking themselves very seriously, but when you get into conversation with them, they are full of typically English self-mockery. In many cases, even their clothes are deliberately ironic. I was chatting at a bus stop to a Goth in full vampire regalia - with chalk-white face, deep-purple lipstick, long black hair and all - when I noticed that he was also wearing a t-shirt with the legend GOTH printed in large letters on the front. 'So, what's that about?' I asked, indicating the t-shirt. 'It's just in case you missed the point,' he replied, mock-seriously. 'I mean, I couldn't have people thinking I was just a boring, mainstream, normal person, right?' We both looked at his highly conspicuous, unmistakeable, fancy-dress costume and burst out laughing. He then confided that he had another t-shirt with SAD OLD GOTH on it, and that these were very popular among his Goth friends, who wore them 'to stop people taking it all too seriously - well, to stop us from taking ourselves too seriously as well, which to be honest we're a little bit inclined to do if we're not careful. You've got to be able to take the piss out of yourself.'
Once you learn to de-code a sub-culture's sartorial dialect, you find that many of the dress-statements are self-mocking in-jokes, often ridiculing the tribe's own rigid dress codes. Some Goths, for example, poke fun at the whole sombre, morbid, black-only colour rule by wearing bright, girly pink - a colour that is traditionally despised by this sub-culture. 'The pink thing is a joke,' explained a young female Goth with pink hair and pink gloves, 'because pink is like totally against the whole Goth ideology.' So, Goths with pink hair or sporting items of pink clothing are laughing at themselves, deliberately mocking not just their dress codes but all the tastes and values that define their tribal identity. That seems to me about as ironically detached as you can get. Humour rules, OK!
I've been rather critical of the English so far in this discussion of dress, but this ability to laugh at ourselves is surely a redeeming quality. Where else would you find dedicated members of dress-obsessed youth tribes who can look at themselves in the mirror and say 'Oh, come off it!'? I have certainly never come across this degree of self-mockery among comparable groups in any other culture.
So. Vampires in ironic pink. Another thing to be proud of. I think my last little burst of patriotic pride was over bad puns in tabloid headlines. Hmm. You may be starting to worry about my taste and judgement, but at least there's a consistent pattern: my rare moments of unqualified admiration for the English all seem to relate to our sense of humour, clearly something I prize above many other perhaps more worthy qualities. How very English of me.
This sense of humour might perhaps help to explain the otherwise puzzling English mania for fancy-dress parties. Other nations may have masked balls and national or regional festivals involving fancy-dress costumes, but they don't have fancy-dress parties every weekend, for no apparent reason or on the flimsiest of excuses, the way the English do. English males seem to have a particular penchant for cross-dressing, seizing every opportunity to deck themselves out in corsets, fishnet stockings and high heels. And it is always the most macho, the most blatantly heterosexual of English men (soldiers, rugby players, etc.) who find it most amusing to dress up as tarty women for fancy-dress parties. This strikes me as yet another form of 'collective eccentricity': we love to break the sartorial rules, providing we can all do it together, in a context of rule-governed cultural remission such as a fancy-dress party, so there's no individual embarrassment.
CLASS RULES
It is much harder nowadays to tell a person's class by his or her dress, but there are still a few fairly reliable indicators. Nothing as obvious as the old distinctions between cloth-caps and pinstripes, but if you look closely, you can identify the unwritten sartorial rules and subtle status-signals.
Youth Rules and Yoof Rules
Class indicators are most difficult to detect among the young, as young people of all classes tend to follow either tribal street-fashions or mainstream trends (which are in any case usually diluted versions of street-fashions). This is annoying for class-conscious parents, as well as class-spotting anthropologists. One upper-middle-class mother complained, 'Jamie and Saskia look just like those yobbos from the council estate. Honestly, what is the point?' Meaning, presumably, what is the point of taking the trouble to give your children 'smart' upper-middle-class names and send them to expensive upper-middle-class schools, when they insist on dressing exactly like Kevin and Tracey from the local comprehensive.
But a more observant mother might have noticed that Jamie and Saskia do not, in fact, look exactly like Kevin and Tracey. Jamie may have his hair cut very short and often gelled into spikes, but Kevin will go one step further and have his shaved off almost entirely, leaving just a few millimetres of fuzz. Saskia's multiple ear-piercings may horrify her parents, and the more audacious Saskias may even have their belly-buttons pierced, but most Saskias will not, like the Traceys, have rings and studs in their eyebrows, noses and tongues as well. Princess Anne's daughter, Zara, had a tongue-stud, but this was a breach of the rules shocking enough to make front-page headline news in all the tabloids. The upper class and aristocracy, like those at the bottom end of the social scale, can ignore the unwritten dress codes because they don't care what the neighbours think. They do not suffer from middle-class class anxiety. If middle-class Saskia gets her tongue pierced, she is in danger of being thought 'common': if aristocratic Zara does it, it is daring and eccentric.
Leaving aside the occasional upper-class exceptions, sartorial differences between middle-class youth and working-class 'yoof' are generally a matter of degree. Both Jamie and Kevin might wear low-slung baggy jeans (a 'gangsta'-influenced style, of black American origin), but Kevin's will be lower and baggier - four sizes too big for him, rather than just two. And working-class Kevins will start wearing this style at a younger age than middle-class Jamies. The same goes for their sisters: Traceys tend to wear more extreme versions of the latest tribal costume than Saskias,58 and to start younger. They are also generally allowed to 'grow up' earlier and faster than Saskias. If you see a pre-pubescent girl dolled up in sexy teenage fashions and make-up, she is almost certainly not middle class.