With all these thoughts rushing at him at once, he looked up and met Marusia’s eyes, welling with tears. He felt he had to make her feel better. He said thoughtfully, “There’s one other possibility, but you must promise to keep it secret. Agreed? I have a friend who lives in Lvov. He’s a colleague of mine from my university days. I’ll write him today and ask him to make some inquiries. I’m sure he won’t refuse.”
Her face took on a look of almost stunning gratitude. She said softly, “You’re a decent man, Ivan. I was so wrong about you. You’re different from what I thought.”
She had become completely transfigured by her love for her brother. “You’re different, too,” he said. “You’ve changed in so many ways. You’re actually even friendly to me …” He broke off and then added, “Yet, at the same time you’re still …”
“I’m still … what? Why don’t you finish?”
“Well, you’re still trying to be something you’re not. Why do you deny who you really are, especially with everything going on around you? You can’t block it from your mind forever. You’re a strange one, Marusia, and I can’t quite figure you out. In spite of all that’s happening, you still insist on speaking Russian. And your Russian isn’t as good as you think it is and it’s filled with all kinds of Ukrainian intonations. The only one you’re fooling is yourself.”
Marusia was about to give him an angry answer, but controlled herself to keep the peace between them.
They fell silent, and as the sun set, the room darkened. Marusia got up to switch on a small lamp by the sofa. She looked at Kulik and said with great effort, “Ivan, I meant to ask you, have you seen Seryoza lately? How’s he doing? Is he all right? He hasn’t come around for the longest time.”
Not knowing what to say, Kulik blurted, “He’s fine. He was quite sick for a while, but now he’s better.”
“Sick?” Marusia looked incredulously at him. “What do you mean, sick? Seryoza’s never been sick a day in his life. What was wrong with him?”
“I think he had the flu.”
“The flu? Why are you lying to me? And I thought you were actually starting to be straight with me. I was even coming to trust you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, don’t pretend with me. Seryoza was never sick with the flu, and you very well know it. No, he was taken to the Zovty Prison and beaten! I know that just as well as you. Some people told me. Why can’t you trust me, why can’t you be open with me?”
Getting up from the sofa, Kulik said calmly, “For our own sakes, Marusia, I think it’s best we drop the subject right now. Things will only get too personal and we’ll end up quarrelling and saying things we might regret. No? You really want me to go ahead? All right then, I’ll tell you. I have to be very careful with what I say to you because your thoughts aren’t always clear, you’re impressionable and confused, and you close your eyes to the truth.” Then he added, “You’re very charming, and I believe you’re struggling to find your way out, but I’m not sure you ever will. So I think you can understand why I can’t trust you, at least not yet.”
She listened to Kulik with close attention. Her small delicate features tightened. Was she truly as inane as he said she was? Was she actually preventing herself from thinking things through?
She settled herself on the sofa, and, patting the seat with her hand, said almost cheerfully, “Ivan, come here and sit next to me. That’s better. Am I causing your blood to tingle? Oh, you, you …” she ran the tips of her fingers along the contours of his face. “What a forehead you have. You don’t even have the slightest crease. Such a fine, strong chin and your features are so heavy and bold. And that gleam in your eye! So devious! What were you like as a child? You must have given your parents a hard time.”
Kulik smiled. “I was a handful, I have to admit. I climbed the highest trees and destroyed crows’ nests.”
“Did you get into fights?”
“All the time. I fought everybody and anybody, big or small. There wasn’t a day I didn’t have a black eye or a bloody nose. The neighbors all agreed I would either grow up to be a criminal or a great man. But as you can see, I’ve become neither. I’m simply a Soviet civil servant of the lowest rank.”
“Were you ever in love?”
“I don’t know — love is so fleeting. And besides, love today has taken on a whole new meaning, it’s become burdensome and painful. It’s lost its appeal. Is there a point to falling in love, to getting married, when they can knock on your door at any time, even on your wedding day? … But let’s not talk about depressing things. Better to think of something pleasant and enjoy the moment.”
Marusia who had turned towards him, felt she had not had a good look at him before. His straight black hair was combed back neatly, his handsome face was clean-shaven. There was something definitely appealing about him, something she had not really noticed until now. Kulik could feel his pulse throb, and impulsively, he leaned toward her, put his arms around her and kissed her on the mouth. She responded.
Then suddenly she tensed and pushed him away. Her demeanor changed completely and she gasped. “What are you trying to do to me? You men are all alike, all of you! Leave me alone!”
No sooner had she pulled herself away, when there came a tapping on the window. It lasted only a few seconds. Rushing to the window, she pulled the curtains slightly apart, peered outside, and whispered nervously, “Ivan, I think there’s someone out there.”
The two stood in silence and listened. When they looked out again, they saw only the branch of an elderberry bush brushing up against the lower pane.
“I’ll go outside and take a better look.” Kulik started for the door, but Marusia grasped his arm.
“No, don’t go. It was probably nothing.”
It occurred to her that it was around this time that Sobakin left for the Zovty Prison. She quickly concluded that her worst nightmare had come true: it was Sobakin at the window! Looking frantically at Kulik, she could feel her heart begin to pound faster and faster. Taking his hand in hers and squeezing it tightly, looking deep into his eyes, she knew she could never forgive herself if anything were to happen to him.
CHAPTER 29
It was well past nine o’clock when outside the Bohdanovich house there were a series of ear-piercing screams, followed by shouts. Marusia instantly recognized the voices of her mother and father. Turning on the lights, she ran outside to find her parents stumbling about in the darkness.
“I’ll catch that damn thief if it’s the last thing I do,” Efrosinia was yelling. “I’ll break his legs in two, I swear!”
Seeing her daughter, she called out, “Marusia, did you hear anything from the house? There was someone prowling around out here, trying to get in through one of the windows. Oh, if only I got a better look at him.” Then catching sight of Kulik by the door, “And you, what a fine product of a man you are! You should have gone outside right away, grabbed him by the collar, and called the police. The police would have known exactly what to do with the likes of him!”
Efrosinia rushed into the house to see if anything was missing. She held up her long black frock so she wouldn’t trip on it. When everything appeared in order, she went into the living room and plopped herself down on the sofa. Brushing a few loose strands of gray hair from her face, she drew a deep breath. Then she fixed her gaze upon Kulik, standing by the doorway.
Kulik winced. He knew that he was not exactly her favorite person, and it was just a matter of time before she would start berating him. But for some reason she ignored him. Her face worked and from her mouth came a series of strange, broken sounds; she seemed to be trying to say her son’s name. Weeping, she repeated these sounds several times.