Then in a full voice, I said, "Call me if you need some masturbation pointers." Sophia fumed as I left the building.
Although my body relaxed, my nerves were on the edge. Friday night, I would no longer be a virgin, and it no longer would be a big deal. I could move on with my life and have sex with whomever. No more bid wars, no more jealousy, no more virgin, and for the first time, I was truly okay with that.
The car seemed like a good place to get away, close my eyes, and run through my day so far. Jesse stormed behind me, not saying a word.
The rest of the day flew by. My legs felt silky smooth, and so did everything else. Once my hair was trimmed, eyebrows shaped, and body massaged, I just wanted to take a nap. The mimosas didn't help. Jesse left me at the spa alone, and I couldn't help but think about Friday.
Would I feel any different?
Would I no longer be special to Finn, Luke, and to the other Elite who wanted me? Did it even matter in the realm of things?
I lounged in the waiting area, and then dressed.
My life would change.
There was no doubt about that.
I sucked in a deep breath and made my way inside the house. V sat in the driveway, so I knew Finn was home. After the shit he pulled today, and after the mess he left me in, my feelings were broken. Hurt because he validated what I knew. We would never be anything more than what we were: coworkers.
But did I want more?
Or was it just an addicting game that I had to win?
My feelings were in braids, and I didn't know which strand I wanted as I tried to undo them.
Before I opened the door, I secretly hoped he wouldn't be within sight. My hands were full of the midnight blue dress, lingerie, and three-inch heels Sophia picked out for me. I just wanted to go upstairs.
As I walked in, Finn sat at the table with a crossword puzzle. My breath hitched as I looked at him. But I forced it away, trying not to give him another glance, and climbed the stairs two at a time. Refusing to turn around, I went to my room and lightly swung open the door. Everything that was in my hands fell to the floor and I leaned against the door with my eyes closed.
On the bed, there was a black envelope and a small box. I didn't want to read it, but curiosity killed me. Giving in begrudgingly, I peeled open the envelope and pulled out the soft paper.
Wear this on Friday.
-F
I lifted the lid on the box and moved the white tissue paper aside. A black mask with silver feathers and embroidered doves lay in the bottom of the box. The dress, the shoes, the mask… I would attend a masquerade ball. Everyone kept the secret from me, and Finnley made sure to have his Girl prepared. The mask matched the lining of the dress and the lingerie perfectly, and somehow I knew he had handpicked each piece.
I placed the mask back in its box and the rest of the virginity-losing-gear in the closet.
Nineteen
Days and nights passed, and Finn avoided me like the plague until Friday came. I hadn't heard from Luke in days, and Lori was away on business.
Loneliness lingered and left me to my thoughts. Not random ones, but terrible thoughts of my parent's death. I tried to busy myself in books and fantasy worlds, and the fictional people helped take me away. Mr. Darcy and others filled my waking and sleeping moments. Each day seemed to be a repeat of the one before until Fucking Friday arrived.
Fucking Friday, I had termed it, was the day that I would have sexy time. I joked about watching porn, but without anyone to talk to, I almost wanted to have a porn-a-thon to get some sort of idea. I would call Abbie, but the bitchy text from her threatening to punch me in the throat the next time she saw me because I didn't call or see her while I was home kept me silent.
After I showered, I looked in the mirror and studied each part of my naked body, wondering if I would feel different the day afterward, or if all would be the same. I would lose my virginity. Would I enjoy the first time? Would it hurt? Would Luke use whips or chains, or would he be sweet and careful with me? I didn't know the answer because I felt like there were things about him I didn't know.
Hours passed, and I fidgeted with my hair and makeup until I felt pretty. Barrel curls, smoky gray eye shadow, and deep red lipstick matched the attire and my mood. I wanted to be scandalous and sexy, and once I slipped into the lingerie, I did.
I placed the mask on my face. It fit like it were designed for me alone, just as everything else had, because it was.
A smile crept across my face, and a tinge of excitement traveled through me. If it wouldn't have been a social event, I would have gone in the sexy undergarments and a long coat. Imagining how Luke would lust over me made me feel powerful.
Always ever so punctual, I arrived downstairs early and waited for Charlie. I peeked out the window and saw V on the circle drive. My nerves went haywire when I thought about the box with the little ribbon, the lingerie, and how I hadn't spoken to him in days. Not since the day he walked away. I closed my eyes and hoped he wouldn't see me before I met Luke. I didn't need him to drive a deadly spear into my happiness.
Lady Luck was on my side this time. I escaped without seeing Finn, but the silence that lingered in the limo gave me too much time to think and overanalyze his actions.
Exotic cars lined the circle drive. Chatter and music drifted from the house. To my right sat the black and silver mask. As we slowed, I adjusted it over my face and took a deep breath. Tonight was the night.
A man wearing stark white gloves and a penguin-flapped suit escorted me to the entrance where a woman handed me a crystal flute of champagne. Resist, I did not.
I glided through the crowd like a ghost in a graveyard, searching for Luke. Pretty girls accompanied handsome men. Fancy shoes and dresses combined with evening hair, and elegant masks of all different shapes and sizes. Some wore full masks; others wore those that only covered half their faces.
I entered the living area where a staircase rose up the middle. The second floor looked over the crowd below. Soft music followed by laughter surrounded the business talk, but Luke was nonexistent.
I finished my champagne and replaced it with another. Fresh strawberries floated in the top of my glass and the sweetness filled my mouth, making my taste buds explode with the delicious flavor. Curious, I took the stairs to the upper floor and smiled as I passed familiar, but unknown faces.
He had done well with decorating the place. At the top of the winding stairs hung a perfect rendition of Van Gogh's Starry Night. The detail in the brush strokes and the preciseness it took to get it just right amazed me.
I continued to sip my strawberry champagne, and walked further down the halls, appreciating each painting. At the end of the hall, a picture hung that I had experienced in real life. The painting portrayed Luke and I at the park the first night we met. The moon held the craters, and glow of the real one, but the stars shone brighter. In the painting, Luke smiled at… me. My eyes were looking toward the ground, and I laughed. Every characteristic and detail represented my innocence in the simplest form. Innocence I felt I had lost somewhere in the mix.
"Do you like it?"
Startling me from my gaze, I gulped and turned. Luke.
"I love it. But the detail… it's amazing."
"I painted what I remembered of the first night we spent together. I named this one Something New. The others I've painted have been abstract, copies, or simple illustrations, and I treasure them. But this, this is a memory that will be forever burned into my mind," Luke said.