Smells of freshly roasted coffee beans and sugar filled the room as Finn sipped and stood at the window, watching the sunrise. I watched him from behind—taking in every muscle and curve of his body in tattered jeans and a T-shirt—as he drank. A smile crossed my face as I snuggled into the feathery blanket. He turned around when I moved, and I closed my eyes quickly.
I heard him set the coffee on the little table next to the bed, then his hand touched my head, and his lips on my forehead. I opened my eyes as he pulled away.
"Good morning," he said. "My mother used to say that a person could kiss away fever."
"Really?"
He nodded his head and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Are you feeling better?"
I sat up, and he handed me a cup of tea. Blueberries and honey hit my lips and warmed my soul.
"We need to talk," he said. He was all business.
After clearing his throat, he continued. "Luke called. He's very worried. Since you are his, currently, he asked if he could visit. I told him that would be your choice whether to see him or not. My answer is…"
"Yes. That will be fine," I said.
"All right."
Finn stood, gave a smile, and walked down the stairs. When the door opened, Luke appeared.
"I waited downstairs because I knew you'd see me." Luke came to me, and hugged my neck. His jaw clenched when he caught sight of me and he released a long breath.
"I will kill the little bastard who did this to you. You could have died."
"Yeah. That's what they tell me. How did your painting go? Good I hope?"
He pulled his phone from his pocket and showed me the picture of the finished product. Luke had outdone himself. A huge green pasture with a nice yellow and pink sky sunset spread behind it. On the far corner sat a farmhouse, a barn, and various colored horses: paints, Arabians, and palominos.
"You can scroll through."
On the porch, a woman with golden brown skin, and sunlight reflecting on her brown hair.
"Oh god. That's me, again. You always make me look so pretty."
He had painted me in cowboy boots, tight blue jeans, with my arms crossed, smiling while leaning against the railing. On the bottom of the picture in a cursive script, read Pioneer Woman. The grass blew in the breeze, and the background went on for miles. I felt as if I had traveled back to the house, and I was looking at it directly. The shadowing, coloring, everything was perfect. He even added a few oil derricks in the background to give it that Texas oil look.
"I tried to remember the time we shared. The company said they wanted a picture with a country feel to it, pioneerish. While I was gone, I couldn't stop thinking about you and the house. Now everyone around the world can appreciate you both."
I blushed.
"It's beautiful. I… I just don't know what to say other than thank you. The things you can do with paint. It's unbelievable."
I handed back his phone, and he grabbed my neck and hugged me.
"I was really worried."
I pulled away and looked into his eyes.
"I'm not going anywhere. Seriously, everyone is making a big deal about it. I'm fine."
Luke lifted his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders.
"If you say so."
The door cracked open, and Finn walked in with Abbie trailing behind him like a puppy with her tail between her legs. Sickening.
They all sat on the side of the bed, and the silence dragged on.
Luke said his goodbyes and Finnley walked him out, leaving me alone with the girl I once trusted with all of my secrets. The only person still alive that knew every detail about me, but I didn't speak first because I had nothing to say.
"I didn't tell him, you know. About your parents."
She knew how to get me talking.
"I didn't think you would."
"We didn't have sex."
The word "sex" made my blood boil. The thought of them in the basement, her bent over the bed with her ass in the air waiting for him to take her, made me sick. If I wouldn't have walked in, they would have gone through with it, and if I wouldn't have woken up, it may have went on for days. Would she have told me she fucked my boss?
"But you would have fucked him," I said.
"Yeah. I would still do it right now if he came in here and asked me. But he told me no. Not sure what happened between the two of you last night, but after that, he's been different."
"We didn't have sex," I said in the same tone as her.
"Would you?" she asked.
"No. And I don't want you having sex with him, either. He's my boss, and you're my best friend, it would put me in an awkward situation. I don't want to deal with it."
The silence nagged on for minutes.
"Why don't you tell me the truth? You don't want me to fuck him because you want to."
"No. I do not."
She scooted closer to me on the bed and grabbed my arm so tightly that it hurt.
"Tell me to my face. Look me in the eyes and say you don't."
"I do not want to fuck Finnley."
Finn opened the door, and she whispered under her breath, just loudly enough for me to hear, "You're lying."
Twenty-two
The next day, Abbie was on an early plane back to Texas. I didn't care. I needed time away from her to think and get over it. I would get over it, maybe.
After I fell back into my routine, Finn visited me in the night. He crawled into my bed and wrapped his arm around me as I turned around. I saw nothing but sadness in his eyes.
"Jennifer. We have to stop this. It's bad for business. Unfair to my clients. And the Girls are starting to talk. I can't have that."
"Then I'll quit."
"No. I can't have that, either. I'm not worth it, trust me. Sometimes I can be a son of a bitch. I treat women I'm in relationships with badly. I'm toxic. And I owe that to you. To stop this before it becomes too much or something too serious. It has to stop now."
"I understand."
He left me empty with no promises.
No insinuations. Nothing.
And he meant it had to stop.
I accepted it. I was too tired to continue.
I had to because Finnley started dating, and looked past me in a crowd of people as if I were nothing. I became invisible as the days turned into nights, and nights into days. I was stuck in a loop until I felt like my old self again. Then I was released to go back to work. Work.
I had someone to take my mind from it all. I would give myself to someone that made me happy and enjoyed spending every minute with me: Luke.
The dates were short and sweet. We took walks in the park, shared a few secrets, and joked about cowboys and beaches. A month had come and gone, and I was over Finn. Not seeing him helped.
Since I was on the job again, Jesse made sure to setup a meeting in Mr. Felton's office about my behavior, and I was given a verbal warning about being unprofessional at the dress shop.
I had forgotten all about the masturbation mishap.
Mr. Felton, in his three-piece suit, acted as a witness to my warning. It was the first time I had seen him in weeks. I refused to make eye contact and kept my eyes to the floor. Apologized and agreed it would never happen again. It couldn't and wouldn't. We stood to leave, and before I left, Mr. Felton called me back into the office. Once inside and alone, Mr. Felton burst into laughter.
Embarrassed, I put my hand over my eyes and waited for it to be over.
Note taken. Being the bitch she was, Jesse made him sign my warning, and lesson fucking learned. Not sure why I never expected it to be exposed, considering Jesse still rode my ass and hated me.
"I didn't know you had it in you. And the things you said to Sophia, was that her name? Hilarious."