Finnley chased after me, yelled my name and begged me to stop, but I couldn't. It was either fight or flight, and at the moment, I just wanted to get the fuck away from him, Jesse, and the whole fucked up situation. Abbie had been too much to handle, and now this?
Best friend to arch enemy, what the hell?
Eleven
I ran through the lobby to the Honda and struggled to unlock the door. My feelings were in too much of a frenzy, and I couldn't steady my hand. Finnley ran out of the building at a full sprint toward me, yelling.
"Stop, Jennifer. Please." He wasn’t even out of breath and I knew he had taken the stairs.
"I can't keep doing this to myself."
"Please… let me explain," he said.
My heart broke, leaving a heavy pressure on my chest. I was on the verge of losing control of my emotions.
Jesse's laugh reverberated in the streets as she followed behind Finnley. He turned and scowled at her, but kept his attention on me. When he reached out to grab me, I moved away from him. I forced open the car door and stuck the key in the ignition.
"Jennifer." He slammed his hand against the window. I refused to look at him. Instead, I placed the car into drive and sped on. In the rearview mirror, I saw him standing outside of The Elite building, watching me drive away with his hands balled in fists. Emotions fueled me forward. I turned a corner and was on the road to nowhere. I just had to get away.
My phone rang; Felton popped up and I threw it in the seat. I couldn't keep doing this. Did I really accept that the guy I had feelings for sold sex for a living? Would I feel second par forever?
I replayed the facts that I had witnessed. Finn's hands were on Jesse's shirt. He stood in front of her. Did he look like he enjoyed it? Not really. But what were they doing? Why was she smiling so big?
I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. Anger filled me, then sadness, then anger again. I should have grabbed Jesse by her hair and forced her out of his office, then beat the shit out of her. But that was assault, and I wasn't a violent person, as much as she made me want to fight.
I pulled over on the side of the road, ran my fingers through my hair, and leaned my head against the steering wheel. Control, I had to find it before I got lost in a mind spin of rage.
My phone rang again. I picked it up, but before I rejected it, I saw that it was Luke. My heart dropped, and for a moment I thought about not answering, but... fuck it. What did I really have to lose?
"Hi," I said with a shaky, small voice.
"Jennifer, I wanted to… wait, is everything okay?"
When I sucked in a breath, my nose burned and I thought the tears would come, but instead I masked my feelings from him.
"No."
"Where are you?"
"I don't know. On the side of the road somewhere."
"Do you need help?"
Silence lingered.
"You can't help me. Everything is fine. Just a little upset."
"Well meet me somewhere. We need to talk."
"I can't, Luke. Really, I need time alone."
"Come to my house. I won't take very much of your time. I promise."
"Alright." I hung up the phone, made a U-turn, and headed toward Luke's house in the Valley. Honestly, I wasn't sure what I would say when I got there. The emptiness in the pit of my stomach swelled. The thoughts of Finn and Jesse sickened me.
When I saw Luke's house in the distance, my nerves went haywire. The last time I saw him, he was running away from me. Now here I was, running to him.
I sat outside for a few minutes and tried to recoup, to swallow it all down. Put on that pretty face and hide the sadness that lurked in the shadows. After I took a deep breath, I looked over and saw Luke walking toward me in loose fitting jeans and a t-shirt with the sleeves shoved to his elbows. Paint splatters covered his hands and shirt. He must have been working.
I stepped out of the car and he drew me into his arms and hugged me. I didn't know if the tears would stay at bay. I knew once they started, they wouldn't stop.
"I'm sorry for treating you the way I did the other day."
I took in his familiar smell of summer, paint, and creativity. He pulled back and searched my face.
"What's wrong? I can tell something isn't right."
I swallowed. "I deserve to be treated badly by you. I'm a horrible person, and I'm sorry."
"You're not. You can't help who you love."
I laughed sarcastically. If he only knew how much that statement rang true. We can't choose who we love, and if we could, I'm sure half the people in America wouldn't get divorced or be in toxic relationships. It isn't easy to stop loving someone, even if they are bad for business.
"You must be cold. Let’s go inside."
Luke put his arm over my shoulder and led me in. Everything was clean and in place except for newspapers and pieces of mail scattered across the bar. He could find inspiration in anything.
"Are you going to tell me now?"
"I went to visit Finnley." I hesitated, then continued. "And when I walked into his office, Jesse was topless. And I was so shocked I left. I just left. I couldn't handle it."
"It hurts when the person you love is with someone else." Now he laughed sarcastically, and I heard the pain in his voice. I closed my eyes and pushed my face into my hands. That's when the tears came. It wasn't always easy to be strong. Sometimes even the strongest bridges collapsed, warships were decommissioned, and armies destroyed. I was no different.
Luke was by my side, forcing me to stand. He placed his arms around me, calmed me, and coaxed me to let it all out. The build of emotions came but I refused to cry over Finn, Luke, my parents, Abbie, and everything that I had bottled up for the past few months. I stood deflated and swallowed it back, again. After I had made a complete and utter puss out of myself, I wiped my watering eyes, and hoped the tears would stay away. I seriously hated the way I looked when I cried. It was something that needed to be done alone. I didn't want pity from anyone, especially Luke.
He lifted my chin and forced me to look into his blue eyes. "I forgive you. I'm leaving tomorrow for Paris, and I wanted you to know that I'm not mad at you. As much as I want to hate you and my brother, I can't."
"You're leaving tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I decided to arrive a week early to get started on that project, and I found a flat that's fully furnished. Might as well get away. There's something that I want to show you before I leave." Then he smiled that boyish grin that overtook his whole face, and I couldn't help but smile back. "Come on." He patted my back, and we were climbing up the stairs.
Starry Night said hello, along with the pictures that Luke had painted of us. The guilt consumed me. The door to his studio was open, and we stepped inside. The canvases were almost in the same exact spot they were when I took my private tour, but there were more sketches along the walls. White sheets and plastic were draped across the floor, with paintbrushes and paint scattered by the eight foot canvas. He stood by his work of art with a huge smile on his face.
Paris. A lighted Eiffel Tower with flecks of snow falling around it filled the space. At the bottom was a couple holding hands, looking up at the masterpiece. The painting looked so realistic that I felt like I was there. I moved closer and admired each stroke of paint, every small fleck of snow, and the realism.
"Do you like it?"
"It's beautiful. You're so talented." We stood shoulder to shoulder staring at it.
"It's got a few imperfections, but for the most part, I'm happy with it."
I turned and looked at him. "Everything has imperfections. I feel like I am standing right there. Seriously, I think it's perfect the way it is."