I pulled the keys from my pocket and made my way to V. The temperature had dropped significantly, and winter had swooped in overnight. My favorite season had finally arrived; I thought the cold would never visit. I unlocked the car and sat in the driver’s seat contemplating going home. Fuck the meetings. I sent an email to April, my secretary, and had them rescheduled. I couldn't focus anyway.
V and I zipped and zoomed down the empty streets. Excitement filled me knowing that Jennifer would be at my house. The last time I felt this way was with Jackie, my first wife. My thoughts temporarily went dark, and I forced them away. Out of all the beautiful souls in the universe, Jackie would want me happy. She would want me with someone that I could potentially spend the rest of my life with. Did I feel good about being with another woman? For the first time since the accident, my answer was yes.
Pressing the garage button, I pulled V in and took a deep breath before stepping out. I adjusted my tie and swallowed. The lights were on in the kitchen, and I saw movement by the sink. Jennifer stood with a glass of wine.
"Hi," I said, trying to push all of my emotions back as I caught sight of her.
"You left work?"
"I'm allowed to do that."
She smiled. "Of course you are."
"Helped yourself to my wine, I see."
She downed what remained and refilled the glass halfway. Then pulled another glass from the cabinet and matched her pour, plus some, and handed it to me. I lifted an eyebrow at her, and she smiled over the rim.
"Are we going to play hard to get all day?" she asked.
I set the wine down on the counter and stalked closer toward her. She set hers down as well, and I pressed my body against hers, forcing her back on the cool counter. Her breath caught as I stood over her. I fucking loved that I could do that.
"What did you have in mind?" I whispered in her ear and trailed my lips across her neck. Her chest rose and fell with each staggering breath, then she tugged my hair and pulled me closer to her mouth. Hungrily, she kissed my lips and undid my tie.
"Hold on. Jesus, I'm not going to let you take me in the kitchen."
"I can't take the willing," she said as she continued to undo each button on my shirt.
God was she right.
I hiked her dress up over waist and caught sight of her bare body. No panties. "You are so fucking naughty," I said.
She removed the dress until she stood completely naked with boots zipped to her knees. My pants still hugged my waist and every inch of me needed her. As she pulled me in, I stopped and pushed away from her.
"I'm not going to fuck you in the kitchen." I grabbed her hand and led her beautiful ass to my bedroom. Once inside, she glanced at the king-size bed and all of the surrounding furniture.
She walked to the picture frames on top of the dresser and picked up the silver frame with a photo from my wedding day. She stared for minutes before speaking. A lump formed in the back of my throat, and I sucked in a deep breath before taking the frame from her hand and gently setting it back on the dresser where it had been for the past seven years. She looked into my eyes with so much pity and pain.
"Don’t pity me."
"I don't. She was beautiful."
My desire to lay Jennifer down on my bed and make sweet love to her instantly disappeared. How stupid was I to leave all of those pictures on the dresser? A part of me regretted not putting my memories of Jackie away, but I had to keep them with me because I was afraid that if I moved the frames I would forget her. Forget the way she looked when she smiled. Forget the freckles that sprinkled across her nose, or the sound of her voice and laugh. Most of the small things that I love had almost vanished with time, but occasionally she would visit me in my dreams and leave me with a piece of her. I had several memories of her locked away in my heart, and they would stay there forever. Although I was ready to move on and be with Jennifer, I wasn't ready to forget Jackie. I would never be ready to forget her.
I zipped my pants and left the room. The pictures combined with the smell of Jennifer and her beautiful naked body became too much. My feelings for both women crossed and intermingled with one another, and I had to walk away.
Having a seat at the barstool in the kitchen, I drank the glass of wine that Jennifer poured. I would have to fight my demons, or I would never be able to fully move on. Fucking emotions.
Three
I really hated being nosey. Why did I grab the picture of his wife on their wedding day? Couldn't I have just let the curiosity consume me later? Much later, like after we had made sweet love to one another? I wanted Finnley so fucking bad that it hurt. But it also hurt to know that he was hurting, and although I said I didn't pity him, a small part of me did. He was a widower at twenty-three. Terrible things like that happened to people, but not often, and usually not at such a young age. Losing both parents had almost destroyed me, and they would never be replaced. A lover, on the other hand, could.
If I were in his situation, I wondered if I would look for someone else, or if I would just stay alone forever. I buried those thoughts, because I didn't know the answer and wouldn't bathe in the negativity that seemed to surround me.
Instead of following Finn, I let him go, even if just for a few minutes. It sucked, but I had learned to leave him alone while at the Estates, and I would do the same here.
While I was in his room, I took my time looking at all the pictures on the dresser. She was beautiful. Dark hair and eyes, with freckles lightly brushed across her nose. Everything about her was perfect. She was genuinely pretty. I could see why Finnley loved her.
I almost imagined her voice, soft and sincere. In one picture, she laughed so hard that I wondered what Finnley had said before he snapped the moment. Pictures of their wedding day and random trips were scattered across the dresser. He looked so young, so in love, and so…. vulnerable. The man that ran The Elite was not the man in these pictures. Something in him had changed.
I sighed and unzipped the boots from my legs.
Still naked, I walked into the kitchen, moved behind Finnley, and massaged his muscular shoulders. Then I slowly kissed up the back and sides of his neck. He swiveled the barstool around, and I moved between his legs. He rested his forehead upon mine and closed his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Don’t be."
I brushed my lips against his painting my emotions with kisses, and his intensity grew, almost matching mine.
"You should have just fucked me on the counter," I said.
"No."
Finnley pulled me into his arms and carried me into his room. He set me down on the soft blankets, and I pulled him onto the bed beside me.
"What?" I asked and looked at him incredulously.
"Sometimes you are so damn ridiculous."
I sat up in bed and slapped his stomach. "No, I'm not! Asshole."
"Yes, you are. How did I end up in here again? Wait, it's because you're ridiculous and relentless when you want something."
"Well I can't deny that."
Then he was on top of me, smiling, staring into my eyes and kissing my neck. His lips trailed up and down my body, finishing with my mouth.
"You drive me crazy, you know." His thumb swept across my bottom lip, and I kissed it.
"Make love to me," I said, reaching down to unfasten his pants.