"This is not what I agreed to."
I slightly turned my body and stared at him, or tried to. For the first time since I had been captured, Luke seemed worried which frightened the shit out of me.
"There weren't any stipulations when you signed the papers to take her virginity. Now fucking enter."
He let go of my arm and turned completely around to face Jesse.
"I don't want to do this here, in front of people. I want to take her to my house."
My mouth dropped open.
"Then maybe you should have been more specific with your requests."
Jesse forced herself on me and slammed me against the wall. The drugs that mixed with my blood flooded me, and I couldn't control my strength. Everything was moving, and weird. Unstable.
Jesse flicked the blade of her knife and held it at my throat. I wanted to choke the life out of her. I wanted to see her die in front of me.
The hate that she released scared me.
I tried to ball my fists.
"Either you fuck her, or I'll find someone else. Or maybe I'll kill her right here and be done with it completely."
I stood still trying to plaster myself to the cool brick wall. Any movement and the blade would have sliced through my main artery.
"I'll do it. I will. This isn't my ideal scenario, but that's okay. Consider it done," Luke said.
Jesse smiled and slowly removed the knife from my throat.
"I'm wondering if I can trust you, Luke. Don't make me question you."
She flipped the knife closed and tucked it in her boot. I slid down the wall and closed my eyes when Luke wrapped his arms around Jesse and held her passionately.
"You know you can trust me." He pushed her away and stared into her eyes. "You know me. You know how bad I want this so we can move on. It will be over tonight, and we can move on together."
"I won't move on until Finnley is mine."
"Am I not good enough for you?"
She never answered.
I didn't know if he was serious or if he was acting. Luke. I wanted to yell at him, scream his name, ask him what the hell he thought he was doing, but I didn't want to die. Jesse was capable of horrible things, and killing me seemed to be at the top of her list. I would keep quiet so I could live. I would shut the fuck up for Finnley.
I swallowed back the bile that rose in my throat. The sickening feeling that everything I believed was wrong taunted me. I let out a long sigh trying to recoup, and they both turned their heads and stared at me. Luke pursed his lips, narrowed his eyes, and slightly shook his head. Jesse's nostrils flared.
"I want to fucking kill her. I hate looking at her."
"After I take her virginity, Finnley won't desire her anymore. I know my brother. He wants her for that, and that's all. Once I take it, he will be over her and move on to the next best thing."
"Good." She flipped her hair over her shoulders pushed Luke away. He came to me and lifted me from the ground. We stared at one another, and I just wanted to know what he was doing. He swallowed, then interlocked his fingers with mine and looked at the door.
We entered.
Yellow buzzing lights hung from the ceiling. A bed stood in the middle of the room and window walls surrounded every inch. On the other side sat people in chairs, watching us. Voyeurism wasn't my thing.
Luke leaned down and whispered in my ear as he ran his fingers through my hair.
"I didn't expect this. I'm not sure how to get out of this one."
I laughed and shook my head. "You're a fucking idiot."
He moved me closer to him, kissed my neck, and whispered in my ear again, "You're right. I'm sorry. I thought I could handle this. I thought I could save you."
"What are we going to do?" I asked.
He pushed me away and searched my face. "Pretend."
Then his lips crashed into mine, and I pretended as I slipped in and out of reality. I pretended that Luke was Finnley, and that I would never be able to kiss or see him again. Luke gave me everything he had, and I wouldn't believe he faked it.
He ran his fingers through my hair, and my lips hurt from his hard kisses. His tongue wrestled with mine, and he latched onto my hips to steady me. My legs were like noodles and I forced them straight.
Luke moved me toward the bed and gently positioned me on top of the soft mattress. I forced my stuck eyelids open.
Were we really going to do this? Was he really going to fuck me in front of a hundred people when I had no control over my own body?
I didn't want to. I didn't want to kiss him, be close to him, or even pretend.
I wanted my Finn.
I wanted love.
I wanted to be away from here and forget it ever happened.
Luke kissed up my stomach and trailed his lips over my breasts. He moved my face and forced me to look at him, then kissed me again.
"Please, Luke. Please don’t."
I begged him. I wanted him to stop.
An intercom screeched, and my ears rang with an echo.
"We don’t have all night, Luke."
He stood, unbuttoned, and unzipped his pants. The blue jeans fell to the ground. He stepped from them and stood in his boxers. I studied his tattoos, the thirteen, the key, the quote on his chest, then I closed my eyes. This man, this beautiful man, was about to take something so sacred away from me, not my virginity, but my pride, and all for the sake of pretending. For saving my life?
If that were the case, then let me rot, because what was to say she wouldn't still kill me afterward? Nothing protected me, not Luke, not my bastard, no one was my friend down here where the whores, pimps, and prostitutes ran wild. I was a fish out of water who was about to be fucked by a man that I once thought was kind. Someone that I wanted nothing but the best for. Someone who betrayed me to save me but…
Luke climbed back on the bed and inched my panties down my legs. The lace stayed wrapped around my ankles. I wanted to kick and thrash, but barely moved as he positioned himself on top of me.
"Now fuck her," Jesse said. "Do it."
I stared into Luke's blue eyes, and as I tried to focus, the world faded away. I thought I heard gunshots in the distance but I was lost in darkness and couldn't emerge from its depths.
"Please don't." I managed to whisper before completely losing my reality.
FINNLEY
Thirty-five
Abbot's men were happy to freely shoot semi-automatic weapons. I didn't care for the cold metal between my hands. It felt dangerous, destructible, and foreign, but in that instance, having the extra protection was necessary. I didn't know what to expect when we burst down the doors leading to the whores and pimps who ruled the underground. I never understood why it was underground, considering prostitution was legal in Vegas. Never mind. Behind every whore was a pimp. Those men truly ruled the underground with their love of money, crime, and disrespect for women. It sickened me and only fueled my hate.
As I passed, women offered cheap blowjobs and sex. The group of us scooted past them. They smelled like piss and sex, and I knew the clothes they wore were dirty. Half of them were stoned out of their mind, barely able to make eye contact or keep their heads from bobbing. I knew the horrid side of the business but hadn’t realized it had gotten so bad.
Whispers of meth, heroine, and getting the next fix echoed through the halls. I tried not to stare at them or make eye contact. I often felt like I alone could save the world, but I knew that was a lost cause. I tried once. None of the women wanted to leave, regardless of the protection I offered them. This life was what they knew. This life was what they wanted. Most of them felt as if they weren't good enough to do anything else with themselves; some didn't want to. It saddened me and pissed me off all at the same time.