The suffering was over. Now, the living began.
Sorcerers stopped in their tracks and gaped at the tall, tall Were-cat as he passed, looking like they'd seen a ghost. Servants and guards melted out of the way of the Goddess, looking pale and nervous. They probably knew that a god was going by, and nobody could look at her and not be utterly awed. Tarrin ignored them, keeping a gentle hold on Jenna's hand, just happy that he'd been given a second chance. He couldn't remember being dead, and for some reason he was glad of that. It was best if he never knew what that was like, better to only know of what was before him. That was why he was glad he had no memory of being a god. That way there was no grounds for comparison, no knowledge of anything except what he had, what he was, and all the joys and hardships that went along with it. It was the bliss of ignorance, and it was an ignorance that he embraced willingly. He wanted nothing detracting from the experiences of this life, his life. He wanted no veil of regret distorting things as he watched his daughter grow up, as he spent all the time with Jesmind that he could before time and their Were natures pushed them apart. He wanted to enjoy it for all it was worth, never knowing if other states of being he had experienced were actually better than what he had. Being happy with the simple pleasures and trials of being a mortal. To him, grounded in the Were instincts of celebrating life, there could be nothing better. The same qualities that had made him the best mortal suited for defending the Firestaff were the qualities that made him reject the memory of what he had once been, made him blissfully content to return to a simple life of uncomplicated happiness.
All he had ever wanted out of life was a cozy house in a meadow surrounded by the beauty and wonder of the forest. A place where he could simply live. And he meant to have just that. There was nothing stopping him now, nothing holding him back, no vows or missions or duty standing in his way. He was free now, free to do anything he wanted, free to pursue the life for which he had yearned.
He was free.
Never before had he found such joy in such a simple thing. Service to the Goddess was a sweet bondage, but she understood his nature, and she knew that he would be happiest when he was in service to no one but himself. He loved his Goddess, and he had served her needs over his own willingly, but now she no longer needed her Champion. There was nobody left for him to fight. He would always be there when she needed him, and she knew it, but for now, he was certain that she'd be perfectly happy to leave him alone, to enjoy the simple life of a Were-cat who had had enough of the human world and its irritatingly chaotic bustling. It was time to go back to where he felt he belonged, to the place where everything was simple and pure and wonderfully slow and boring.
It was time to go home.
Before he realized it, he was standing at the door to Jesmind's apartment. The Goddess and Jenna had stepped aside, and both of them were smiling at him encouragingly. They wanted him to go in first. Well, that was just fine with him. He was just a little intimidated by what he was going to face in that room, but he knew that it would be wonderful. He put his paw on the doorhandle confidently, and then swung the door open.
For a brief instant, nobody noticed the opening of the door, and Tarrin took in the scene before him. Jesmind had Jasana in her arms, her back currently to him as she paced to and fro in front of the fireplace. Eron was trailing along behind her easily, his eyes fixated on the twitching tip of Jesmind's tail. Keritanima and Allia sat with Miranda around a small table playing cards with Dolanna, as Azakar, Binter, and Sisska stood close to them. Phandebrass had a book in his lap, scribbling in it furiously as Camara Tal, Koran Tal, Dar and Tiella were gathered around Mist and Kimmie. Each of them was holding something very small in their arms, something over which Sarraya was hovering. Triana stood silently at the door-sized window that led out onto the balcony, her tail motionless as she gazed out to the city beyond. Auli was there as well, along with Allyn, and they were looking at a piece of paper in the hands of Rallix, the badger Wikuni that was Keritanima's husband. Ianelle was with them, pointing to something on it and looking at the thin Wikuni male with steady eyes. Darvon and Kang were standing near the large tea table by the fire, leaning over it with the Demoness Shiika, arguing over some kind of military tactic or something similar as the Demoness watched and learned from the two towering military minds with narrow-eyed interest. For a brief moment, Tarrin felt the emptiness of the two who were supposed to be there. Jula was missing, left behind by a forgetful Triana, but at least he could get her back. But Faalken was gone, and there seemed to be a faint quality about the room that spoke of him, as if he watched from his eternal reward and celebrated with them. In a way, Tarrin realized, the cherubic Knight would have found some reason to think that all this was rather funny.
So many people in such a small room, but it was the two that were missing that struck mostly in his mind and soul.
The first one to notice him was Jasana. She had her chin on her mother's shoulder, and she raised her eyes and saw him standing in the doorway. She squealed suddenly and thrashed against her mother, startling her badly enough to make her let go. Every eye locked on Jasana, which kept all of them from noticing him. Jasana hit the ground running, and her overjoyed exclamation rung like the sweetest music in his ears.
"Papa!!!!!!"
Tarrin knelt down, and he collected up his precious child in arms trembling in joy and relief. He held onto her tightly, taking in her scent, holding her close, and in tears in his joy at seeing her. He had asacrificed everything for this priceless child, this wondrous gift in his arms, and he would do it all again without hesitation. All the pain and anxiety over having her stolen from him, of not knowing if she was well, of knowing she was in the hands of his enemies, it all poured out of him, poured out of him and was forgotten as it found release, as he held his daughter in his arms and knew that she was safe. He put his paw on her head with exquisite tenderness and just held her for that moment, one of the happiest moments of his life.
Jesmind crashed into them, her claws digging into him as she crushed their daughter between them. Tarrin put an arm around her and embraced her, kissed her, heard her loud cries and sobs of joy. Other scents, other hands, crowded in on him, all over him, sisters and friends and dear travelling companions crowding around him, touching him, voices calling out in happiness and relief. His daughter in his arms, his mate by his side, and surrounded by friends and family, Tarrin knew that he would never find happiness and contentment any better than this, that this was better than anything, even being a god. Nothing compared to the power of the love held between him and these special people, and in their reunion he knew that everything was well, and everything was good, and there could be nothing better in all the universe than this.
He pried Jesmind off of him enough to embrace in turn both his sisters, and then all of his friends, as their excited voices whirled around and around in his ears. Keritanima was crying with joy, but stately Allia allowed no more than a single tear to well up in one eye. There were strangers present, and she had the honor of the clan to maintain, after all. She'd save her very emotional outburst for when they were in proper company. That almost made Tarrin laugh, but that was his sister, and he wouldn't change her for anything. Camara Tal gave him a warm hug, and he could sense the life growing inside her. Dar clapped him on the back, having to reach up quite a bit to do so, and tiny Sarraya settled for hugging his neck while he was nuzzling Miranda. He put down Jasana and picked up Eron, but his daughter clung to his leg as his son kissed him on the cheek and flung his tiny arms around his neck. He gave Mist a fierce hug, and then folded Dolanna in a gentle embrace that was full of warmth. He got crushed by Triana's powerful arms, making him wheeze and nearly breaking his ribs, then wrapped Kimmie in his arms and made a point of putting a paw on her now flat belly with loving eyes. He embraced Auli and Tiella in turns, then shook the hands of Rallix and Allyn and Koran Tal. Kang saluted him sharply, but Darvon gave the Were-cat a rough hug full of pride. Ianelle kissed him on each cheek, and he even found it in himself to reach out and put his arm around Shiika, in her wingless, human form, braving her unnatural scent.