Web Site Story

'I don't,' said Dr Druid. 'I have run all the usual tests. The Gugenheimer Cheese Recognition Test. The McNaulty Handkerchief Scan, knotted and unknotted. I've tried rattling change in my trouser pockets and even whistling in a very low and mournful manner, which quite put the wind up one of my interns.'

'Did you try moving a pencil back and forward across an ashtray?' Derek asked.

'Naturally.'

'And what about reciting the alphabet into a paper cup?'

'I also tried it into a bedpan.'

Derek now shook his head, but didn't raise an eyebrow. 'You're very thorough indeed,' he observed.

'Well, I am a doctor,' said Dr Druid. 'Your shoulders look very stiff, Ms Sirjan, perhaps I could massage them for you?'

'Would it be possible for me to speak to any of the patients?' Kelly asked.

'Possibly later. They're currently being interviewed by a policeman and a fireman. Not that they'll get anything from them. They seem to have lost the power of speech and hearing as well, as far as I can make out. I could give your back a quick rub, if you like, my dear. Or perhaps take you to dinner?'

Kelly's fingers twisted at strands of her golden hair. 'Thanks, but no thanks,' she said. 'Derek is taking me out to dinner tonight.'

'Am I?' said Derek.

'Yes,' said Kelly. 'You are.'

There are many splendid eateries in Brentford. There is Archie Karachi's Star of Bombay Curry Garden in the Baling Road. Wang Yu's Chinese Chuckaway in Albany Crescent. The Wife's Legs Cafe down at the end of Half Acre. And the Laughing Sprout, Brentford's only vegetarian restaurant, which tucks itself away at the bottom of Horseferry Lane, near to the river, where no-one has to look at it much. It's a very romantic little venue, but it doesn't serve any meat.

Derek was a young man who very much liked his meat. His father, a man made wise with many years, had told him the value of protein. 'Eat meat and keep your bowels open and trust in the Lord, if the need should arise,' were the words his father spoke on the subject, and words Derek never forgot. He ate up his meat and kept his bowels open and would no doubt one day trust in the Lord, if the need ever arose.

A little after eight of the evening clock, he led Kelly Anna Sirjan through the door of the Laughing Sprout and was directed by the waiter to the table for two that overlooked the river.

'I believe this to be safe,' said Derek, as he pulled out a chair for Kelly. 'The chances of being hit by a river-boat are, in my opinion, quite remote.'

'It's very nice here,' said Kelly. 'Do you come here often?'

The lie that might have sprung from his lips did not even enter his head. 'No,' said Derek. 'I've never been here before. But I'm right assuming you're a vegetarian?'

'How did you get on after I left the hospital? You said you were going to the bus depot.'

Derek seated himself and toyed with his serviette. 'I did. I checked the bookings for the bus tour. There was one other tourist aboard. The son of the lady with the unpronounceable name.'

'So whatever happened to him?'

'Search me,' said Derek. 'He wasn't on the bus when we helped the others. Perhaps he just got off and walked away.'

'And left his mother? That's very strange.'

'Everything is strange about that crash. I talked to some of the eyewitnesses. They say the driver wasn't steering the bus, that he was flapping his hands about and going crazy.'

'Had he been drinking, or something?'

'Not according to Dr Druid. I took the liberty of asking him to call me if there were any developments. If the patients got their memories back or anything.'

'And do you think he will?'

'I also took the liberty of mentioning money. There might be a story here. A big story. I wouldn't want the nationals to get to it first.'

'You'd like the exclusive all for yourself

Derek made a sour face. 'I spent two hours typing it all up, simply to be told by Mr Shields that he was covering the story and I should just clear off home.'

'Will we be seeing a picture of Chalky the doll on tomorrow's front page?'

'I shouldn't be at all surprised.'

The waiter, an eastern European type, dressed in gypsy trappings, was hovering near with the wine list and now made polite coughings.

'Ah yes,' said Derek. 'What would you like to drink, Kelly?'

'A glass of red wine please.'

'A glass of red wine then,' Derek said to the waiter. 'And do you have any beers?'

'We do Sprout Lager, sir. It has to be tasted to be believed.'

'Two red wines it is then.'

The waiter nodded and turned to leave and then he turned back again. 'Excuse me please, sir,' he said. 'But I couldn't help overhearing your conversation.'

'Ah,' said Derek, thoughtfully.

'It's just that, well, you see, my sister, she saw the crash happen.'

'Really,' said Derek. 'How interesting.'

'I don't think you really meant that,' whispered Kelly.

'I think he overheard me speak of money,' whispered Derek.

'Oh no, sir,' said the waiter. 'It isn't that. I don't ask for money. It's only that my sister was greatly troubled by the thing she saw.'

'Seeing an accident is never pleasant,' said Derek. 'But your sister will get over it in time.'

'Oh no, sir. I don't think she will. Not with the thing she saw.'

'Go on,' said Derek.

'Well, sir, I overhear you say about the lady's son, missing from the crash. My sister see him come down from the top deck of the bus. She say he looked very frightened and lost as if he don't know where he is. His eyes all staring and scared. Then he turn around and walk into the wall of the shop next door to the Plume Cafe.'

'Did he injure himself?' Derek asked.

'No, sir, you misunderstand me. He walk into the wall. Into it. Like a ghost. He walk into the wall and he vanish.'

Derek looked at Kelly.

And Kelly looked at Derek.

'Most amusing,' said Derek. 'You had us going there. Two red wines it is then, thank you.'

'No, sir.' The waiter looked most agitated. 'I'm not pulling at your plonker nor anything. This is what she see with her own two eyes. In the broad daylight. He come down from the bus and he walk into the wall and he vanish. She see it and it trouble her greatly. She honest and church-going. She say it a very bad omen. She say the Devil walk amongst us in Brentford.'

'I don't think things have got quite that bad yet,' said Derek. 'But you are serious, aren't you?'

'You can see that he is,' said Kelly.

'Serious,' said the waiter. 'I not like to tell people of this. But I hear you say that everything seem strange about the bus that is crashing. Everything more than strange, I tell you. Everything evil. Best beware.'